In the interests of being environmentally friendly, why can't I have an out house in my backyard?

Question

I live in a very nice part of Beverly Hills, California. Many of my neighbors are quite Liberal Hollywood types, bless them, and have complained to the city about my attemtps to recylce my human waste. It's not like I fling it over the hedge, I simply do what has to be done in a hole next to the hot tub. Then I have Jose spread it about the rose bushes the next day.

It seems to me that I am doing my part. Why am I being chastized for being green? Just last night Sean Penn threw 16 raw eggs at me. Ok, maybe a dozen. It was hard to count as I was squating at the time.

Answer 1

This is sick... It is one thing to go green and another to c**p in your outhouse in your backyard.  I wouldnt want you having one either.  Move to the forest if you want to act like an animal.

Answer 2

REC

Answer 3

That's not proper composting.

You could probably install a Clivus Multrum composting toilet, a self-contained outhouse/toilet contraption that composts waste (human waste, vegetable peelings, etc.) and stores it until you take it out and do whatever you want with your clean, bacteria-free soil.

I've used Clivus Multrums while camping and they're delightful.  Also, there's no issue with groundwater contamination, since the waste goes down a hole into a storage container contraption.  Also, there's no smell because of the ventilation system.

And there's a delightful breeze tickling your booty area as you sit upon it.

It's truly the pinnacle of outhouses and a great, NO WATER way to dispose of waste.

Very environmentally friendly.

But what you're doing is dangerous and bad for the environment.  Human waste should at least be buried underground so that soil microorganisms can break it down.

Ask if you can install a Clivus Multrum.

The earth thanks you.

Answer 4

Im sure beverly hills has a human waste facility to process your used food products. or wherever it is you really live. Do you grow your own tomatoes. ?