Important to see a therapist who has an understanding of adoption/foster issues?

Question

For people who are adopted or for AP or foster kids, do you think it is important that a therapist you plan to work with have an understanding of issues relating to adoption or foster care?

I think that some of the issues faced are really different than the general population and if a therapist has not had experience working in these areas, they might not be sensitive to the special issues.

Thoughts?

Answer 1

Hi Looney Tunes,

Yes, I feel it is extremely important that an experienced therapist who specializes in adoption/foster care issues works with adoptees.  There is a therapist in our town who specializes in adoption/foster issues and he is an adoptee.  He is very popular here and he is the only therapist i would even consider for my children.

Answer 2

I am adopted and have been thinking about seeing a therapist for a while. I think i have commitment issues. I have trouble opening up to most people and I wonder if it has to do with the fact that I am adopted. I think the only person who could help me is someone with experience dealing with other adoptees.

Answer 3

Ofcourse, I think that is an absolute necessity for any part of the adoption triad.  The same goes for a physician/pediatrician.  I found a great pediatrician for my son who has handled many specifically internationally adopted children and was aware of some of the exsisting health conditions, etc., from the get-go.

Answer 4

it depends, I think it is important to see someone who respects your family and knows about the issues at hand.  But I think a great many kids have been abused by attachment therapist saying they are the "only real treatment" for adopted kids.

If the foster child is being RUd to birth parents, then there really is no reason why any therapist who works with the issue that kid is deal with could not work well with that child.

We have been to therapist who did not respect adoptive families at all.  

We have been badly hurt by an attachment therapist as well.  

Actually, the best therapist we have worked with were specialist with the issue at hand such as autism or sexual abuse.  

there are a lot of people out their taking great advantage of foster and adopted kids by selling attachment therapy

www.childrenintherapy.org  

Answer 5

Yes, it's important to have a therapist/counselor who understands foster/adoption issues.  At the very least, someone who does not 'dismiss' them.  Some professionals specialize in relinquishment/abandonment and foster/adoption concerns and do counseling only with clients dealing with those issues.

While I don't think it's imperative to have a 'specialist', it doesn't hurt.  I think what's more important is to have a counselor/therapist who understands that these issues are important to YOU and validates the concerns -- and what you believe to be the source of the concerns -- as s/he works with you to process and/or resolve them.

I saw one therapist (twice) who, on the second meeting, asked me what I thought the source(s) of my anger was/were.  I said that it was complicated and that I didn't think it had ONE or even just a FEW sources but that my being adopted was, in my opinion, a major contributing factor.  His response was (verbatim), "pfuw!"  He went on to tell me that it was most certainly NOT my adoptive status that caused (or even contributed to) my feelings and that I needed to "get over that" before I could recognize the "real" nature -- and source -- of my pain.  What a TWIT -- Ph.D notwithstanding!  Needless to say (as we 'hear' the steel-beam portcullis of my self-defense slamming shut!) I was out of his office in two minutes flat and he never saw/heard from me again.

My current therapist is a specialist in abandonment issues (he sees many adoptees, natural parents, current/former foster children, divorcees and children of divorcees) and I appreciate that but what makes him right for me is that we communicate well, in a common 'language', and he is respectful of all the varied and complex contributing factors that make me 'who I am'.  And he's a plain-and-simple NICE guy.  I suspect he was always a nice person, and didn't let his 'degrees' turn him into a condescending jerk.

Anyway, it certainly wouldn't hurt to have someone who has extra knowledge and experience.  I think a counselor who is respectful and who you can get along with is the most important thing.  If you can find BOTH in one person...all the better.

Best of luck to you!!

Answer 6

I think that it would be important to have a therapist familiar with adoption/foster care issues, absolutely.  I completely agree with your reasoning.  

I would like to add a caveat: that the "best" therapist is the one you are comfortable with.  Choosing a therapist is a very individual decision: you're basing it on whatever criteria is important to you.

That can be based on race/gender/background/religion or whatever else you choose.  Don't be afraid to "shop around" until you find the therapist that is the right fit for you.

Answer 7

I gave up a child for adoption and I saw a special therapist that deals with only adoption for a long time.  

Answer 8

yes indeed I am adopted an I do think I need a therapist.