Independent/Private Adoption - Please read if you have DONE this.?

Question

Hi all and thanks for reading. I would like to hear how your independent/private adoption went. (Independent is adoption without an agency). How long did it take, how much did it cost, what did you provide for the mother, how did you "network". Thank you.

Answer 1

We networked through adoption attorneys. So ultimately, after about 6-9 months the birth mother found us. I don't remember the total cost but I know it was less than 10k.

That included lots of counseling for us and the birth mother, some living expenses for the birth mother and attorneys.

Answer 2

Well, my private adoption went like this:

1) The independent agent who facilitated the adoption never counseled me on any options other than adoption.

2) My first opportunity to speak with a social worker about my "choice" to place my son for adoption occurred on the day I was discharged from the hospital (3 days after my child was born.)

3) When my 15 minutes with the social worker were up, "my" attorney (hired by and paid for by the independent agent and prospective adoptive parents) picked me up from the hospital and took me to the court house where I signed papers relinquishing my first born child. "My" attorney never bothered to ensure that I got copies of those legal documents.

Good luck "networking" to get a kid fast and cheap, but beware of one pissed off first-mom when she realizes how she and her baby were treated.

Oh yeah, and the process was pretty d**n fast - my head is still spinning 20 years later. Incredibly unethical!!!