In your opinion, how would you handle a Grandparent adoption?

Question

My father asked me yesterday if I would allow him to adopt my son. He said it's for his financial well-being. He would receive a SSI check for almost one thousand dollars and a check from the military plus his college tuition would be paid, and he would receive a check for going to college. My thing is .... what if I make a decision, and they (my parents) go against it, and tell my son something entirely different, KNOWING that I told him not to do something? I know that I would have given up my parental rights, but this is only for his financial well-being. (I am pregnant w/ my 2nd child, and my son is a teenager) What would you do in this situation? Serious answers only. (I am thinking hard and strong about this, because I don't want to make the wrong decision.)

Answer 1

I would need  to ask a few questions first before actually stating my opinion as it is not clear in the question.

1. Has your son been living with your parents and  have they had temporay legal custody through the court system?

2. Is your son's  father involved  in his life and would he also be willing to sign off his rights?

3. Does your son have a case worker?

*I would think hard and long on this before making any decision.   Speak to an attorney.   If all the above answers are yes and you decide to procede ask about Open adoption and have everything spelled out.  

Also social security and the military will be involved if you dad adopts and adds him, so there will be many more questions for them and if they find anything fradulent, I  don't know what the penaties will be

Answer 2

Have you asked your son his thoughts on this? I am legally adopted by my nan and had a great life but the reasons for this have forever been hidden from me and they both have a different story to tell. I dont think I will ever get to the bottom of the reason but I do know I still see my mum and although we dont have a mother daughter relationship I still care for her.

The fact you are considering this for your sons sake shows you are being very brave and shows how much you think of his welfare.

Answer 3

I dont think I would do it because you never know what could happen.. What if....You and your father get in a fight he could actually take your child, and you wouldnt be able to see him anymore. Or if (hope this doesnt happen) something happens and he has to go into the hospital, you would have no say on if he gets medication or life support...its your decision. I just know I wouldnt do it even if i were paid a million dollars, you just never know what could happen.. good luck with your decision.

Answer 4

Tell him yes, I wish my parents would do that for me, you get to see your child whenever you want and it beats having your children adopted by a stranger.

Answer 5

If you want to parent your teenage son then do not give him up. Once you give him up you do not have the right to tell him what to do and have to respect what his adoptive parents tell him to do. Have you considered giving up your second child for adoption? If you are having financial difficulties is a new baby something you can handle? Giving your second child the opportunities in life you can't afford through adoption you will be helping it out and your son at the same time. Without the financial strains of a new child your son will be better off.

Answer 6

It sounds fishy to me, I'm sorry.  If I were well off and wanted to help with a grandchilds education, I'd just come out and pay for it, not demand the child be given over to me in return...  And there's just something wrong with adopting a child for money.

Answer 7

DON"T DO IT. you love your son. and your dad only wants him for his selfish needs your dad can do it by himself you son dousn't want to go w/ them he just wants to be loved and cared for by you!

Answer 8

This is a very difficult question!  It sounds like your son would benenfit in many ways if this plan were carried out, especially regarding his education.  But I think that it depends a lot on the relationship your son has with his grandparents.  Is there real, genuine love on both sides?  Do they "spoil" him, or would they be able to offer appropriate discipline and guidance when necessary?  I am guessing that they are over 65, since your son would receive SSI if they adopted him.  Are they in sufficiently in good health, with all their faculties, to devote themselves to guiding your son through the teen years?  And how will your son feels if he learns that you gave up your parental rights to his grandparents for a financial reason?    

I think that if your son is a teenager, it might be a good idea to lay all these cards out on the table, and ask him how he feels about this plan BEFORE making a decision.

Answer 9

DO'T LET YOUR PARNETS TELL YOU WANT TO DO. IF YOU CAN TAKE CAN OF YOUR CHILDREN THEN YOU KEEP THEM WITH YOU. IF THEIR WANT TO HELP THAT IS OK. DON'T GET UP YOUR CHILD BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS WANT THE CHILD.THATS NOT RIGHT.THAT CHILD WILL HATE YOU WHEN HE GETS OLDER. HE WILL FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T LOVE HIM.AND THAT YOU DON.T CARE. LET YOU PARENTS HELP WITH SCHOOLING OR HELP WITH HIM OR THE NEW BABY. IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO GET YOU CHILD A GOOD LIFE,THEN JUST DON'T GIVE IN. KEEP YOUR CHILD.

Answer 10

No, I think it's a bad idea. It will teach your son to connive and cheat a system with something as basic as parentage.  Your Dad apparently has issues with morality.  Do you really want to teach your son that?

Your son would become your parent's son and your brother and you have no rights.  Your son has other ways to get through college that don't involve cheating the government and your son.  If your parents are well off, as you say, then they can afford to help in ways that don't involve taking him away (which they can do if you give your rights away).

Answer 11

I think you really need to consider this carefully.  It is good that your parents want to ensure the financial well being of your son, but you are right that adoption is very serious.

Apart from the obvious financial implications what about the practicality of the situation, will you be able to sign his permission slips for school as you are no longer legally tied to him.  Also if something happens to you where does that leave him, financially if you do not have a will it could be difficult.