Individual Adoption?

Question

I have been reading up on adoption and the costs... I read that if I were to meet a birthmother looking for an adoptive family and she agreed to letting me adopt the baby when he/she was born, then we would contact a lawyer and go from there. That would eliminate agency costs..... anyone know anything about this and if so how do you go about finding this type of birth mother? You don't just bump into people at the mall saying "Would you be willing to adopt my child?"

Answer 1

You read correctly.  LOL about meeting people at the mall!  There are quite a few ways to meet birthmothers.

1. Tell everyone you know that you're interested in adopting!  Personal recommendations are great, and free.

2. Subscribe to parentprofiles.com.  You'll need to have a homestudy first.

3. Visit the local crisis pregnancy center(s) and let them know that you are willing to meet with anyone who is considering adoption for her unborn baby.

Best of luck to you and your family!

Answer 2

I would suggest you first meet with some attorneys to learn about the laws in your state, and about their fees for a directed adoption...some charge much less for adoptions if they don't have to do the "matching" work. Also, in some states it is illegal not to use an agency, or to directly advertise/solicit for adoption. There are laws regarding expenses you can pay and how you can pay them. There are laws in certain states about the expectant moms need for independent counseling and attorneys (which she should have as a matter of conscience and ethics even if not legally required).

Be sure the attorney you choose knows the Interstate Compact requirements as well in case you and the expectant mom are in different states.

You will also need to get a homestudy done, so find a homestudy only program in your area.

The next steps you can/should take are dependant on your state laws, so I will wait to answer on that. You can take a look at some of the independant sites like Parent Profiles, http://www.parentprofiles.com as well

Answer 3

I'm sure your heart is in the right place, but this is how people get scammed.  If you want to adopt, go through a respectable agency or through your local child welfare'protection agency.

The suggestions of places that other people gave are good, and you may have luck there, who knows!  Honestly, I've seen some people so desperate that they put classified ads on sites like craigslist and kijiji!  But beware!!!! there are people who are sick enough to scam and take advantage of the desperateness of those who want to adopt.

Answer 4

go ahead and adopt just think you are giving some poor kid who has no family a second chance at a normal life dont worry about how much it costs

my parent adopted me when i was 2 and 2 years later they adopted my blood sister

i thank god every day for blessing me with such a loving mom and dad

Answer 5

I have seen ads in newspapers, magazines, and online where prospective adoptive parents "introduce" themselves to potential birth parents.

The other common way is to let everyone around you know that you are interested in adopting.  I have seen it happen a few times that a friend's mother's boss has a niece that is pregnant and thinking about adoption.  You'd be amazed at how often word of mouth can come up with leads, even though they don't always work out.

Answer 6

We adopted our first child through an agency and decided with the second one to do it on our own.  The reasons are many; cost, pressure from the agency, we did it once already so we knew how things worked.

So we found a company that did home studies only and hired them.  Then we used Parentprofiles but went through two failed adoptions, one being a scam.  Then we were put in contact with a couple moms who were considering us because they knew someone that knew us.  

Adoption is a very difficult thing to go through, even if you work with an agency.  It is emotionally hard and financially hard.  Yes, doing it on your own can be cheaper but you have to know what you are doing, what to look for, what questions to ask, etc.  You will spend a lot of money on the attorney.  With our two failed adoptions we spent 5000.00 each on them which we will not get back.  But in the end, what you get, a child to love, it is all worth it.  

Oh - also, if you hire an agency to help you you can still get scammed, it happened to my friend.  Or they can change their mind after the baby is born.  This can happen if you go through an agecny or not.  

Feel free to email me if you want to chat more.  Good luck!

Deanna

Answer 7

There are lawyers who deal specifically with this - it is typically done as an open adoption.  Your best bet is to do a search online for your area to see who is listed.  You could also check in the newspaper to see if anyone has a listing (or in the back of parenting magazines) or with your local planned parenthood to see if they have any leads for you.  You could also list in the paper that you're looking and see what kind of response you get but be careful!  Best of luck!

Answer 8

Big caution warning flags pop up when I read this question.  If you go this route, there is a great chance the match with an expectant mother could become coercive.  Take time to read this study about protecting the rights of birthparents before deciding to go this route.