Interracial adoption...?

Question

My Husband and I want to adopt, but haven't yet. I would like to adopt a child of a different culture than mine. I would like to be able to teach them all about their culture and language growing up because I feel that it would be important for them to learn about it. My question is if you have adopted a child of different culture did you try to teach them all about it. How did or are things working. I know that this would be a huge job. Tell me what you think or what has worked and hasn't worked for you.

Thanks for all of your help

Answer 1

while I don't have any experience teaching a child about their racial ancestry...I just can't help but comment on the response from the person above...

Speaking as a mother of two sons...boys are great! :)

Answer 2

Hmm this is an interesting , Are you talking about another country entirely or different ethnicity? And why not adopt in America, it takes longer and is more difficult , but our country's children need loving mothers and fathers too !

I am African American, American Indian and Irish, I was brought up as an American (lol) sorry couldn't  help it . I decided on my own to research all of my ancestry in junior high. I never felt like I had to or like I was treated any differently than others. I went to a  school with mostly Caucasian individuals. My daughter is all of the things I have and more Irish. I feel like I should raise her as an American because 6 generations removed from any native land that is what she is.

I gave up a son for adoption who  physically appears to be mixed, black and white, to those who do not delve any deeper. His adopted family is white, they do not make a big deal out of his ethnicity which is why I chose them.

My sister was born in another country and took it upon herself as well to learn about the country she was born in.

I think where you grow up and have roots should be where you are from and your culture, not your ethnicity, skin color, or where you where conceived and born.

Answer 3

You , as your child's parents, honor them by honoring their birthfamily and heritage.  It is a part of who they are.  It is the first part of who they are.  It is so important.

It is not necessary though, for example, if you adopt an Hispanic child, to change absolutely everything in your home and life to reflect another culture.  But you do introduce ways to appreciate and honor the new culture -- maybe through foods, art, decor, even adding a language.  But more importantly, you honor and respect ALL cultures and races.  This is the best way for your child to see that THEY are sincerely accepted unconditionally.  To see their family accepting of ALL cultures!

It is a challenging and exciting thing to blend cultures or races.  It takes creativity, thought and love.  It enriches your life beyond belief.  You will be a richer, more interesting person for it.  And your child will be, too!  

Good luck!!

Oh, and to the woman who doesn't like little boys -- it's a good thing she's not raising any then!  Boys-Girls-All God's Children!

Answer 4

I have two adopted children.  Both are racially different from my husband.  We have not made a big deal about culture.  We have taught them to be proud of who they are, and that who they are has to do with what they are inside, not outside.

Answer 5

I think your question is wonderful.  There are many ways to teach a child about their heritage.  Just start at the beginning - do research on the internet, learn about different foods, take a cooking class, celebrate holidays, learn crafts, and most importantly, get to know other people of different cultures.  Some Korean adoptees go to summer camps (I'm sure they have these for kids from other countries also).  

Keep in mind that even with your best intentions... some adopted kids don't like this kind of thing because it "reminds" them that they are adopted... they are more interested in fitting in than standing out.  But, they'll appreciate it later.

There's a good chapter in Mary Pipher's "Reviving Ophelia" about this... about a Sioux girl who was adopted into a Caucasian American family.   There's a lot of literature and research on this also.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Adoption is a good thing, but make sure you adopt a girl because the boys are too much trouble and way too hard to handle. Honestly, if you adopt a boy, your only asking for trouble.

Answer 7

Many agencies that specialize in international adoptions actually will hold "get-togethers" for adoptive families throughout the year that focus on a holiday pertaining to the child's culture.  It is a great time to have a reunion with other families that you may have traveled with and allows a support group for the children as they get older also.  There is a local agency that throws a "party" for Chinese New Year every year.  

Good luck to you!

Answer 8

It's great that you are asking this question and learning about these issues before you get your child.  We have a little girl adopted from China and we do our best to teach her about the culture she was born in, the culture she is growing up in and lots of other cultures too.  

Some of the ways we teach her about her birth culture is by reading books about China, watching Chinese DVDs and listening to Chinese music.  We either cook Chinese at home or go out to eat authentic Chinese food on a regular basis.  We spend time with Chinese people and make sure that we and she has chinese friends.  We celebrate Chinese New Year and other festivals with our extended family.  My husband and I are learning mandarin and as soon as she is old enough she will be starting classes too.

One thing is to make sure that your child's culture is not just something you do for them but it is something that becomes an important part of your whole family (eg. Don't decorate their room with lots of cultural artifacts but have nothing in the rest of the house.)

I think the most important thing I have realised is that even though it will always be an important part of her, my daughter will never be Chinese in the way she would have been if she had grown up in China.  She has far more in common with people who have immigrated here or were born here to Chinese parents.  They know what it is like to be 'different', what it is like to deal with racism and how to take what they want from their different cultures to suit the person that they are.  It is this group that I am trying to learn the most from and  where my daughter is most likely to find her identity.

I wish you all the best. Being a mummy to my daughter is too wonderful for words.