Inappropriate things said in front of son

Question

I currently have an arrangement to meet my ex at the shops twice a week so he can see has 4 months old daughter that I am still breastfeeding. When I meet him he always touches me and tries to kiss me when Im not looking. Last week he told me I could not take our daughter to my Dads because he didnt want him touching her up. My Dad has never done anything like this to anyone. My ex is abusive and controlling and I am worried about what my 11 year old is witnessing. I dont want to leave son at home alone and my ex can only meet after work when school is finished.What can I do ?

Answer 1

You need to get a lawyer and have a custody agreement with a judge. That way you can agree on a meeting place and arrangements that cannot be changed. I know it sucks, but formal arrangements do tend to work out better and you both have some say. Good luck!

Answer 2

Grow a backbone, girl!! The next time you meet this "winner", you let him know that his advances are unwelcome, and you will phone the authorities if he continues. If you dont want your son to hear even that, find someone to sit with him. You certainly dont want your son to get the idea that if advances are unwelcome, its still okay to touch!! Come on!

Answer 3

Abusive and controlling?  How about NOT visiting him?  Not even in public places if he's obviously still trying to inappropriately touch and kiss you.  Arrange supervised visits for him with his child.  You shouldn't be the one supervising though.  In other words, contact a lawyer.

Answer 4

I am concerned, too.  I would do everything I could to get visits legally stopped.  I am not a lawyer and I only have a little information about your situation, but I would suggest you seek legal help.

It would be great if you could find a place for your son to be during these visits.  Can any friends or relatives help?  What about your Dad?  If there is no choice but to bring him, I would just calmly explain that you don't approve of your ex's behavior (noting specific, negative things that the boy witnessed) and that you hope you can all stop seeing him soon.  Go ahead and be honest that it is up to a judge.

I am worried about your daughter's future.  I hope she never has to have unsupervised visits with this man.  I think she is in real danger.  Where in the world would your ex get the idea that your Dad would "touch up" his four-month-old granddaughter.  Unless he has seen evidence, it takes a sick mind to even think of that.  He is probably the one who is planning it.

Answer 5

All you can do is talk with a lawyer to consider your options.  If you really feel your child may be in harms way you should report it.  Unfortunately, you have no control over what is said in front of your children when you are not around.  All you can do is be an open and honest parent and lead your children by example.

Answer 6

He's the one acting inappropriately.  He needs to grow up and realize you aren't going back to him and that since the child is dependent on you that you can take her to see her grandparent. If he wants to take this to court, he can, but he'll look stupid. Otherwise, he can do nothing about it.