In your opinion, which is more damaging for a growing child, physical or mental abuse by parents?

Question

I would like others opinions that have experienced either. I personally think that psychological abuse is most damaging of the two bad things marginally. I grew up with a mother who put her needs before mine daily. She encouraged others to abuse me mentally in the most horrible ways such as calling me names, constant criticism, allowing an ex in the house I left so he could harm me, allowing her partner to psychologically abuse me for years. How do you get over this and carry on without a damaged mind in your opinion?

Answer 1

Depends on the person.  Some people survive physical abuse and go on, stronger.  Same with mental abuse.

Others are just shattered by either ordeal.  It's a case-by-case thing.  Each individual.

Sounds like you are holding on to the past.

Answer 2

By FAR  it is the mental abuse. We can heal from the physical, but sometimes we never heal from the mental.

I am so sorry... you can heal somewhat in time, but it takes getting away from the source. Even if you have to call CPS yourself. It is sometimes better to be placed somewhere outside the home (perhaps with a relative like a aunt, uncle, or grand parent if possible), than to continue with the mental abuse from persons that we expect should love and protect us.

I have found that even if you are in a foster home and they are mentally abusive, it doesn't hurt as badly, you can even ignore it. So do what is best for you, for your own PEACE of mind. Good luck and wish you the best!

Answer 3

Both types of abuse are bad. They can twist your self-esteem so far out of whack, you may feel you'll never find it. It can steal your dreams or you ability to plan or set goals. All because, the threat of "failure" is looming over your head. You can end up not being able to trust anyone or trusting the wrong people too much. Psychical abuse can cause your personality to fracture, cause disassociation, an inability to feel what's real and what's not.. Also there is always the possibility that  the behaviors can be handed down to your own children.  I grew up in a very difficult family as well. And I could go on and on about the effects that linger, but you probably know. It has taken years and years of counseling work, medication, personal work on my arts and writing, and observation:watching how families really function, not perfectly, but with moments of things like forgiveness, intimacy, allowing space, not violating or demeaning another human being. It takes a lot of work, and a strong desire to know the truth and want to be well. I don't know if you ever completely recover, but with good support groups and faith, a lot can be accomplished. I raised three children, on my own, and they did not suffer as I did. And they  have done very well, much better than mom. I wish you luck on your journey. It's a rough one but you've been thru the worst part, and the rest depends on your desire to be a good, strong and healthy human being. Moth

Answer 4

First, I want to tell you that I am sorry to hear about your history with your mother.  It always makes me sad when I learn that someone grew up in an abusive environment.

Personally, I did not experience physical or mental abuse, but I do have some knowledge about abuse:

Yes, there is a certain amount of mental abuse which accompanies physical abuse.  And then there is a whole debate going on now on what constitues physical abuse vs corporal punishment.  

Any extreme of physical abuse or neglect can and often does result in an antisocial personality disorder.  The more severe and more chronic the abuse or neglect, the greater the likelihood of this type of personality.

Inconsistent and/or double messages and downright hate by the primary caretakers directed at a child results in all kinds of other personality and / or affective disorders.  The more extreme and chronic the mental abuse, the greater the likelihood of these disorders taking root and the symptoms persisting throughout the lifespan.  Of course, there are mitigating factors which might lessen the impact of mental / emotional abuse including the genetics of the personality, supportive figures in the child's life to whom he/she can bond, life's circumstances and intervention by caring adults and/or caseworkers.

Some people are able to overcome the symptoms or the residual effects of an abusive childhood with effort and some others require on-going mental health treatment in the form of medication and therapy.

Answer 5

yes, u r right psychological abuse hurts more than physical. But each n every physical abuse directly hit on their mental situation.

For children.

they don't understand any direct mental abuse, they don't or least harmed by comments, but if the parents start bitting, they directly collects all such memories for forever....

Answer 6

who knows. either way it cant be healthy for the child

Answer 7

i would say that mental abuse is far worse because it is very hard to prove it to anyone so they don't take you seriously. also because physical abuse i think toughens you and makes you stronger both inside and outside, but mental abuse just makes you feel terrible about yourself.

