In Germany I hear from more and more non muslim native german guys how family honor?

Question

is important how they wouldnt marry a girl if her mother filed for divorce. What do you think is the reason "family honor" enters Europe ? Do you think its the influence of Islam, or do you think its simply the fear of getting ruined in divorce and looking for excuses not to marry ?

Answer 1

I don't know, but if that's an example of a man's "superior logic" I want no part of it.  "Logic is simple" try using stupid scare tactics to control women. If the women have any brains they won't be manipulated. Do the men mention it if their father got the divorce?

Answer 2

I think its retarded, quite frankly.  I am not my mother and I do not emulate my mother's actions.  To think that a daughter would divorce simply because a mother has divorced in backwards, narrow-minded, and, honestly, stupid.  It has been my experience that BECAUSE of my parent's divorce that I personally will never have one.  For me, it's "till death do us part" and really "for better or worse".  

Besides, how would you feel if German women started saying they wouldn't marry a man who's father either filed for divorce, cheated on the mother, or had a drinking problem?  You would be angry, I would think.  The man is not the father--he is his own individual.  As are we all.

Anyone who thinks like this is simply looking for a reason to not get married or entering into a marriage with false sense of security and false hopes/beliefs.  Because honestly, just because a woman's mother hasn't gotten a divorce doesn't mean she won't either.

The only way to avoid a divorce is to marry someone who is willing to work through all the hard times and who you know you can stand to hate for short periods of time (some get out when the going gets tough, but that's no way to maintain a marriage.  The going WILL get tough.  Deal with it).

Answer 3

Simple answer, they're swayed by backwardness. I don't doubt there are some men who want what most muslim get without having to struggle for it. The question here is if it is a decent thing.

'Family honour', even the sound of the phrase is laughable, except when it's the tale of a woman being killed by her father/brother/uncle for disobedience.

Answer 4

I think the imperative on 'family values' is part of what has combined to create one of the lowest birth rates in Europe - if women can't find egalitarian partners, for the main part they will not marry.  Men who are expected to shoulder the lone breadwinner role will not be able to afford this till later in life - basically, their own beliefs work against them :-)

What I am saying is that negative beliefs about marriage - such as excessively strong traditional 'family values' that extend to the parents of the partner in question, work against themselves by removing the desire / ability to start a new marriage with someone - the pickier you are, the less people you will find who meet your standards - the more willing to adapt and compromise you are, the more people you will meet who meet your standards :-)