In need of hubby help?

Question

my husband has been telling me that i have affected his and our daughters realtionships as i refuse to beleave what he wants me to beleave which is that everything wrong with our marriage is to do with me being angry, the reason i get angry with him is because i cant understand him no one can everyone thinks that he is strange or crazy which is not an excuse for my anger, but it is frustrating always having to defend him to everyone because their not sure if his being an *** only to come home and be told that i am wrong about something else.

i have suggested counsilling he wont go, i suggested communication seminars but he dosen't think he has a problem, he says that he doesn't blame me but everything i say is wrong wrong wrong.

does anyone have any suggestions on how to communicate with my husband, iam worried that eventually he will end up alone his lost most of his friends all of his family and every argument has been the same, to be honest i cant handle being around him when he is being right! which seems to be alot latley.

i hope this makes sense any help would be great

Answer 1

Your husband sounds like mine he hates to be wrong. First never disagree with him on the outside wait til you get home and second its a mans ego because we are women and this is there world they think. But honey if its not life threating ignore him cause one day he will be proved wrong

Answer 2

My wife and I have our disagreements about things,, we will both listen or read tha smae thing and we both interpete it differently,,, Some times she is right and sometimes I am,, We both acknowledge when we are wrong,, However, on a daily conversation we can not talk to each other,, Whaat she has to say ,I have heard many times before and what I have to say just isn't important to her,, So we are more like casual friends in the conversation department,,

  A man that does not have time to listen to his wife and constantly tells her she is wrong and shouldn't even open her mouth because she is wrong all the time,,has a hugh problem. And since he is right all the time,, doesn't think he has a problem, everyone else does.   The ONLY way this type of person will ever acknowledge his problem is for him to loose everything he has. You said he has already lost some of his friends,(I am sure he says it is there problem)  So he is on his way down.. You can not have a happy marriage if you have to walk on eggshells and watch every word you say, and you can not just sit back and ignore or agree with him all the time..  If he refuses to go to counseling, I would suggest that you pack up the kids and leave him, Smile when you walk out the door and simply tell him if he wants you and the kids back he MUST go to counseling and after he has made improvements then you will CONSIDER moving back in.  

Answer 3

Maybe ending up loosing everything will be the only way that he will see that he does have a problem. In the meantime, stop listening and stop acknolwleding what he is saying, make your own decisions. There is no need to argue - just simply shrugg and say you dont care about his opinion, you have your own. When he says you are wrong, just laugh. You have to retrain him, some people just like to push buttons and once they realize they can no longer get a rise out of you they will soon begin to stop.

I do agree with people here who are saying for you to go to counseling as it will keep you strong and focused.

Answer 4

I have to agree with CJV. If he can't see that communication involves more than one person, then clearly he has a communication issue.  If you seek counseling for yourself, maybe you can ascertain if you should be in a relationship with him and why you feel you need to be responsible for his actions which cause him to loose his own family & his own friends.  

I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't think it is anger you are feeling as much as frustration.  

Answer 5

Sounds to me like he's not going to change. Sorry, but I would consider counseling for yourself (to cope, not 'cause you're wrong), and then go from there. Maybe once he sees that you are at your breaking point, he will change... but I doubt it. I think that you need to take care of you. It sounds like you've spent a long time taking care of him and his issues. You are worth more than that.