Answer 8

  In my opinion that's kind of like asking if it hurts more to break your right arm or your left arm.

Answer 9

Both.

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Answer 10

I as you do think psychological abuse is far worse than physical.  I think you are very self aware.  So with that I say you have already healed yourself.  You know that you are better than your upbringing, that those around you did not dictate who you are.  the weak peaple who raised you did not deminish who you are.  Good on ya.

Answer 11

I think they are equally bad. Most of the time people that are being physically abused are being mentally abused as well. I think it also depends on the age that the abuse occurs.

Answer 12

I think you are already carrying on / getting over it by identifying why you have issues (whatever they are) . This question alone verifies that. As long as you recognize what is wrong from your past then do everything possible to not repeat the same behavior....you conquered your demons and made the world a better place.

As far as one abuse being worse than the other.....is impossible to answer! It all depends on that particular child's person, that child's life and everything involving it. Also that particular child's capacity for abuse. Is the child already genetically ****** up so that any form of negativity can completely tear them into a psychosis? stuff like that needs to be considered when trying to answer you question.......

Answer 13

In a child growing both in body and in mind  abuse can be life altering, no matter what form it presents itself.

Children who resive mental abuse will carry low self esteem and deppression around with them for some time after the abuse has stopped. It can and most likely will damage the child for life. Mental abuse can lead to eating disorders, drug abuse and so may other horrible other things.

Where as physical abuse will affect a child BOTH mentaly and physicly. Violent teens are most likely the spawn of physicly abused children.

Both of the are very damaging, but because physical abuse affects you mentaly as well i'd have to say that physical abuse is much more damaging to a child  

Answer 14

both...

Answer 15

both, anyway, im still studying for the degree of psychology..(^_^)

Answer 16

Physical abuse is always accompanied by mental abuse.

When someone is physically abused, it is not only their body that gets hurt.  They suffer horrible mental post traumatic stress, anxiety, and nightmares from the physical abuse.  Also, most physical abusers are also mental abusers.

On the other hand, Mental abuse alone can cause physical damage from the psychological stress.  Stress-related diseases such as heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, headaches, etc can result from mental abuse.  Medical research is seeing a direct link between diseases and stress. Some estimates say 40 - 80% of all visits to doctors may be directly related to stress.

In terms of how long the damage lasts, mental damage usually takes much longer to heal than physical damage.  However, in extreme cases, physical abuse results in permanent injury or death.  Physical abuse causes a quick or death whereas mental abuse takes the years off your life in a less direct and more subtle way.

In conclusion, physical abuse accompanies mental abuse and vice versa.  The two are inseparable due to the mind-body connection we all have.

Forgiving is the only way to let go of abuse.

Answer 17

both is very damaging. physical pane can cause mental issues.

Answer 18

psychological abuse

experience

Answer 19

It's almost impossible to suffer physical abuse without the abuser verbally abusing you, so I would say physical abuse.You get both with that. All you can do is have as little to do with your family as possible and surround yourself with people who care about you. When you tell people about it, they don't care or don't want to hear about it or don't believe it.

Answer 20

Both are similar as physical abuse also leads to mental abuse.

Answer 21

both

Answer 22

mental abuse

Answer 23

Physical abuse, as a child, you look to your parental figures as a sort of mirror. If she's feeling sad, you think it reflects on something you did. If she's happy, then you'll have a sudden blithe within you.

Physical abuse leads to mental abuse because when a child is attacked by their parental figure, they feel rejected and shamed, because you think it projects on your behavior. You start blaming yourself, as seeing yourself as the "problem". As we get older, that self loathing is dormant in our sub conscience (even though consciencely, you see yourself as a proud person), showing up when you're vulnerable to a circumstance in which you CAN blame yourself, while for others they act out on it. This leads to self abuse, mentally and physically. Whether its a low self esteem or cutting yourself, or even acting out(murder, abuse) on other people(childrens, people, strangers)  because you don't know how to properly act our your emotions other than the way you experienced it as a child by your parental figure, abuse. So as you can tell, shame and abuse is contagious.

Same with mental abuse, you feel rejection and shamed, and it may lead to something physical. Cutting, suicide, murder, etc.