Inspiring, funny, or any other good quotes?

Question

I want to cover my rough book next year in all sorts of quotes. I have already got a few that I like but would love more suggestions. I would particularly like some inspiring quotes, or ones that will help me get through the school days! Quotes from books/films are also fine (I already have a few favourites from George Orwell's 1984).

School-friendly please!

Thank-you!

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong except nothing's wrong."

Answer 2

its true hard work never killed anyone but why take the chance

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.'" Jerry Seinfeld

i think i am the special one jose mourhino

Answer 3

Nobody can really say how far the knowledge of a good teacher will impact upon the future of mankind.

I believe that this quote should be written on the teachers board on a daily basis.

Answer 4

Reach for the sky. Even if you miss you'll be amongst the stars.

Answer 5

for evil to flourish, it's only necessary for good men to do nothing...

Answer 6

Type brainyquote.com on your browser.

Answer 7

"I had this parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry." So it died."       -Mitch Hedberg

"Everyone is an atheist about everyone elses' god, I just take it one god further." -Richard Dawkins

"In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are ****** until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely." - Hunter S. Thompson

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Hunter S. Thompson

"Be careful who you pretend to be.. do it long enough and you'll be who you pretend to be." - Unknown

“I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes.” - Jimi Hendrix

“You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like He rushed it.”

(when asked if he tries to get up the same time everyday)-  

"well, you know, I do try to get up." - Jimi Hendrix

"I used to do drugs..  I still do drugs, but I used to too." - Mitch Hedburg

"You know when it comes to racism, people say: " I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green"... Ooh hold on now: Purple or Green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To h**l with purple people! - Unless they're suffocating - then help'em." - Hedburg

"I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,"Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the h**l they were."    - Mitch Hedburg

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying." - Woody Allen

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. " - Woody Allen

"Some guy hit my car, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' . .but not in those words."    - Woody Allen

"I tend to place my wife under a pedestal." - Woody Allen

“We had g*y burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”   -Robin Williams

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein

"If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor." - Einstein

"Pie can’t compete with cake, though. You put candles on a cake, it’s a birthday cake. You put candles on a pie, someone’s drunk in the kitchen." - Jim Gaffigan

"I only dated one asian girl, but she was very asian, she was a panda."

-Jim Gaffigan

“It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.” - Bill Hicks

“I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.” - Bill Hicks

"There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea." - Jim Gaffigan

"There is something dishonest about putting bacon in a salad. Like jogging while you smoke. and it's no longer a salad, it's a hunt for the bacon.

"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours that's relativity." -- Albert Einstein

"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts." --Albert Einstein

"When people older than 10 have imaginary friends, there's gonna be trouble" - Teller

"Religion was the first and worst explanation for the universe." -Richard Dawkins

"Dear God, we payed for this food ourselves, so thanks for nothing."

-Bart Simpson

"I always appreciate it when people attack me instead of my positions- It is a sign of the emptiness of their argument." -Christopher Hitchens

"If complex organisms demand explanations, so does a complex designer." - Richard Dawkins

"h**l, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something."

- Thomas Edison

"20% of all pregancies end in miscarriage. Which would make god the most prolific abortionist of them all." -Sam Harris

"God gave man a head and a p***s, but only enough blood to operate one at a time."   -Robin Williams

"Physics is like s*x. It may yield some practical results, but that's not why we do it."  -Richard Feyman

"I wouldn't want to die twice. It's so boring." -Richard Feyman

"The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiousity has its own reason for existing." - Einstein

"If we knew what we we're doing, it wouldn't be called 'research', would it"  -Einstein

"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Einstein

"The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Every day, the New York Times carries a motto in a box on its front page. "All the News That's Fit to Print," it says. It's been saying it for decades, day in and day out. I imagine most readers of the canonical sheet have long ceased to notice this bannered and flaunted symbol of its  

Answer 8

"u cant teach human to lie"

Answer 9

Even if it's a lie, even if it's a dream, please turn to me. Your smile on a certain day isn't a lie, it's not a dream. But having it turn to me might be my lie, my dream. But the day you call my name, it won't be a lie, it won't be a dream. It's never been a lie, it's never been a dream that I love you.

From Battle Royale by Koushun Takami

Answer 10

A learning experience is one of those things that say, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.'

-Douglas Adams

Answer 11

-A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

-Laziness prevents tiredness.

-Where your treasure is, there will be your heart also.

-The last enemy that shall be destroyed is Death.

-One who knows nothing can understand nothing.

-We learn the most when we are teaching.

-To a woman's mind, anything is logical.

-It's not the heat, it's the humility.

-Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

-Speak little, do much.

Answer 12

nice idea =]

I'v always liked:

I would rather you hate me for who I am than love me for something  which I am not.

Answer 13

"I don't agree with what you say but I would fight to the death for your right to say it":-

Voltaire

Answer 14

"Be the change that you want to see in the world" - Ghandi

Answer 15

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” - Mahatma Gandhi

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” - Plato

“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it” - Albert Einstein

“We must become the change we want to see.” - Mahatma Gandhi

“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.” - Mae West

“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time” - Friedrich Nietzsche

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” - Oscar Wilde

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.” - Rodney Dangerfield

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.” - Swedish Proverb

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” - A. A. Milne

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” - Pietro Aretino

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.” - Roy Croft

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” - Judy Garland

Answer 16

When the rich wage war it's the poor who die