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I'm 37 yo & recently diagnosed with lupus. I'm a mom to 4 kids (grades 2, 3, 7, 9). the 9 yo is a little person & the 11 yo is autistic. Recently I have been suffering from depression. 2 years ago I moved 2300 miles from where I was born. I have no family & only a few friends (none that live close by, or that I can count on really).

My husband & I were together for 3 years before we got divorced. 3 years later we got back together but never remarried. This relationship has been off and on for 15 years now. He cheated on me more times than not, he left me at a homeless shelter as well, said he needed to find himself. After he didn't keep his promises, nor resolve any of his personal issues, I left him again. I have sole custody of kids, there is no property to split, no assets. When we split this time, he told me I could have the house (it was his inheritance), he didn't want the kids to lose everything, he agreed to move out. He asked that I wait for the tax return before forcing him out so he would have money to go. He told it hadn't come yet. I found out he got it, and has it in bank. Of course he denies it, but that isn't the point. So I told him that he could have the house, I am done with games. Of Course he swears he isn't playing any. Last weekend, he started the whole, I will go get help and I will change, I need you and the kids in my life junk. I am not buying it. Told him so. That was when he got nasty, and he said this is his house he don't have to leave.

I went and saw my shrink, who is of very lil use I wanna add (I'm working on finding a new one) she said from everything (things not mentioned) that I am in an emotionally abusive relationship. She suggested I find support groups, which I did. I went to a meeting, it was a little helpful, I saw what she was talking about. It really hit the nail on the head. I know I need to leave. That part is settled. I own my own car. The boys get SSI & it comes to me. However, I have no real training other than cashier, it's been years since I worked due to health, and I have no other money, or real credit to move. How does someone like me start over. Do I just go and not tell him, do I tell him and hope he respects boundaries.. I am not sure about any of this, except that I need to go. Once I am settled, I have also decided that I want to finish college, but as well with that, what do I do about the kids?

Any advice is appreciated and welcomed. I do not need to be criticized for choices and mistakes I have made. I am now trying to move forward, not relive the past, if you have nothing else to say, please don't reply. Thanks for listening, & your time.

Answer 1

As for your husband/or ex husband tell him to move on. You deserve better and so do your kids.

As for college, you can take courses online (I do) all from home so you don't need any special care for your kids. University of Phoenix...call them, It is sooo worth it. I pay nothing out of pocket, It is all financial aid

Answer 2

You are probably entitled to child support even though  your sons get SS. It takes more than that amount to care for children. Since you have always been the caregiver for your children you may also be entitled to alimony. If he can't afford it, make him sell the house. You really need to talk to an attorney.

Answer 3

Sweetheart I don't really know what to say to you but my heart goes out to you, sounds like you have a real charmer for a husband, luckily not all men are like this. Do you live in England if so why not go and see the councilor of the district where you live and see if he can do anything about the council rehousing you, because it sounds as if you really need to get away from this man, there is also social services, with 4 kids I'm sure they could put some weight behind you with the council, you must keep yourself and your kids safe, you could get a restraining order out on him, this I think you will have to see a solicitor about. God bless you and keep safe, I will be thinking about you.

Answer 4

I agree with " sisternvirginia ". He is irresponsible and you need to make him pay in every way you possibly can, not only for your sake, but also for the sake of your children...