Important...helphelphelp - horrible emotion problem?

Question

I AM LOST!

From constant negative thoughts about my boyfriend, I forced my boyfriend to say its over for us both. I sent him hate e-mail with the most hateful thing you'd never want to hear from the person you love, I told him to F**K off when he say he still loves me, I said that I hate him and dont love him anymore, I see hate when I see photos of him...

I feel much better now but WHY did I do all those things I've done. My boyfriend have done some bad things in the past when he hasn't met me but I continously think about it.

I refuse to let myself go back to him but why why why why why??? I cann't control the way I feel. I want to be with him but I'm not letting myself unless I can become stabbally happy.

I feel like that it's too late to turn back. I've done this a few times already but this time is the worst. I'm trying to kill my bf emotionally on purpose. I'm trying to destroy his life for what?

Help, what should I do?????

P.s Dont say I'm evil and that he deserves better, I know he does thats why I left him but I seriously cannot control these thoughts.

What should I do to stop it..is it too late

I felt really negative and horrible, sad last night. I woke up and I told my bf to f*ck off when he said he still love me. 10minutes later I went to have dinner and I feel like nothing had happened tho my eyes was dead from crying.

Im seeing my local doctor in 2 hours. I dont know what to do? Help?

Answer 1

you should seek professional help from a psychiatrist. clam yourself down a lot of people go through a hard time emotionally. do something nice for yourself and stop feeling guilty because it won't help. you will learn to understand your emotions better. please go to therapy and don't do anything drastic or emotional right now.  

Answer 2

you sound like me but i got over it. i started listening to positive music that was uplifting. there is a group called "taproot" that has incredible lyrics. to me atleast, they speak soley on self improvement and how they got over negativity. even if you dont like the music listen to the lyrics or look some of their music up and read the lyrics. take out the lines you can relate to and use them to help you nurse your broken, and tormented spirit. music can be used as a form of therapy and can help in a little way to encourage your progress in being a better person. you are not a hateful person, you just have hateful ways. people can change if they want to, i decided that i wanted to change and slowly but surely i have been doing so. stay positive and think towards the future, not the past for it is over and done with and can not be altered.... but the future can, can it not? you hold the power to change yourself and i am glad you are making the proactive choice to seek help and guidance. good for you!!!! i hope you get the help you need and i pray that God bestows you with many blessings and the strength to move forward with your life.

take care and be blessed.

suggested songs by taproot and various artists

taproot: art

taproot: emotional times

taproot: sumtimes

taproot: I

taproot: 1 nite stand

taproot: myself

taproot: poem

disturbed: remember

korn: my gift to you

alicia keys: super woman

beyonce: resentment

if you dont like any of these artists then find some music that you do like and use it to help you stay on the right track. good luck sweetheart and be blessed.

Answer 3

maybe your bi-polar. my aunt is and she acts that way towards her husband, when she really doesn't mean it . you just need to work on some self reflection, and perhaps seek professional help JUST in case