In-laws are driving me up the wall (kids involved) ?

Question

I'm stuck in the middle. Here's the situation:

- both families have different ideas of what is "respect" and what is offensive (mine is the more conservative)

- both families love visiting (my in-laws a WHOLE lot more than my own family - sisterIL - mother IL and the kids)

- my nieces and nephews on both sides clash in personalities - in law side of the kids are way too aggressive (pushing, hitting...etc) - on top of that - the parents of those aggressive ones won't reprimand them and will laugh at the fact they hit

- My family reacts back and get very upset and won't come as much as they want to (they only come over literally 2x a month)

I want to tell my in-laws to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE and live in the house that they are paying monthly for without sounding

1) offensive

2) I don't love them (because I do)

But I have to put my foot down - my husband and I are going CRAZY

Answer 1

"We love having you guys over. We just need to know in advance, because we are busy and need our own time too. So if you wouldnt mind calling (a few days, a week?) before you come to check if we are free, we would really appreciate it. Thanks!"

They sound like they dont know boundaries. You have to spell it out clearly for people like that.

If they then show up suddenly, tell them at the door that youre busy and cant entertain today, but set a time for a different day -- even if you arent actually doing anything. Stick to the rules you set out for them, or you wont have credibility and theyll ignore your request.

Answer 2

just tell them how you feel and ask them politely to get out or give them an ultimatum or schedule times they can come over and gradually get them out of the house...if theyre belligerint i would threaten calling the police to get them out...it your house you have the right to allow certain ppl and kick certain ppl out...in laws like that are disrespecting you for putting you through this ordeal and obvisously just want to mooch off you...change the locks on the doors

Answer 3

just sit down and tell them nicely that you want to be alone  

Answer 4

First off that's his family,so he should be doing the talking.  You cant give parenting advice if you are not a parent, people don't take that well unfortunately.  But he can tell then that a bit more space is needed and maybe when your family is visiting that its one family at a time and you can always have both families over special times for a dinner or something.  But since the kids all dont play well together and things are so busy for the most part it would be easier on everyone to seperate the groups.  

Answer 5

Simple. Move far away from both families.