In 1973, my mother took back my father after he had run off to California with my godmother...?

Question

I was an only child at the time. We had to move in with my grandparents for about a year or so. Then she took him back, had two more kids, and my parents were divorced about a decade later after he was pretty much unemployed and fooling around during much of that time.

My mother has since passed, but I have since wondered -- and there's really no one around to ask -- why did she take him back in the first place?

Answer 1

People get back together for many reasons.    Money

kids

second chance.

Some honestly think that  things might improve with time.  Others think they  rather stay in a bad relationship than be alone.

Answer 2

Could you imagine living with your parents with kids in tow? Too many cooks in the kitchen, living under someone else's rules, and most likely being told to do something in the way of finding you a father. She saw it as the lesser of two evils. She could be on her own and focus on her kids and he was going to do what he was going to do regardless. Sometimes a mom has to do what a mom has to do. Back then it wasn't easy finding a guy to accept a woman with kids, she may have felt like she ad no other choice.

Answer 3

For you, she may have thought she couldn't do it on her own. But turns out she had to take care of you and him.  sad!  xox

Answer 4

She obviously was very insecure and lacked self esteem. It's too bad she was never able to make better decisions.

I don't see the point in focusing on this question. You should move on with your life and not try to understand the actions of someone else. Instead, learn from her mistakes and apply them to the choices you make in your own life (i.e., not turing out like your loser father).  

Answer 5

Kids, keeping the family together. Embarrassment from friends that it didn't work out especially back in those times when the nuclear family and divorce were still looked upon badly...  

Answer 6

There are a lot of things kids don't need to know about.  It is none of your business, and you need to let them be. O k dear?

Answer 7

There are probably as many answers to this as there are questions. Who knows what makes people choose the lives they choose. I think it is hard to love someone and find out that they were not who or what you thought they were.

Sometimes I think a person keeps trying because they can't believe they were so wrong about the one they fell in love with. I believe they blame themselves for stuff that is not thier fault then rationalize that if they change.. the other person will too.

Add children and it just gets harder to figure it out. You want to keep your family intact, thats human nature.. even if it is a huge mistake.. it is in us to want to believe the best and keep trying.

The really sad part is the damage done to those you love in the process.

Answer 8

Sorry to hear about your mother. You know there is no way to know exactly why your mother took him back, She saw something in him, she must have thought he had changed, but later realized he hadn't changed

Answer 9

she loved him-even though people are hurtful the love for them doesnt disappear

Answer 10

I can answer that for you, being that i did come from a alcoholic father and a women chaser as well. My mother had 10 children from my father and only 7 of us survived. My mother stayed with my father only because it was the thing to do in those days and if he was not happy in the home the blame always fell on the women. Divorce women were looked down a pond, and no decent man would want one, only for a good time, It was in bedded in women of those days to put up with his bad behavior, and i am sure your grandparents had a lot to do with her going back to him. Divorce in those days was a big NO, NO and you must stay with each other until the end, my mother did until he died, and now she is a free women and happier for it, she is 86 years old.

Answer 11

Because she thought he had changed and "it was best for the kids" Or kid, of you were an only child...