Infant's f******n was forced back, now what?

Question

We decided not to circumcise my son for various reasons. We are comfortable and happy with our decision, so this isn't about that.

First, some background on uncircumcised penises (since a lot of people are uninformed). The f******n should never be forced back. There is a protective membrane under it that will dissolve on it's own, usually by age 5 (but sometimes not until age 14). The tip of the f******n on an infant is only large enough to allow for the passage of urine. Eventually, the child can pull the f******n back. He should be the first person to do this, and it should not be painful.

Our son is now 3 months old. He had a catheter inserted today for an (unrelated) medical procedure. The doctor forced back his f******n, which tore both the membrane and the f******n. He then scraped away the smegma (a natural occurring antibacterial wax that prevents infection, should be left alone until the f******n retracts naturally). He brought us back to the room, showed us what he had done, and lectured us on how we should have been doing this all along.

He was very very wrong.

I pointed out the tiny rip in the f******n, and the doctor had to consult another doctor. He returned and told us that we need to leave the f******n alone.

Our son is now in a great deal of pain. Depending on how his p***s heals, the tears may cause adhesions to form which will result in him needing surgery when he reaches puberty. The formation of scar tissue will might also result in surgery. Breaking the membrane put him at a high risk of infection.

I'm very angry, and I feel like I failed to protect my child. I never would have imagined that I should have had to inform a doctor not to touch his f******n.

We are giving our son liquid tylenol (double checked the dosage with his primary care doctor), and warm baths. What else can we do? Has this happened to anyone?

Would you seek legal action? I don't want a huge lawsuit. I don't want compensation. But I am so angry I can hardly see straight. I don't think this was fair to my son. What would you do?

Here is more information on what happened: http://www.nocirc.org/publish/6pam.pdf

Answer 1

I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. I can also relate. When my son was five-months old, an ER tech forced his f******n back to insert a catheter in order to test for a UTI. I was in such a panic at the time because he had a fever of 106 that it did not even occur to me that it was happening. Later on, I realized it. And even now, I could stil cry about it.

The truth is that there is no reason to force it back in order to insert a catheter. If he ever needs to have a catheter again, I would insist that they have someone do it who knows how to do this. My son had to have a procedure done a month after his infection which involved putting in a catheter. I very respectfully told the woman who did it that she was going to have to do it without forcing it back. Thankfully, she was very nice about it. It took longer, which sucked, but she did get it in there just fine.

As far as what to do now, I would call nocirc. The woman that I spoke with there a couple months ago was VERY nice. And very informed. I get the impression that she is the one who generally answers the phone. I think that she might be able to give you some good info on the possibility of lasting effects. She might also be able to give you the name of some anti-circumcision doctors in your area.

Good luck with it. My son has not experienced any problems since then, at least not that I can see. Again, so sorry that you had that happen. I know exactly how angry you are right now!

And SHAME on that stupid doctor. Do doctors today pay attention to research??? If there are lasting problems, I would at the very least file a complaint with the medical board. His advice and care are definitely outside the standard of care that he is obligated to follow.

Answer 2

I'm not keen on legal action for things but there would be proper places for you to go that will not cost you money. Put in an official complaint to the hospital or surgery where the doctor works. If this isn't followed through contact your country's medical authority and tell them the situation and ask what rights you have and how you go about making a formal complaint. If all else fails and nothing seems to be getting done, contact the media! Seems to always force things into gear!

Answer 3

I would be very angry and demand my child never be seen by that quack of a doctor again and that he be investigated.  That is horrible, any good Dr would know you don't force back the skin.  

Answer 4

in my opinion the medical profession do more harm than good.  The body is miraculous in that it will usually fix the problem all by itself without the help of some big - ego doctor thinking he can do what he pleases.  Best thing is to just leave him be - I'm sure not too much damage has been caused.  Don't bother with the peeling it back and applying vaseline - that is just another foreign unnatural substance the body will have to contend with.

I would definitely look at legal action - if only to cause a fuss so they would learn and not cause this problem for another boy.

Answer 5

I am sickened by the amount of people that sue these days, but oh my GOD! I hope you sue his *** off!. Complete incompitence.

Your poor son...get him some money, he will need it...

Answer 6

My oldest son's f******n was forced back in the ER when he was 2 months old.  When I was finally able to talk to his pediatrician two days later, he told me to just leave his p***s alone and let it heal.  Everything was okay until another doctor forced his f******n back at his 18 month checkup.  I don't know if he has permanent damage (scar tissue, nerve damage?) that might effect him as an adult.

You need to have your son checked out by a f******n-friendly doctor who knows what he's doing and report that other doctor!  Call the hospital and find out how to file a complaint.  Follow up on it to make sure they're taking some kind of action.  I sure as h**l wish I'd done that.

I hope your son's okay.

