Insensitive sister-in-law?

Question

My first born son was stillborn when I was 7months pregnant. During that pregnancy I had told my family I wanted to name him Taylor(my Grandads name), but with the grief and loss I thought Gabriel would be a nice name for an angel boy.

Two years later I have another son, who at first I name Taylor, but it’s too painful as that was supposed to be my firstborn’s name. So we name him a similar Tyler.

Fast forward a year and a half my sis-in-law has just given birth to a boy named… Taylor!! Come off it – is she just really, really insensitive or am I silly to think that as it would be too painful for me that family would understand that the name was really off limits? I know it’s just a name, but it meant so, so much to me!

Answer 1

I think she should have come to you about it first. I like the name Jordan for a girl and my sister also likes it. I was married first and for sure thought I would have the first child, well she did and wasn't even married! :( She ended up having a boy though, and because she was first could be the first to pick on a name. I am sure your SIL just likes the name, but just be happy for her. Maybe you can just enjoy the name on her side, and remember the son you almost had on yours. Be happy there are happy healthy little babies in your life. I am still trying for one, and have been for almost two years now. Babies are a blessing, so don't let the name be a thorn in your side... God bless you and sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

i have mixed emotions on this

you named the second  son taylor and changed it,

that statement alone says alot of hurt resides there.

and i would think most would respect that, however the name comes from a higher place.

i believe you said it came from your grandfather.

your brother probably wanted to share that name too.

understand that a name is a name and that you could change

your name and still be you as can your Taylor.

he still loves you,he is with nothing but love now

and someone having the same name wont matter here or on the other side. hold that name in honor of both your son

and your grandfather.

life is too d**n short for such petty things to step in your happiness. love your family, don't get stuck on names

love hearts peace and hugs

RIPxRLWIII

Answer 3

what a *****. ur brother shouldve known not to name his child that after all u went thru. im sry u lost ur first.. congrats on ur 2nd : ]

Answer 4

That baby has two parents; your brother is just as much to blame.  Yes, I think it was horribly insensitive.  They at least could have asked you how you felt about it first.

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I too lost a baby, so I understand how you feel.  The name my husband and I chose for our angel baby is very special to us, and I would be furious if anyone in the family "stole" it.

Answer 5

I don't believe she was being insensitive.  She wanted to honor your grandfather, and it was the choice she made to do it.

Answer 6

Very insensitive, assuming she knows the whole story with your Taylor.

Answer 7

i had a friend with the same situation. Her son died at age 6 and her best friends daughter had a boy and named him braxton after my friends son. she did it as a good thing but it ended up hurting my friend. everytime she had to hear his name it brought the memory of her braxton back up. and that was a very terrible memory. mabe you should talk to your sisterinlaw and let her know how you feel.it couldnt hurt. she probably won't change the name but you can atleast tell her how you feel. sometimes that makes us feel better just to get it off our chest. good luck to you.

Answer 8

Don't just blame the SIL there is also a father. Blame your brother too. Unless of course the SIL is your husband's sister. Yes, it's insensitive and downright cruel. I don't think I could be around them in the future.

Edit-- I would never spend time with her again. She is a hateful, nasty person. Just because she's family doesn't mean she's a good person. Blood may be thicker than water but if a family member is someone I would never pick for a friend then I would keep away.

Answer 9

This all depends if she knows how you feel. If you explained that name would make you uncomfortable and she did it anyway then she is a total b*t*h. But if you did not say anything then it is kind of your fault.

Answer 10

I am sorry for your loss.  I have never lost a baby so I have no idea what you have gone through.

I don't want to sound insensitive but if the name meant so much to you than you should have named the baby Taylor instead of Gabriel.  You will have to work through your issues,

Answer 11

did she know that your first born was supposed to be named Taylor?

Is this typical behavior of her or is this out of character to be so insenstive?

Humans have the gift of speech, communicate with her and get to the truth or you will forever have resentment towards her.

EDIT - what does your husband think?  If you stop contact won't he be resentful or he feels the same way.  It's family so it's a tough call, if it was just a friend I would say never tlak again, but she's family...