International Adoption... Child's Name?

Question

My parents are currently in the process of adopting a child from overseas. Although we are completely against name changing, and believe that it's EXTREMELY important for a child to hold onto the sense of self that comes with their name, we were considering adding a traditional family name as one of their middle names. This process would not involve removing ANY of the child's birth names, but be intended to give them a link to our family as weel as their birth family.

What's your opinion on this? A good idea or not?

Answer 1

I think that your last name should be sufficient, but it doesn't sound harmful to me.  It's a nice idea.

Answer 2

its good for them to still have their roots from where they have come from, but to have another middle name is great, its like a sense of their new roots. they would be the best of both worlds

Answer 3

I think the sense of self will evolve into being more a part of your family than losing a part of their ethnicity. I think its very important to give a family name. Because your saying the child is part of your family.

Answer 4

International Adoption can go wrong. I've heard many stories, god forbid these things happen to you guys. Well, there was this family that chatted with the adoption place in a foreign country. They talked to them and discussed the child they wanted to adopt for 6 months. When they came to pick the child up, the adoption place said that the child was taken. So they offered a new healthy child. The child seemed healthy so they took her. The child actually had mental problems and the adopted mother killed her. I think that 20% of adoptions by Americans go wrong. Scary.

Answer 5

Yes.i think its really a good idea, that way the child will always have a connection to the family! Great idea! and i just wanted to say that it was really sweet of you and your parents to think of adopting overseas!!!Goodluck

Answer 6

Wonderful idea.  And congratulations to all involved.

People need to not be so quick to critize another family's adoption choice.  Foster adoption is not for everyone.  Each family has to make the decision that's best for them.

Answer 7

Its a wonderful idea!  That name will help them feel they belong as they get older!  I'm curious to know what the full name will be!  And congrats on being a "new" sibling!

Answer 8

Just add the new last name - leave the rest alone.

When my sister and I were adopted, we had so little. We didn't even own our own clothes. All we had were our names and some self-identity.

Our parents [the people who adopted and raised us] were smart about this - they added their family name to the end of ours and otherwise left our names and identities alone.

They also didn't hammer on: losing our accents, changing our religion; they just let us grow at our own paces into the family.

Compared to a lot of other people we know who were adopted as older kids, our transition was quite smooth - and part of this is I believe the facts that we didn't get overwhelmed by changes.

Answer 9

Our children have the longest names as we gave them a new first name, kept their full birthnames as middles names and of course added our surnames at the end.  I figured that when they are adults, if they want to revert back to their birth names, they can just go by their middle name/s.  To tell you the truth, we gave them their first names because we just wanted to name them, but on the other hand also kept their original names because it is part of their identity.

Answer 10

As an adoptee, I don't mind the fact that my parents gave me a new name. My birth name is So Hee Yong. I'm now named after my father and grandfather.

How old is the child? That might have some weight with your decision. If he/she is still a baby, renaming is not a big issue. The child won't have the sort of attachment an young child would.

You can still help this new family member identify with his/her previous culture as well as appreciate his/her new culture.

With all of that said, I don't believe your idea is a bad one. It's your family's decision. Although, personally, I think I'd feel more distant from my parents if they didn't change my name, since they are both Caucasian and I'm Asian.

I can only speak from personal experience, though.

Answer 11

My opinion is that your parents should have adopted a foster child from your home country. This way the child they're adopting wouldn't have to leave his/her culture, language, and ethnic identity behind.

Answer 12

That would be a great idea.  That way, the child would have a portion of himself/herself in their homeland but would also feel welcome in the US.... especially if the child is at an age that she/he understands the whole adoption thing.  :)

Answer 13

i think its a great idea...when the child gets older, im sure he or she will appriate the effort the family put in to ensure they felt comfortable with the family, and to be included.

Answer 14

I think it is a gr8 idea. Good luck to your parents. :)