Indian weddings aren't they a little too self indulgent?

Question

I was lamenting that it is outrageous that weddings cost 20k in the U.S. when an Indian scoffed and said that it was more like 100k in India. She seemed quite proud of the fact too. With so much poverty and just the pure gawdiness of it isn't it a little embarassing? I am embarrassed at the U.S. and India seems worse. I understand getting together with family. If my wife had talked about spending money like that on our wedding I would not have married her. I would not want her to be half of our children's moral compass. I am sorry I work with many Indians and this seems so grotesque and out of character. What am I missing?

Answer 1

For one thing, the cost of conducting a wedding in India is far cheaper than compared to the U.S., so the figure of 100k is grossly exaggerated.  This is based on the fact that all goods are cheaper in India compared to the U.S., and most of the cost associated in the U.S. to have a wedding is booking a banquet hall and catering.  Most weddings in India are conducted outside, reception included, or at someones house.  Catering as well is far cheaper, and associated entertainment.

The Indians who spend lavishly on their weddings are the more wealthier ones as well.  Its a status symbol, and the more you can pump money in, the more people apparently thing highly of you.  I agree, its something that most Americans don't do, but on the other hand Americans have other ways of showing off their wealth like buying cars, clothes etc.  To entertain others at your child's wedding is just an Indian persons way of also demonstrating their social standing.

Answer 2

I completely agree with the first answerer...."The Answerer".......Even I agree with whatever he Edited....He is absolutely right......

shame on u Vikaas........go n live in USA then....

Answer 3

Its a cultural difference.

For most Indians, marriage comes only once in a lifetime. Divorce is still alien to Indian culture. So thats basically their excuse to blow up their life savings on a wedding. And at Indian weddings, the more the number of people who show up, the greater is the no. of friends and contacts you have, or so goes the general belief. And its got a lot to do with flaunting cash, or in other words, keeping ahead of the Joneses.

Would you believe most Indians still go for arranged marriages, where the bride and groom hardly know each other before their marriage? And actually, they don't decide to get married or when or how to get married, their parents call all the shots. Plus, ostentatious amounts of money are transferred by the bride's family to the groom or his parents as dowry, another practice that continues to this day. And again, the higher the dowry amount and/or greater the amount of gold jewellery worn by the bride on her wedding day, the more highly  people will think of them or so goes the general belief. Not just the bride's family, even the groom's family takes pride in letting others know that their son fetched so high a price in the matrimonial market.

And all this when 40% of Indians are starving in the remotest interiors of India. Welcome to India.

EDIT: I disagree with Vikaas below that the costs associated with a wedding are limited to food and catering. Vikaas seems to overlooking the fact that the dowry paid is seen as part of the total marriage expenses. US$ 100,000 works out to approximately Rs. 40 Lacs or INR 4 million.  When, as rightly pointed out, that a car is also usually given away as a wedding gift, there is no way a figure of 100k can be termed exaggerated. What about the dowry? In developed states like Kerala, it would cost atleast INR 2.5 million in dowry for a doctor-groom. And that is at the lower end of the scale. For specialist doctors/surgeons, it would cost more than twice the amount stated above. Sure, in the US they don't believe in this, so the dowry amount would not be included in the wedding expenses, but over here in India that too is a vital part of the marriage ceremony, so in no way can that be discounted. Either Vikaas is out of tune with reality or he has no idea what the dowry rates are today. But what Vikaas said is partly true. Weddings are conducted at houses only when they can't afford to rent a marriage hall that has a seating capacity of 200-500.

Answer 4

It's all about culture. Weddings are mostly paid for by the parents, so the wedding is sort of expected to be lavish...it's like a gift to the bride and groom. Also, the average middle class spends 50 - 70 K, and upper middle class may spend close to 100 K. Plus, there are more events at Indian weddings. There's the actual wedding, the food (normally for around 400-500 people), the huge resort or marrigae palace for the dinner, the gifts (most usually, a car), and tons more! Overall, it's just tradition and it's expected.

Answer 5

you are right , indian weddings are show offs think of those people who are not well off or who can not afford fancy weddings for their daughert what happens to them i know many families who couldnt afford lavish weddings and as consequense there girls remain unmarried

we as a society should discourage this show off and false sense of achievement

if you help a poor person that will give you immense pleasure rather wear a diamond set or disigner clothes

societies where pelple are not well educated always get sense of acheivement in material things