In need of information on how a private infant adoption is completed?

Question

My sister n' law and brother have conceived a child. Although the child is biologically theirs, my wife and I are to be the child's adoptive parents. Everything has been agreed upon by all parties. We are treating the situation like a surrogacy with donor egg and sperm, as neither my wife or I are able to conceive or utilize the in vitro process. Our question is, what is the process we must go through to complete the adoption once the baby is born? Additionally, will we need a lawyer or just an adoption kit? To complicate things a little, the baby will be born in a different state than we live in. Thank you in advance for any assistance you can provide!

Answer 1

You definitely want a lawyer, as adoption law varies from state to state.  If it is a simple act of drawing up the legal papers and getting you into court to have the right paperwork done, it will be fast and easy.

In the birth of a child, there are a lot of decisions to be made from immunizations to circumcision and the hospital needs legal documents to release the little person to a family other than the birth mother.  Also, if you have the baby, you need to be the legal guardian to consent for treatment if needed.

Also, being in two different states will be a challenge.

You could contact your employer and see if they have an Employee Assistance Program, which can assist with this and even may be covered under your services.  Also, a lot of employers will give an allowance for adoption to help cover some of the costs.  

You could also meet with the hospital social worker to see exactly what paperwork you need to get things going.

What a beautiful gift this is for a child and your family.  Good luck.

Answer 2

You are going to require an agency, a lawyer, a homestudy, and a lot of prayer.

Because the baby is crossing state lines, all the t's must be dotted, and the i's crossed.

Having S-i-L stay with you for a few weeks before baby is born so he is born in your state might reduce your complications, but CHECK WITH A LAWYER.

Answer 3

No matter you should contact an attorney who specializes in adoption and family law.  This will protect all parties involved, including the child.  You will have to have a homestudy done and approved through the state.  Or at least that's the law in most states.  

My other suggestion is stop treating it like a surrogacy.  It is not.  You aren't doing the child any good by pretending.  That child deserves open and honesty from the beginning.  Things happen, things are said, especially in families.   You need to do what's best for this child, and being honest about how they came to be from the very beginning is best, IMO.

Answer 4

It totally depends on the state that you are in, but you need a lawyer. Adoption is not a do-it-yourself project.  Get one that specializes in adoption since this is not considered a surrogacy by any standard. You need a lawyer in the state that the baby will be born.

I agree with the other poster. Your brother and SIL should have their own lawyer to make sure that everything is above board.

Answer 5

regardless of the circumstances you will need a lawyer &/or agency to be involved. You will need a home study conducted in your state that says you are qualified to adopt  (background check, interviews etc). In CA this is conducted by a licensed adoption agency and I assume the same is true in other states. For the adoption there are lots of legal papers to be filed in both states, including and interstate compact agreement that allow you to take the baby from one state to another.

After the baby is placed with you there is a waiting period before the adoption is finalize. during this time a social worker follows up to ensure the baby is being well taken care of. At  the end of this period the adoption is finalized. You can usually finalize in either state, and choose which one based on which will be better for  you (shorter waiting time). The finalization is  separate from the termination of the birthparents rights - this can usually happen within a few days, or at most a month. In CA you must have  the baby 6 mo before you can finalize. If you use an agency the agency is considered the "legal guardian" during that time (but all the responsiblity is really yours unless you totally mess up). If you use a private adoption attorney the baby is considered to be in foster care (state is responsible) until the adoption is finalized. These rules vary from state to state.

Answer 6

You really need to contact a lawyer, and your brother should get separate counsel.

Answer 7

It doesn't matter that it has all been agreed upon, you do  need an adoption attorney, and they need to have their own as well.  You will have to complete a home study and there will be a legal process.  You seem to want to bypass all of the legal protections for all parties involved, and that is wrong.  

Your sister-in-law is NOT this child's surrogate!  She is the mother.  Until this child's biological parents surrender their child for adoption, they are the only set of parents.  And if you adopt this child, your brother and sister-in-law will still be the child's biological parents, you can't pretend they were just "donors".  Egads, I hope your homestudy process has a good education component!