Infertility......are you thankful?

Question

Infertile parents who have adopted. Have you ever looked at your infertility as a blessing?

Blessing in the sense that if you were capable of having children you may never have adopted your son or daughter?

Answer 1

Well, I haven't adopted, yet - but yes, I do think of my infertility as a blessing in disguise.

I should preface this by saying that our "infertility road" was slightly different than most. We spent our time TTC, and tried quite a few non-invasive procedures, but when they did not work - we chose to not pursue anything more drastic, and turned, instead, to living life as a childless couple - getting to the point where I didn't think I *needed* a baby to complete me, knowing that I was going to be okay whether I was a mother or not. It doesn't mean the desire ever went away - but I got way, way past that desperate need.

I am definitely a believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. My husband and I feel we have a truly blessed life - we're not rich, we're not anything spectacular - but we have a strong marriage, great friends, great family, and simply love our life. And I think this is the best possible place I can be in to be adopting - I'm not trying to fill a hole. We think that we have been blessed, and we want to offer that to a child that needs a home. I think we were meant to adopt from the beginning.

Basically, I feel I have to be thankful for my infertility, because there is not a thing I would change about the last ten years of my life, or my life now. I just know - this is the place I'm supposed to be, and it doesn't do me any good to think about what might have been, or what could have been - I'm just to thankful to be where I am.

ETA: I should add that infertility and TTC unsuccessfully wasn't a cake walk. It was earth-shattering, painful and horrible to go through - I seriously wouldn't wish it on anyone. The part where I'm thankful, and do now look at it as a blessing, is that I got through it, and past it, and refused to let it define who I was (or wasn't).

Answer 2

Today yes.  Several  years ago it was complete and utter agony.

Because it took so long to get here things don't get under my skin like some of my biological parent friend counterparts.  I think I really appreciate this incredible human being who was put in my care and can't imagine life without her.

Answer 3

No I wouldn't say that I'm thankful for my infertility, but I have accepted that it is part of my life.

Our infertility had no bearing on our decision to adopt, as we had always planned too.

I do feel thankful, greatful and even lucky that we will be parents one day.

Answer 4

Finally someone who thinks like I do.  I will have to share my story though , because it is a bit different than actually being infertile.    I was on a certain type of medication, that at the time that my hubby and I were talking about becoming parents- and the doc told me that because of my illness, and also because of the meds I was taking it may be better if I never got pregnant.  So we chose to adopt- and I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that those 2 precious children, now 16 and 19 were meant to be in our family- and I am very thankful for them.

Answer 5

No, I'm not thankful that I'm infertile. I am blessed to have been able to adopt my son, but I don't necessarily connect the two in my head (infertility and the adoption of my son).

Answer 6

I haven't adopted yet either, but I do feel that, as painful as it was to learn, at the age of 16 that:

1. I would always be a "freak" because I would never be "normal" like other girls

2. I would never "develop" or have my period without the help of medications.

3. I would NEVER have children.. period. No medical procedure on earth could enable me to have my own biological children.

Yeah, as "fun" as you can imagine it was to learn all of this suddenly at the age of 16, I do feel that there's a reason for it. I like to think that there's a child out there (maybe not even conceived yet) that is "meant" for me, a child that needs me. And maybe, if I was "normal," I would not be brought to adoption. So, I think that yes, there is a "purpose" in all this, all the pain..everything... I wouldn't call my attitude "Gratefulness," but when I am a mother through adoption I am sure that I will be MORE than thankful and blessed for my children, and wouldn't want to trade them for anyone.

But then again, maybe "infertility is nature's way of dictating who should not be parents, and adoption is stealing."

Answer 7

Yes, I can't imagine giving birth to a more fitting family. In fact, I did have one successful pregnancy but after our most recent adoption in Feb of this year, my husband got fixed. We have decided that if we want to add more children later we will adopt again as that has turned out perfect for us.

Answer 8

Yes i am thankful! I truly believe that we were meant to have our son...whether we conceived him or his birthmother did...God knew he was our son. In our case, God brought him to us thru adoption.

Answer 9

Yes I often feel blessed that our family has grown this way! I was Blessed  to be able to give birth once, but now I am twice blessed to have two beautiful daughters through adoption! I am not sure we would have fostered or adopted if we had not had infertility problems, but now I can't imagine our life with out having loved all of these amazing kids!

God is Good!!

Answer 10

Yes, absolutely.

We would have adopted regardless of our fertility status, but having met my mom and her children and grandchildren, and having seen the host of medical problems the grandchildren have, I am beyond grateful that my genetics were not passed down.

Answer 11

I haven't always been infertile, but became infertile over time. I have children, but due to an accident cannot have anymore and have become remarried because of the accident I have previously mentioned. It was hard to move on with my life and when it came time to think of perhaps expanding my family with my new husband, I came to realize how happy I was to give a someone elses child, who needed me, the best life I could give them! These kids need us, and that is a great cause to aline ourselves with!

Answer 12

I'm not thankful for infertility because I would love to have a child with my husband in addition to the one we adopted together. However I wish I had wasted less time and money on infertility treatment and moved to adoption sooner. Infertility was very stressful for me, and when we decided to adopt I felt I had a burden lifted off my shoulders. Of course adoption can be stressful too because of the waiting, but our adoption went very smoothly with only a few bumps here and there. And we have the perfect child, I'm really thankful for that.