Interracial dating question?

Question

Last night I was on the couch watching Dancing With the Stars with Goubla, who has been betrothed to me since I was 7 years old. One thing led to the other, but I was surprised to discover that Goubla has been wearing a chastity belt. It's not just one of the leather ones either, there are like cast iron plates. I'm surprised I didn't notice it when she wore a bikini last Summer, although she is morbidly obese. Does anyone have experience with chastity belts? I have already tried a crowbar and some bolt-cutters.

Answer 1

It's all pink on the inside...

Answer 2

You should do what "Magnum P.I." does......carry a small lock pick set in you back pocket at all times, only use it when attack dogs are chasing you or bad guys closing in fast,you should gain entry only seconds away from your demise, once inside what your looking for should be conveniently laying in plain sight,maybe in a desk drawer, once you've found it,look concerned and hurt at the same time.......you should hear a short burst of music at that point denoting a sense of relief or closure..........I hope you have a funny pre-ending credit summary, she will be begging for more.  

Answer 3

did you try a jack hammer ?..maybe just use your very special key..

  

Answer 4

You need the high-power cutting attachment for your Dremel tool. As long as it is regular steel and not heat-treated in any way you should be able to cut through it in no time...

Answer 5

Meet me in the back in an hour.

Goubla will understand, and if she doesn't, I'll throw a cake in her (general) direction and all will be well in Camelot once more.

Answer 6

Goubla?

****

Answer 7

interracial?

Answer 8

LOL OKAY well thats unfortunate but doesn't she have a key or something? How does she go to the bathroom?  

Answer 9

American huh?  Well I suppose you could be you are enough of a jack@ss.

This message sent to you by your not-so neighborly North American.

Answer 10

I've never seen Dancing With the Stars, but there must be an intermission....a commercial break, they call it in some places.

Use those opportunities to feed your new bride plates piled high with delicious cheeseburgers. Something will have to give, eventually......and until then, you're welcome to stop by my place.

Answer 11

Stop using physical force,  you Americans (I believe you are one!).  

Is this all you people can do!  

Hint:  Try a little genuine love and care and a lifetime of unwavering commitment!!!  

Answer 12

wht the???? dude get a hammer and break that **** lol... nah you ******.. dont hate

Answer 13

Acetylene torch.

Answer 14

Sounds like you need some serious firepower. I'd recommend a TOW-II anti-tank missile: it'll rip through the sucker like there's no tomorrow, and get rid of some of that fat at the same time. If that doesn't work, go for a Davy Crockett portable nuclear shell launcher -- guaranteed or your money back!

Answer 15

I'm thinking that it wasn't a chastity belt at all, but instead, Goubla is actually a cyborg.

Answer 16

Get an angle grinder into it.