International Adoption Question?

Question

So, my husband and I decided to exand our family through adoption. We already have a beautiful biological daughter and are not reproductively challenged, but ever since I was little, I have felt the need to adopt.

We are torn between two countries:

Thailand

Vietnam

(we chose the for personal reasons, and no, we are pretty much only considering these two countries at this point)

I was wondering about any experiences or things you could tell us about either to lead us to the right direction. We have read and meet the US criteria for adoption, but there is another dilema: we'd like a girl. This, again, for personal reasons (not because of our daughter, I know that she's love a brother or sister equally, as we would. It's something else).

I hear neither country regards preferences, but we are interested in girls, mainly.

What should we do?

Do we put our names on both lists?

Advice?

Answer 1

Are you going to give up your culture, your home, your language and everything you hold dear and move to Thailand or Veitnam so your newly adopted child can be raised where he or she was born?

Or are you going to expect this child to give up everything and move to the US to suit your needs?

Answer 2

Please remember that raising an adopted child is different than raising a biological child.  Adoption should be about the children.  Putting the child's needs and wants above the needs and wants of the adoptive parents.  It sounds like you have a lot of research to do, and this is a great place to start.

http://www.informedadoptions.com/index.p...

Answer 3

If you are an American you should know that Vietnam is no longer open to Americans and I think Thailand's International program is closed.

Answer 4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFPIbtyCM...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOn2Kd1Ak...

There's a great starting point for your research.  From there, maybe order this:

http://onthefaultline.com/

Talk to adoptees from both countries, see what they have to say.  Nobody better to help you make your decision than those who have lived through it!

Answer 5

When my husband and I were doing research about adoption we began by talking with several agencies that processed adoptions from the countries we were considering.  We found that because so many people have experience with one country or another we were not able to get a full picture by just talking to families.  

We found an agency that we respected and trusted and really had an open conversation with the individuals that worked directly with each country.  They gave us very current and realistic information to help us make an informed decision.  

Right now my husband and I are considering adoption again and are considering Thailand and the Philippines.  We know that our research will include another honest discussion with adoption professionals.

Good luck to you.  I hope that regardless of your decision that your family is blessed with the child you are waiting for!

Answer 6

My friend is 5 weeks pregnant maybe you can adopt her kid.  She's intelligent, beautiful and the father is also intelligent.  She wants to abort. So maybe you could save the poor innocent baby's life.

Answer 7

I would suggest moving to either country for at least a few months to understand the culture and possible start learning the language. It will be very important for the emotional welfare of the child to remain attached or in contact to their biological roots. Its an ignorant mistake many uncultured a-parents make.  I would also suggest taking your adopted child back to the their home country at least once every two years for at least a couple of weeks. This is what a lot of families do that emigrate to the US. Its something a the IA society hasn't caught on to yet.

Answer 8

We adopted from S. Korea, so I don't know a lot about the programs for either of these countries, but I know of a couple of international adoption forums that have sections for families who've adopted from both of the countries you mentioned. The folks on there can probably answer any questions you have about the process, and share their experiences.

http://www.holtintl.org/forums/

http://forums.adoption.com/adopting-asia...

Here is another site I would highly recommend going to if you're planning on adopting internationally.

http://www.a4everfamily.org/

There's a lot of info an attachment, and things you should be aware of when adopting internationally. Good luck.