In the medical field, shouldn't touching a nude body be the same as an attorney touching his briefcase?

Question

Being in the medical industry for 15 yrs, I have had contact with numerous nude bodies.Yet in this field it is nothing sexual whatsoever! I view it the same as an attorney having contact with his breifcase, or an auto salesman touching a car, or a farmer touching animals or a cook touching food etc. It is only a job.I was a massage therapist before I married and my then boyfriend loved it.Yet as soon as we were married he demanded that I cut all male clients.Imagine walking into an office of a doctor, dentist, physical therapist, massage therapist, chiropractor, etc. and reading a huge sign that says."Happy to serve all Female patients or clients only".That would be stupid and absurred & thats what I told my husband.Im sad that he is so jealous & insecure, and I dont just blow off his feelings & insecurities yet I cant let it cut into my career.I certainly dont get turned on when my OB/GYN makes me spread eagle while giving me an exam. Nor would I care if my husband became an OB/GYN

Answer 1

I've read your other questions...your husband is SO insecure.  He has no right to demand you cut your male clients.  That is your career, something you chose to do before he was even in the picture.  Even still, he has no right to try and place restrictions on your life in any way.  Do you want to live your life like this?

Answer 2

maybe yourhusband has had shadey grlfriends in the past . or maybe the messages you gave him were umm followed ny happy endings. you need to let him know that your doing your job and unless he wants to get a second job to make up for the lost income he needs to get his jealousy in check. you should not have to discriminate between clients unless you only message the hotties and not the fatties too

Answer 3

I think its the same thing, nothing to be ashamed of, just you need to help those people, you're there to help people, which is why you work in the medical feild.

Answer 4

he;s a control freak, tell him to stop it

Answer 5

yes i agree its part of the job just like the examples you gave. I think he's just jealous

Answer 6

Yes it should be the same as an attorney touching his briefcase although that isn't quite the same as the briefcase doesn't have feelings etc.   The thing is that men can get turned on in a massage but it doesn't necessarily mean they want to do anything about it.

Jealousy just really tells you how insecure someone is but if you just tell him that he will probably get even madder.  All you can do is act in a professional matter at all times.  Don't become friends with any clients especially males and don't give him any reason to question you.

Trust is built over time.   The best books I ever read on relationships is "Getting the love you want"  and "Keeping the Love you Find" by g*y Hendrickson.

I would also suggest you get counseling and you both get counseling individually too.

When someone reacts so strongly about something it is usually a projection of early childhood insecurities and unmet needs.  He is trying to recreate something that happened in the past and continue to prove that he is not good enough or whatever it was for him so he is creating this whole thing to get between you and prove that women will leave him.

There could almost be some kind of support group for partners of massage therapists.

Answer 7

I'm not sure why you are asking this in alternative medicine, but you are basically correct.  For those of us who routinely deal with naked or semi naked people, there is no sexual content at all. It is just anatomy, and it is just part of the job.

Mind you...after a day of examining withered old ladies, it does brighten the day a little if a young hottie comes in...we're only human after all.

Answer 8

Sounds like your husband has some major insecurity, which unfortunately for you only seemed to come to light after the wedding. My advice is, if you love your job, don't let anyone stand in the way of what you do, which is helping people! Be proud of your work and let the chips fall where they may.

Answer 9

Your husband had no problem with it until you got married, right? Yes, he's jealous. He should know, first hand, that it is just a job. If he knew what you did before you married he should be okay with it now. It's no different than being married to an OB/GYN. The world NEEDS good people in those fields! I think you should try to find a way to reassure him, but I don't think you should give in to his jealousy or insecurity. It will most likely breed more problems, not less, if you cater to it now. He needs to get over it and trust you. He did before you married--nothing should have changed. (Probably the only thing that has really changed is that he's gotten closer to you, hence more vulnerable--this is why he is having a problem now...)

Point out that you support him and trust him in HIS chosen career--and he needs to be able to do the same.  Good luck!! You're gonna need it! lol

Answer 10

hmmm, my bf did the same thing!  He had never had a massage before he met me (during massage school), and now he gets upset when I have male clients come to the house.  So, I went and opened my own office about 15 miles away.  Works much better now.  

And yes, I touch naked bodies for a living.  I think I might put that on a tee shirt some day......

Answer 11

Yes this is ridiculous.

I am not married but if i was in a relationship where my partner demanded I no longer see female clients I would end the relationship.

I wouldn't want to loose considerably more than 1/2 my income because of someones unfounded insecurity.

Aside from that i don't like to be told what to do.....

This is a big thing and i expect most people would be more willing to compromise so if your husband wont change his attitude you may need to change occupation if you don't want to give him the off.

Someone touching you with the intent of intimacy feels very different from someone touching you with the intent of examination and treatment.

Skep doc is right, we are only human and occasionally cant help admire the physical appearance of nice young hotties but as soon as you get your hands on a patient it is just work and the pleasure you get from it is making the patient feel better!

Since I qualified I don't often ask my patients to undress unless i need to see a structural change such as a step deformity in an acromioclavicular ligament sprain (showing how severe it is). Most things can be felt with palpation through clothing.

Why? because its easier. Even though everyone knows it is just work and we've seen it all before people are generally more comfortable with their clothes on.

Interestingly I've noticed old ladies will quite happily stand in front of you naked baring mastectomy scars etc and all... (Every osteopathic student will have a story where they walked back into the treatment room and found themselves saying "I did say undress just down to your underwear didn't I?') Younger people can be really shy.

I suspect this is because old ladies have usually undergone medical procedures (like child birth) which strip them of all dignity and no longer care...