Interpersonal skills?

Question

being a teenager, its hard to get to know other people, especially in highschool. cliques, and 'social classes' and that kind of stuff can make it hard to meet new people. so i was wondering what are some good ways to avoid social awkwardness but develop interpersonal skills? and for the record, im not trying to get in with these groups, no im just trying to mingle. advice appreciated, thanks!

Answer 1

look, be yourself.  those clicks don't end after high school.  they get worse.  and more emotionally damaging.  bring on social awkwardness.  could use a little more of that these days.  don't mingle.  don't try.  just be yourself, and you can just COEXIST instead.  if you waste your time studying this click phenomenon, you will digress your intrapersonal skills.  go person to person, and you will get farther.  the only difference between a 'jock' and a 'geek' are the walls they put up.  and the time and energy they spend keeping those walls up.

Answer 2

"so i was wondering what are some good ways to avoid social awkwardness but develop interpersonal skills?"

The beauty about being in high school is that almost everybody is socially awkward (some just hide it better). Speaking from experience, the best advice I can give you is to plow through it. Try to talk to people and develop these skills now, but allow yourself to be a little awkward! You can then evaluate what was awkward about it and what you could have done differently. But you need the experience of trying first.

I know it doesn't sound pleasant to embrace the awkwardness of your interactions, but trust me. Being a teenager is exactly the right time to get all your awkwardness out of your system. People expect teenagers to be awkward. I know people that really did avoid social interactions their entire teenage lives, and now they're forced to be put in social situations because of their careers. So they're as awkward as teenagers because they never learned from a past experience. And it's MUCH worse to be an awkward professional adult than an awkward teenager.

My advice is to practice interacting with adults. Because almost everyone else is awkward in high school, adults will give you a good example of how to respond to one another during conversation. Once you have some good ideas of the "right" things to say from what you've observed of adults, you can interact with other teenagers more. Also, try to deconstruct in your mind the barriers between cliques to make the people in them more approachable. The friends that hang out in really tight groups aren't as cohesive and inflexible as you think. Just remember to relax; nothing that happens socially in high school will matter in just 5 short years.

Answer 3

Do ignore the person who can't even spell 'clique' -- even with your example of correct spelling right there.

As soon as you leave high school, that whole thing changes for most people; only a few idiots hang on to it.

Anyway, to your question.

You got good advice from the second answer, but I just wanted to say, try to see beyond the cliques. Each of those people is an individual (though they try to bury it in group identification to some extent).

Try to see them as individuals.

Then, spend a little time chatting with those you think you're compatible with. Friendships may develop, and you'll be the guy who moves between cliques, but is part of none. (There are people who do this, despite social pressures to pick one.)

Try not to avoid social activity. Just admit to yourself when you're feeling awkward, then move on.

Also, if you can notice people -- and see what makes them visibly awkward, and what makes them seem smooth, you can sort of imitate some of the smoothness (but make it your own).