Information on adoption: moms that have given their babies away?

Question

what kind of things are you going through. im 15 and pregnant and im considering adoption but i do want to get all the information i can get before actually doing it. i have really bad depression (very suicidal) so im afraid how i would react to this im on anti depressants (well not anymore obvisouly) so i need to hear from moms out there what are you going through?

Answer 1

im 14 and i have a baby girl. I gave her up but i couldnt live with out her so i got her back. she is know 1 years old and i have to say that i couldnt let another one of my kids up. your kids inspier you. dont give your baby up. you will regret it.

Answer 2

i would be the last person to try and judge or lecture you i was 14 when i became pregnant and gave my daughter up for adoption back then in the 70's it was very hard to be a young single mother and so there wasn't as many choices as to lifestyle and help that are available now but saying this i myself was adopted and couldn't imagine having a more stable and loving relationship that i had growing up with the parents that brought me up the only advice that i can give you is to seek the counsel of someone who can go through all the choices you have regarding your baby and yourself and only then can you do what you consider best for yourself and your baby........GOOD LUCK WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO AND WITH YOUR FUTURE

Answer 3

Alexandra are you in the USA or Another Country ?

I have read your profile and I am ASHAMED of those women trying to *get* your unborn baby.

A person should be able to make a decision WITHOUT heavy pressure from ANYONE.

Do you have a supportive family ? do your parents know you are pregnant ? if so how do they feel about this

If not why haven't you told them ? Are you frightened ?

There are places that you can go for medical help with depression and maybe just maybe you could stay there with your baby whilst you get through the depression.

I advise against adoption in this day and age unless the baby is in danger or an orphan.

Talk to your parents and or a unbiased GP.

And please to all the vultures STOP Trying to take her baby ! by cooercing her to give it up with all these scare tactics

Answer 4

I am not a mother. Nor, have I been one... but my close family went through the exact same situation... my aunt and uncle couldn't concieve, so they adopted a baby from a 16-year old mother.

I think... the second you see the family's face that you're giving your child to, it will all be worth it.

:)

Answer 5

You need support from other women who have been through what you are going through right now.   Y!A? is not an appropriate place for this.   Here is some reading for you, which I hope will help

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

You might want to contact Concerned United Birthparents here: http://www.cubirthparents.org/index.html

There are more birthmothers at OriginsUSA and Girlmom is also a good site for young Moms

Hang in there sweetheart

ETA  Just a note to counter the first answerers bad advice - This is about YOU AND YOUR BABY.  It is not a time to be thinking of prospective adoptive parents feelings at all - you have enough to think about and deal with right now, without any added pressure.  You don't owe your baby to anyone and you don't need to make any decisions based upon guilt that other people can't have kids - that is NOT your problem, sweetie.

Answer 6

In 1972 I gave my daughter up to adoption, I do regret that decision. For 30 years I cried at every birthday, no, not just cried but agonized. I lived a lie, not many people of knew what I had done, I mean I didn't want anyone to know that I had given my baby away, so I lived with guilt and the lie started to eat me alive. When My son was born in 1977, everytime I looked at him, I thought what does she look like, is she safe. I tried so hard to forget she ever happened, not because I didn't love her, but because it just made me sick to think about her. There were even a few years when I had her pushed so far in the back of my mind that it was almost like a dream. My son never knew he had a sister, until I finally found the courage to search, it took a month with some help from a search angel, but once i found her, I had to confess. Both of my children have the same father, as we married in 1973, my bdaughter was 18 months old. I was not coerced into giving her, but I was convinced by my husbands parents and the adoption agency that this was the best thing to do.

