In league with the Horned One?

Question

A delightful, learned and scholarly neighbor of mine by the name of Simon, son of an Earl, friend of mine you see. Tender of age, twenty two, I took it upon myself to keep my eye on this here boy, as he enjoyed his new Home and racy Sports Car. It was the least I could do for my friend's Son.

Until recently, everything was as becoming to any young Chap such as Simon, by that I mean good social life, beating his Servs, coupling with the Local Ladies and Village Bints alike. Just like me as a Young Fellow to boot.

Until one night he brought back this rather strange looking Raven Haired Starlet. A beauty to be sure, striking, forbidding and clad in Black. Ah! I thought, he's been to a Goth Concert, and I thought nothing of it. But now I am filled with dread, as this Simon has changed drastically since this coupling of sorts. He's since adopted a large smock as his main apparel, shaved his head and has taken to shrieking alien sounding Chants in the Garden, come the Midnights of clear evenings whenever the Moon is at it's full Zenith.

This morning I saw him have a poo on his lawn with his smock hoisted up high. Gave me a start, let me tell you. Dropped me scone I did.

He then starred at me for what seemed ages, till I said hello. He replied with a bloodcurdling "How do you do" and

"Where art thou off to?"

"Just to Church Old Chap, care to join me?", says I waving the good book at him. His reply was truly terrifying, as he hissed, lifted up his smock front with one claw-like hand and waggling a rather fearsome Erection with the other. As I hastily beat a retreat, I could hear him shouting some Bedeviled Incantation. . . . I shudder today still.

Well, the question at hand. Is this lad in League with Lucifer?

Or is it how today's youngsters get out of going to Church?

Answer 1

do you people know nothing about satanism, as a satanist i can tell you that nothing you have described has anything to do with satanism. sounds more like drugs to me, but anyway, to be honest its none of your business what this guy does with his life, if he wants to take a poo on the lawn that is up to him isn't it. I suggest you just ignore it.

Answer 2

I am afraid to tell you that your worst dream has come true and the answer is that this is how the youth of today get out of goign to church!!!! lol  Alas if it were as simple as him being in league with that devil Lucifer how well off he would be now!!  F or our dear Lucifer is only interested in souls which are born and developed with religions  Alas your Simon has yet to develop his soul is therefore no good to man, beast, god or devil let alone to himself.  what a terrible dillemna for you, the hardest thing to do is make the young see sense and go to church, which church / religion does not matter.  my advice is to show him how many and how varied religion can be, some can be good fun as well, like the firewalking of the Tamils, or even the Karma sutra of the indians.

yous sincerely (with tongue deep in cheek)

  

Answer 3

By God he would appear to be at the beck and call of Lucifer himself old boy, the good book won't be of much use to you here old chum. A crossbow is what you need, yes a crossbow and a steady hand for it is evil we are dealing with here! No foolish indiscretions of youth but black hearted evil.

local cats gone missing have they? the village goat found beheaded with its blood used as paint to redecorate the village church? Yes, yes all to common amongst these types. Take the crossbow and do what must be done old boy, no time for questions! We can't have evil fouling on British soil after all can we. Tip top.

Answer 4

Not with any of the Horned ones BadBeast hear of .

Rub his Emo nose in the Pooh, then play him Proto Goth ( Bauhaus, Banshees, This Mortal Coil, Cocteau Twins, etc) non stop for at least a week, in a darkened room, at full volume, with nothing to eat but Magick Mushrooms.

Den we see what he do with his " inappropriate" tumescent" Gothtodge. Then, give him up to the Great BadBeast, for Social re-alignment therapy and hopefully he will never do this in quite the same way again!

Answer 5

My good sir, may one suggest the good Dr Mutabu Mutabu Bwhunglow, he assisted my chum "Biffy", you see "Biffy" had an unfortunate incident with a feisty young filly by the name of Heidi Howbagshaft. it turned out that "Biffy" was seduced by the mind controlling powers of this Devil deciple and a night of deborchuary followed she then using her eivil mind torture attempted to rob young "Biffy" out of thirty pounds to pay the ways of her evil followers, "Biffy" refused and managed to tie her to the bed and the true beast inside came forth, a mountain of foul mouthed abuse wretched from her writhing torso, foul spittle rained into every corner of the room, objects near to the bed were thrown with un natural force accross the room being guided by her talon like hoofs, it was indeed the work of the devil...Dr Mutabu Mutabu was called in and spoke the words of the Lord (and paid her fifty quid) and the devil left...