Intolerable aunt!! she is freaking rude! help me plz!?

Question

i have this aunt who is intolerable in every way that is possible.she is having this fantastic job and is always criticizing of me saying that i don't do anything in life except being a housewife which according to her is useless.i was working for sometime and she was always comparing my job and hers.not only that she is so anorexic thin and she finds my 5.4 inches height =120 pounds body fat and makes it a point to comment on me everytime we meet.not only that she thinks she knows everything in life better that everybody and is always like commenting on everything i do be it my dressing,hairstyle,cooking,job anything.worst thing is she even comments on my husband's looks!! gawd!!moreover madam queenie will not call up.she wants me to call her up and ask her if she needs anything to bring to her house when iam coming there next time!! would u belive that??her ego is knowing no bounds these days!! i don't know why some women are like this!! how do i deal with her?

Answer 1

This woman has a self-esteem problem and is totally insecure.  

I would not tolerate this nonsense and would inform her "if you cannot say anything nice to me, do not say anything at all"

Quite frankly you do not need someone like this in your life.  She is making you miserable and unhappy and you only have one life.  I would not go to her house until she learns to be nice, but I doubt that she will change.  

Just because she is a relative do not feel obliged to put up with her rudeness.

Answer 2

Why are you even having this Aunt over?    If you are married and have your own home,  why let her in?   Why go over to her house?   While you should take care of your parents,  Aunts are not your responsibility.  Simply cut her off.  

Do not call her.   Do not visit her and if she comes over,  do not let her in.   Simple.

Answer 3

Just cast off some vicious backhanded comments once in a while....like, "Wow, have you lost weight? You look SO much better!" Or, "Wow, the work world must be difficult, I can see what a toll it takes on you."

It'll drive her absolutely nuts, guaranteed.

Answer 4

Time to start standing up for your self.  Just don't accept the abuse anymore.

Answer 5

just don't let her get to you!  it's hard but what else can you do you can't change her only she can change!

but i would nicely state how you feel!

next time she comments on your weight say why are you bring this up again are you jealuous? if you start questioning her on why she is commenting on so much maybe she will lay off a bit  no one likes to be put on the spot!

or just pull her aside and have a conversation with her tell her how you feel when she comments on it!  and if she could please tone it down this is your life and reguardless of her comments/suggestions you will ask if needed.

i wouldn't call her i mean normally there isn't no big deal "hey so in so i'm stopping by you need anything" but with her asking you to do this just say i'll try but most likely not...

Answer 6

May I suggest that you speak honestly with her, in private, the next time she is rude?  Let her know, in a calm and firm manner, that you find her conduct toward you to be intolerable -- and that you will no longer tolerate it.  Keep it short and plain.  Give specific reasons why her behavior THIS TIME is unacceptable.  You don't need to argue with her.  Just cut her out of your life, if possible, unless and until she treats you in a way that you find acceptable.

If she keeps being rude to you and you keep taking it, then you are both responsible for the situation.

By the way, it's not just some women who are like this.

Answer 7

If you don't stand to gain financially when she dies,tell her to go **** herself.Tell her she's a pain and a nuisance you can live without.

Answer 8

It sounds like she is obessed at pointing out your faults to make herself feel better...does she have a family of her own? If not, I'll bet she's extremely jealous of the fact that you have a family.  She is obviously jealous of your looks as well.  She needs to feel important, and her making you call her makes her feel like she is needed, not the other way around.  She obviously must not be very smart if she doesn't think being a housewife is simple and useless.  I would hold pity for her, and everytime she insults you just remember she has a ruined self-image.  You can always talk to her and state that she is hurting you.  If she refuses to listen, the best thing would unfortunately be to gradually write her out of your life, maybe only seeing her at family reunions or special gatherings.

Answer 9

give her a piece of her mind , but don't start a big war or fight please you don't want the rest of your family stirred in , start by proving her wrong and politley tell her that my hair is nice today thank-you yours is as well maybe all the woman needs is some soft heart or love she mite be jealous or a number of things can be in her mind , that your figurine is nicer than hers , your hair or cooking as i said a number of things ,if that is so start by trying to complement her , making her feel welcome into your family getting her involved in activities ect. she will start to settle down and not look at your beauty or talent but the person you are inside , for your sweetness and love ,she will start to appear as somebody else , she will come out of that shell of hers , but if that is not the solution then be the smart minds when she makes fun of you or so , be smart , don't return her rude foolish manners because she'll always go back at you with twice as much , don't say a word just be smart you can't do anything about stupidity in the future the rocks she threw at you will come back at her with twice as more force it figures , don't  ignore or  make her furious just smile and be brave and try to avoid most of her tempting foolishness that you wan't too come back at  , some people just have some physical problems that there obsessed about everything , the world today is stressing and some people just want it all , the clothes , the body the talent everything they can't get there hands on just makes them more prone to making fun of people that have them  she just might be one of those that most experiences it , try to understand her more reasonably and you'll be happier than ever ! good luck !