In need of serious help- am i going crazy?

Question

today i let my boyfriend (whom i love very much) read my "notebook"

this notebook had all my feelings written down from the times that i felt like i shouldnt be alive, when i thought i was just a piece of S**t, and when i was angry.

i have problems with cutting, binging/purging, and im pretty sure im just depressed, because i will be miserable for no reason.

my boyfriend loves me a lot and will always be there for me.

but anyway, i let him read my notebook, and i started crying histerically, because now everything is out, all of my secrets. there is nothing left to hide.and thats all i used to do, was cover it up. never let anyone see me cry.

my boyfriend completely understands me and everything andsupports me and tries to help me. but after i let him read it, i didnt feel like myself. i felt like there were two of me. and i even caught myself talking to my self in the mirror when i went to the bathroom.

i literally felt like i was not there at all. i felt like two different people and like my actuall self was trying to come thru, but it couldnt. im a little better now, but i just want to know what is going on with me

Answer 1

It sounds like a strong case of teenage angst.  It shall pass and you will calm down and everything will be back to normal before you know it.  You and your boyfriend will either be closer because of this, or not.  You shall just have to wait and see.

Answer 2

idiot you're schizophernic why the **** would you let anyone know all your secrets?

Answer 3

Your reaction is normal because you just let another person read the most personal and intimate details about your mind and your life. It sounds like you were dissociating from the experience, which is also normal. I hope you're getting help for the cutting and depression and purging. Good luck to you, stay safe.