I was 17 when I got pregnant. You are so young, I hope your family will give you the kind of support that you need as you make this huge life altering decision. I did not have the support of my family, although if you ask them now, they say oh yes we were there for you. I don't hold a grudge. In 2001  I found my daughter, she was almost 30, I knew that by contacting her, I would either have a relaionship with her or she might tell me to go to h**l and I was prepared for either way. My inlaws were not happy to hear I had searched, they thought we should have just left it alone. I don't know why it took me 30 years, my god, 30 years. It was fear, fear of confessing my secret, fear of what people might say, and fear of her rejecting me as she felt i had rejected her. Sorry to ramble, but no matter how informed you think you are, you can't possibly know how this will affect your life down that road and unless you have no heart, it will affect you for your entire life.

Answer 7

You have so much to live for, and you're not ready to be a mother. There's a win-win-win solution out there, and it's called adoption. It is a win for you, because you get to realign your priorities, focus on your education and build yourself a secure future so that when you're truly ready to be a mother, you'll be the best mother you can be. It's a win for the couple who will raise the baby, because they've probably been trying to have a family or grown their family for years, and you can make another couple's biggest wish come true. Most importantly, it's a win for the baby, because s/he will be raised by parents who desperately, desperately want the baby, and have been screened and are prepared to be wonderful parents and give your baby the best chance at a bright future.

There's a lot of misinformation out there about adoption, and I'm so glad you want to know more. You show a lot of maturity and love for your baby by considering it. Nowadays, open adoption is a popular option -- it allows birth moms to select the baby's parents, so you have a choice in who will raise the baby.

The best thing you could do now is to connect with an organization that specializes in adoption, and ask to speak with a counselor. The counselor might be able to connect you with other birth moms who can tell you what it's like.

Here's one organization to check out:

http://www.adoptionhelp.org/birthmother/

-------------------

Honey, if you follow the link above you'll be able to connect to real birth moms through a reputable agency. You can't trust that someone who posts here is an actual birth mom. They have an 800 number - you should give them a call. :-) Good luck. 1 800 877-OPEN (6736)

Answer 8

Hiya Alex,

Here are blog links to mother's that have lost children to adoption - so you can read their stories -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Especially read -

http://paragraphein.wordpress.com/

http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com/

And don't let anyone talk you into giving this child away because you have had depression.

I've had depression - and I have 3 beautiful daughters.

They are the absolute sunshine in my life.

ETA: and please don't talk to any adoption agencies - they just want your child and they'll tell you whatever they can to get that child from you.

How about - give birth - parent for awhile - then if it's really not working - look at other options then. If you're thinking of parenting - do not surround you with those that will try to talk you out of it.

I'm from Australia - and no pre-birth plans are made.

This is what is best for the child and the mother.

Check out the links given above from Amy and Heather.

Email me anytime if you need - through my profile.

ETA2: links don't seem to be working now - bugger.

Cut and paste the second and third links I gave you.

As for the bigger list of blogs - go to here -

http://     www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index.php

(close up the space between the // and the www)

Then click on 'Links' - down the page - 3rd box from the bottom.

Then click on 'First Parent Blogs'.

If you have probs - I can email you the link.

Answer 9

a 65 model adoptee here.

If you want to talk with a group of natural mothers, please go to this website.

http://origins-usa.org/  These women can help you decide on what it feels like to be natural mother.

If you need to talk please im me.  I will get you the help that you need.

Answer 10

i am a mother of 3 little girls and one son... my little girls are not mine they are my husband and i am adpoting them so it is a legal process... but i conmend you on the adoption well thinking about it you are 15 and i understand all the things that you are going threw... i would say call people in the phone book... nothing is going to compare talking to someone that does this everyday... just remember you are giveing your baby a life it cant have with you.... you are 15 and you are a child... you need to go on with your life and make someone elses life happy. go to collage and then think about a family... now is not the time

Answer 11

I personally would advise nearly any woman to keep their child.  However, if you have issues with depression that other members of your family ALSO have, you may not have the support that you need to raise a child. I would highly recommend that you get counseling before going any further.  Planned Parenthood does offer counseling for free.  Just avoid the Prolife or religious groups because their counseling is very biased (LDS for instance tells all single women that they should give up their child regardless of circumstance).