In laws won't speak to me, why?

Question

My husband and I split up May 31, have a 16 mo old son. He has a mental problem. My mother in law and I were very close and she seemed to be trying to get us back together and save our marriage. My hubby lives with her. I thought her son cheated on me with a 250 lb girl and I got mad and dumped his stuff in her yard with her watching (she told me I could do it). His brother won't talk to me, his sister will though.. we're still cool. But my MIL told my mom via phone that "she really wanted to help us and help those kids to be happy together but that she is giving up and can't do anything about her sons behavior or mine".

I told her I didnt really want her around my son until I know for sure if he cheated (she says he didnt, its just a friend). But she wont talk to me really.

Answer 1

It sounds like your mother in law doesn't like being caught in the middle of a really difficult situation and I can't blame her. It's bad enough when she's asked to deal with choosing sides between her son and her daughter in law.  Even worse when you threaten not to let her son see her grandson.

More importantly, there is a great truth she shared with your mother that you need to take to heart. She "can't do anything about her son's behavior" or yours.  Only you and your husband can choose to conduct yourselves as adults and control your behavior.  It isn't his mother's job to 'make him behave' or to influence your behavior.  Both of you need to act like adults and talk through this difficult situation and decide what you believe is the truth and what you can live with based on that truth.  The rest of the family can only support you in the decisions you make. Unless you behave so badly they simply can't offer any support.  

Answer 2

First and foremost......you did not know for sure he was cheating on you???  Secondly does it really matter if she was 250lbs or 135 lbs?  do you think it matters?  If the problem is her weight then you have a bigger problem...you need to need to let him see his daddy they need to be able to have a relationship with or without you knowing if he cheated on you....that has nothing to do with his son

Answer 3

A cheating husband does NOT equal a bad father...you should not be using your child to get back to your husband or his family especially...you should not keep your child away from his grandparents...go over there and set up some kind of visitation with them and be sure NOT to discuss your marital problems...if you think your marriage is worth keeping then go see a family/marriage counsellor. In the meantime, get your son and his grandparents/dad together...the person who will suffer the most is your child.

Answer 4

In their silence, they are probably supporting and backing their relative whether he did right or wrong-this is what families do.  Or they could just be that they don't want to get in the middle of things.  Why would you punish your MIL for her sons behavior by not letting her grandchild around her?  Even if he did cheat, you don't have any legal right to withhold visitations from dad or grandma.  Take the opportunity to be a good example for your child and be the adult by allowing Grandma and dad to visit.  You don't have to like him or what he did, but you will have to deal with him the rest of your life because of the child the two of you had together...I know....it sucks

Answer 5

You sound like you have some issues. You went over the edge if you aren't 100% sure he cheated. 100%!

Answer 6

What in the world would make you say that you do not want her around your son if your husband cheated on you? That is not only immature, but hurtful to your son. It is unfortunate if your husband cheated but acting crazy and erratic by dumping things in her yard (with or without her permission) is not doing yourself any favors. Take the high road and act like a mature adult. Otherwise, if you ever want him back, either to save your marriage or because he did not cheat, you are going to look like an ***.

Answer 7

Lucky.

Answer 8

u r lucky; i wish my in laws would stop talking to me