Answer 7

This doctor is an idiot, I would seek legal action. He obviously did not know what he was talking about, my husband is not circumcised and we decided when and if we have a son he will not be either, and b/c of this I am going to make sure the doctor doesnt do anything stupid like this. I found out about the whole f******n thing being attached until a later age...my husband didnt even realize this, then he said he remebers when he was like 6 he pulled it back and it hurt really bad of course now everything is ok but you get the picture. Good luck, everything will turn out ok

Answer 8

First and foremost it is important to make sure your son's okay, so I would take him to a different doctor to get a second opinion and better advice on how to treat the problem. Definitely get in touch with one of the anti-circumcision groups such as DOC, Nocirc, or Noharmm. They'd have a lot of experience with problems caused by doctors uneducated about the f******n. Their advice would be free and useful.

Then, look into legal action if you wish. You could have a case for medical malpractice by the doctor if it is evident that he was negligent in forcing your son's f******n back. He should have known that a 3-month-old baby's f******n must never be forcefully retracted.

At the very least, file a complaint to the medical center or institution where this happened.

You can't blame this on yourself.

Good luck.

Answer 9

OMG I am so sorry that happened to your little boy. I cannot believe how uneducated even doctors are about perfect, uncut penises. I almost had to go through the same thing. I took my son for a routine checkup and when his Dr. seen that he wasn't circumcised he tried pulling his f******n back. I was like "What are you doing?!" I could not believe that he was doing that. Personally, I would try to find a way to make this man pay for his actions, or at least make sure he's informed so he doesn't do it again to some other child. Demand a sincere apology and suggest he go back to school and that this time pay attention to the part that educates on how to care for or how not to care for uncut penises. As far as whether to leave it alone now or apply the Vaseline. I think that pulling it back to apply Vaseline to the part that he forced back will help prevent adhesion's. Again, I am so sorry. This it not your fault.

Answer 10

i would be talking to a lawyer for sure. and if you dont want compensation then perhaps your lawsuit should be to take away his right to work on infants.

i'm so sorry for what happened to your son.

i dont know if it works the same for infants, but my husband has a bad back and the doctor tells him to take tylenol every 6 hrs and ibuprofein every 4. perhaps you could talk to your doctor about an additional pain medication you could use until his wounds heal.

*hugs* good luck

Answer 11

You are not at fault here... you trusted a health professional and believed that your son would be recieving appropriate care. I would definitely take this further. If you are not interested in compensation then you could just go through the hospital board. But if I were you I would want some reassurance that if there are related issues when he reaches puberty that you will not be out of pocket for any treatment he requires... as well as any emotional issues your son may experience...

I would ask another doctor iwhat amount of the procedure was necessary to have the catheter insertedand also get some more medical advice on how to help your son stay comfortable... there may be some cream or lotion that can be applied directly to help the healing process and numb the area

Above all..... IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!

Answer 12

Sweetie, I don't really have any advice for you.  You've already gotten such great advice here, there's really nothing more to add.  I am inclined toward Neb's answer in that there might be problems with his p***s in the future, and you might find yourself unable to have these problems fixed with insurance due to the "cosmetic" aspect.

It's very sad how ignorant some doctors are, especially those in the US (no offense intended towards Americans), because of the historically high rate of circumcision there.

I'm so sorry this happened to your precious little boy.  You need to seek out a f******n-friendly pediatrician at this point so that you have some solid medical advice to follow from here.

Answer 13

Check this doctor's certification! If he did something harmful you should take him to court, if not only for you also for any other mother who may possibly take their child to see this doctor. He should not be practicing if he does not know what he is doing.

Answer 14

OMG, I would be so mad if that had happened to one of my sons!!! :(

I'm so sorry it happened to your little one. I'm sorry I don't have advice, but you already got some great advice.

I just wanted to send you some virtual hugs and tell you that it is totally NOT YOUR FAULT! This doctor is just a moron and, if you cannot afford a lawsuit, I would at least make an official complaint, he shouldn't be allowed to do more harm.

Good luck, I hope your son is unaffected by all this, poor little one.

Answer 15

I would contact both NOCIRC and DOC (doctors opposing circumcision). There are Lawyers who specialise in circumcision/f******n care issues and they may be able to take your case probono if they feel there are ground- or on contiginecy. I know you say you don't want compensation, but if your son grows up and needs later surgery, the compensation from a lawsuit would cover any treatment that needs to be performed. If it were me, I'd put it away in a fund marked specially for my son and use it to fix any resulting injuries. Unfortunately p***s problems such as those caused by forced retraction are sometimes considered "cosmetic" by insurance, so it would be nice to have that money stashed away in case it is denied. If you don't use it, give it to your son in the form of a college education or a trust to make up for the harm that was done to him.

If you don't want to sue, at the very least I would file a formal complaint with both the institution where this occured AND the state medical board. The fact that the second doctor told you to leave the boys f******n alone indicates that he may be willing to back you up that retraction was contraindicated (which it obviously was, but it is always good to have an "expert" witness the incident).

In the future, I would set down the guidelines on p***s care with any and all doctors BEFORE you even undress your son. Unfortunately many doctors still do not know about proper care of an intact boy. This will help protect him. You can also present a no-retraction agreement to your family doctor and any doctor who might be alone with your son (like say, for surgery). Have them read it and sign it and keep a copy on file. I believe both DOC and NOCIRC offer sample agreements.

I'm sorry this happened to you, I hope your son feels better soon. -Neb