Infertility and Adoption?

Question

My husband and I recently found out he may be infertile. We have been trying for a year. The last doctor visit said he had no sperm at all, but they are going to do one re-test. I'm beginning to think about adoption. I am 23, we both have great jobs and I will be a stay at home mom within a year. It is my passion and purpose in life to be a mother. I'm looking for people that know about adoption or have adopted to give advice. Thanks.

Answer 1

i'm sure if you adopt you'll bring the child into a loving home. good luck and i think that's a great idea.

Answer 2

It takes a while to make the transition from wanting a biological child to wanting an adopted child.  A great book on the subject is Adopting After Infertility, by Patricia Irwin Johnston.  The Adoption Reader is also a great collection of essays.  Do some reading, do some research, consider talking to a counselor.  Adoption can be a long and frustrating process, but more certain of results than fertility treatments.  Most adoptive parents I know (me included) say that though they still feel some sadness about not having a biological child, they would NEVER change a thing now that they have their adopted child(ren).

Answer 3

We chose not to pursue fertility treatments, but to adopt. Fertility treatments & testing are often costly & not nearly as successful as many people think. (Many clinics limit the patients they accept to improve their success rates.) For the cost of 1 round of IVF (our only real option), we can do 1 private, international adoption or fund a year of college for a child we have. Besides, IVF requires dozens of shots & blood draws over the course of a month. Once we considered all these factors, it wasn't even a debate.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

(((HUGS))

My husband and I went through male factor infertility (varicocele) before we conceived our miracle baby boy.

I want to encourage you to visit this site:

www.hannahsprayer.org - Its for Christian women facing infertility. It's a wonderful site, they even have a retreat every year.

As for adoption there are many choices!!! Many couples go straight to foreign adoption, but domestic adoption is not out of the question.  Don't forget you can also foster-adopt.  KUDOS to you for wanting to adopt!!!! You'll be a great mommy!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, since you are healthy, you can even consider embryo adoption?  Try this address:

http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakeadopt...

http://www.embryodonation.org/

I would try traditional adoption first though.

Hang in there and never give up!!!!!

Hang in there

Answer 5

Adoption is a great option, not just a last resort as someone else said.  First, you need to think about what sort of adoption you would like to do:  domestic or international, age and race of the child, whether you want to go through your state system, foster care, and agency, or an independant adoption where you find your own birthmother. Then,either contact your state, an agency, or an adoption attorney.  Good luck, and feel free to ask if you have any more questions!

Answer 6

My husband is adopted, my niece is from china and 2/3 of my children are adopted from fostercare.  I think my situation is ideal.  These were children lingering in the foster care system and really needed a stable family.  They had a rough start but are turning out to be great kids!

Answer 7

no

Answer 8

Ask your Dr about options. My cousin was told the same thing. Now they have triplets.

Adoption is also a great option when you and your husband get to that point.

Answer 9

I say go for it!  It is a sure way to be a parent!

Look into the type of adoption you may want to pursue.  Go to adoption.org, adoption.com, abcadoptions, or about.adoption.  These are all great websites, and will give you tons of information!

Join some of their forums, and start talking to parents.  You can get adoption counseling about the kinds of adoption available at any adoption agency in the phone book, too.

Good luck to you!  You may be about to embark on a wonderful journey!!

Answer 10

What is your question?

No, I don't regret it. No, there isn't a difference. I can't imagine loving my children anymore than I do. Neither can my spouse.  We love them so very very much. They mean the absolute world to us.

Answer 11

hello, i too have been looking into adoption. I also have expirience and gone thru the same situatons. In my case it was both my husband and my dream to have at least 3 kids.

We spent a few year with no luck and i realized for some reason it was not gonna happen for us. I gave up my happiness to set him free. Free to find and make a life with someone who could give him the children he dreamed of.

Years later i am still trying to add to my family and looking into adoption.   I have a georgus son through the love of god, who saw it within himself to give me a son. And am looking to add to our family and been looking into fostercare to adoption. This is the best and easiest way I have been told to adopt a child without all the overwhelming finances, that i dont have. Foster care children that have been in the system for some time usually are ready to or have already had their parental rights terminated, making it easier to adopt them.

I am reaserching some agencies with hope that my prayers will be answered and there may be that certain child or children waiting for a mommy ready to become part of my family. I have looked up adoptchildren.org and trying other fostercare sites.  

    well, i hope this will give you somewhere to start. Wish you both the best of luck. Some where out there is a boy or girl who dreams of you. Again, good luck!!  

                                      Miss Myra

Answer 12

I am an adoptive mother and would be glad to talk to you.  Feel free to email me.

Answer 13

My husband and I were ttc for about 3 years without success, and becoming parents was the most important thing to us in the world. We knew we eventually wanted to adopt anyway, so we decided to go ahead with adoption and not even look into fertility treatments. Personaly for us it was the best decision we ever made.

  

We adopted our first child when I was 25, and our second just 14 months later. (the youngest has been home  for 2 1/2 months) We decided to adopt internationally for many reasons, and both of our boys were born in Korea.

There are many adoption paths to choose from. I'd recommend researching the different types of adoption, choosing which one is best for your family, and then talk to several agencies/ lawyer before moving forward.

Adoption forums can also be very helpful. This agency has forums for those adopting or considering adopting both domestically and internationally.

http://www.bethany.org/

Best of luck to you on your adoption journey!

Answer 14

I understand where you are coming from completely!  My husband and I tried to have children and it just didn't happen.  Looks like it was due to me having an infection called candida.  

Anyway, we decided to adopt and we brought our newborn daughter home in September, I was 23.

We used an agency called Family To Family Adoptions Inc.  They are in Richmond Texas...we are from South Dakota.  They were great to work with, and it cost us about $17,000.  That was much less than many other agencies cost.  

If you do sign on with an agency NEVER pay any money up front accept an application fee which should NEVER be over $500.  I believe that app fee for Family to Family was $150 or some where around there.

With Family to Family, we had to pay 50% when matched with a birthmother and the other 50% when the child was born.  

We were very happy with this agency and we know a few other couples that have adopted through them as well.

Answer 15

Both of my daughters adopted from Russia, but I understand that option has pretty well closed. The second one had all kinds of trouble with an agency stealing their money and being prosecuted for fraud. Babies are difficult to find to adopt, but older children are greatly in need of homes right here in the US.

Best of luck.

Answer 16

I think adoption is one of the most unselfish things. There are so many kids that don't have families. However, the adoption process can be long and costly, especially in the U.S. But so are infertility treatments! Depending on your preferences, it may be easier to adopt a  younger child from  another country. Good luck............

Answer 17

I knew a couple that tried for years to have a baby.  They adopted a girl and after  two years she had a baby girl.  If this is your last  hope, yes go for it.  Love is very precious and sounds like you will be a good mom. I wish you the best.