In the hot seat..please help?

Question

I coach for my child's hockey team. I went to a tournament with my children and my girl friend's son. I was sitting with my girlfriend at a table and one of the kids on my teams mothers(who is single) plopped herself next to me, started talking to me. I introduced her to my girlfriend by her name. I made the mistake of not referring to her as my girlfriend. The woman started rubbing my back. I just tried to keep the peace because I am the coach. The woman glarred at my girlfriend all night and purposely started flirting w me. My girlfriend was furious. I know that the woman was doing this on purpose but I didn't want any conflict. I didn't say anything. The woman kept it up and my girlfriend had some words with her. 6 months had gone by and the woman called me last night and invited me to a party at her house. My girlfriend feels that this was inappropriate and says that she shouldn't be inviting me alone that all invitations should be extended to both of us. Is this woman out of line?

Answer 1

Whoa, that woman is a predator and you are the prey!

She obviously does not respect the fact that you have a girlfriend.  The woman should defnitely have included both you and your girlfriend on the party invitation.  To do otherwise was extremely thoughtless and totally out of line.

Your girlfriend is correct in feeling angry and hurt by this other woman's obvious flirtations toward you and because you are oblivious to the other woman's blatant come ons.  Your girlfriend's feelings need to be validated.  She has every right to be furious as long as this other woman keeps trying to split the two of you up.  If you want to remain a couple with your current girlfriend, you need to let the persistent woman know that you are NOT INTERESTED.

Answer 2

Just ask if it's ok if you bring your girlfriend. She can hardly say no, and if she does then just enjoy a nice night with your girlfriend. But bear in mind that it's been six months so it's kind of weird for her to invite you. If she continues to disrespect the feelings of your girlfriend (and bear in mind it's likely she won't, six months is a long time) then tell her you would really rather she stopped. And if you're at the party and she tries something, you can just make an excuse and leave.

Answer 3

I think u should either go to the party with ur girlfriend and tell the woman that u have a girlfriend and introduce ur girlfriend to her or not go. I'd perfer that u went to let her know u don't have feelings for her.

Answer 4

Yes.  She has every idea of what she's doing.  Don't go by yourself unless you want to be single.  I actually wouldn't go at all.  Say you have another committment on that day.  Next time, if something like that happens, get up and go somewhere else.  It should have been you to say something to her, not your girlfriend.  There are tactful ways of saying, excuse me I don't think that is appropriate.

Answer 5

Don't go to her house for any party. You need to be her son/daughter's coach and that's it. Don't let her rub your shoulder's. You need to say something like people will think something is going on here so you need to stop.  If she continues you need to be blunt with her.  Even though you didn't introduce your girlfriend as that I'm sure the woman knew she was and still disrespected her.  There should be no touching going on at all! You are going to end up introuble if you don't put a stop to this now.

Answer 6

Yes she is definitely out of line...and I hate to inform you but so are you....Keeping the peace at your partners expense is not the best way to handle a situation...your pretty much saying that the other woman's feelings are more important then your girlfriends.

I wonder why she called you...obviously you didn't give off the impression that her behavior was unacceptable. I'm in agreement with your girlfriend on this one...I hope your not even contemplating going to this party knowing how she behaved and how your partner feels...

Hope that helped...:)

EDIT: again why do you care what this other woman thinks...she obviously has no tact and is disrespectful at that! Start thinking of what the important people in your life are saying and don't worry about people who mean nothing to you. I mean really if you never heard from her in 6 whole months like you said than it's not like your going to ruin a beautiful friendship. I mean seriously , you need to wake up...I'm pretty sure if a guy was hitting on your girl and then contacted her 6 months later to attend a party you'd be hard pressed to kick his ***...so don't be a hypocrite...

Answer 7

Yes, she is so out of line it's not funny!  You and your girlfriend/defacto have a good thing going, why let some one that is so not classy wreck it for you.

You are a couple, and should be invited as a couple.

I would politely say, Thankyou for your invite, but my partner and I have all ready committed to other plans.

Try putting yourself in your girlfriends shoes, it would hurt you, so try and understand her point, even though there is totally nothing going on with this other woman (troublemaker), it does hurt.

Good Luck, and give your girlfriend a big hug and kiss, and tell her she means the world to you.

Minny :-)

Answer 8

Use your mind, the answer is "duh".

Couldn't you have figured that out on your on?

Answer 9

you should go t the party and bring you girlfriend. Hold her hand,give little kisses,and  give her your undivided attention. This will help send the message home to this other woman. If it doesn't then stay far away unless you like her and then in that case you may want to talk to your girlfriend.

Answer 10

If you want to respect your girlfriend and be a good boyfriend, you'd better stay home. This lady is trouble.