In December, A Poem. Critique?

Question

How I Wish She'd Be Greatful

For The Love He Cherishes

In His Own Beating Heart

As It Beats, For Only Her

How She Should Love The Feeling

Of Their Lips Wrestling Sweetly

And Of FingerTips InterTwined

Every Bittersweet Day That Passes

Oh How I Had The Boy

Netted In My Loving Web

Entangled In My CHarming Presence

Six Arms Couldn't Hold Him Down

I See That I Must Have Done Wrong

Hugged Him Too Tightly

Punched In The Numbers Too Soon

Screamed His Name Too Softly

'must Have Driven The Boy Insane

For That It How He Came Across

When He Spoke Three Words

A Last Time, In December

I Know This Story Has Come To End

And A Sequal Is Not In Process

But I Cannot Help MySelf

For Hating That Day, In December

Answer 1

Confusing; with the caps and all. A couple misspellings. Pretty predictable, too.

Answer 2

Not very good.  It's obvious, the caps are really distracting, and it doesn't make much sense.

"For That It How He Came Across"???  What's that supposed to mean?

Answer 3

mmmmm.. ok

you better regret something you did than to regret something you didnt ...

i mean what is the point of hating your days and your experiences if it has done you a favour and tought you something

Answer 4

The flow id way to subjegated, line abrevation is not used properly,, good imagery and nice wording however iti very hard to read an keep together, try using some more concise wording.

Answer 5

I loved it!

especially the last line

"For Hating That Day, In December"

I thought this poem was so deep, and written with real emotion=]

Answer 6

when i was reading this poem i felt it really ment something it was pretty good =D

Answer 7

I loved the part:

"I See That I Must Have Done Wrong

Hugged Him Too Tightly

Punched In The Numbers Too Soon

Screamed His Name Too Softly"

I think you should try to replace the word love if it repeats. Same with loving.

Read my poem?

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