Inventive Discipline?

Question

Okay, my son is 9 and CAN NOT seem to learn self control. We've tried to teach him it's wrong to hit, kick, pinch, bite, etc when he's angry or whatever, but it isn't sinking in. We've tried time outs, we've butted in and made him think it out, we've taken away X-Box, computer and TV privilages, we've made him do housework, anything we can think of. We're out of ideas how to discipline him in a way that will make him get the point. Any ideas??? He is a good kid, but doesn't think before he acts.

Answer 1

Perhaps you can make a funny game out of it.  Have him "pretend" he is angry. You say things like "What are those green things coming out of your ears? They look stupid." Then give him a response such as "That's an interesting question. Why do you ask?" Or "They aren't as stupid as the red ones coming out of your nose." Perhaps you don't want to teach him sarcasm. I had two sons that were just like yours in the anger department. That second comment is sarcastic and it is a personal decision you must make about whether or not to teach it to him. Using these "silly" comments for practice engages the creative thinking wheels instead of the aggressive wheels, and keeps him calm. After a couple of days with this technique, start making the situations more realistic, such as a disagreement over a toy, or a difference of opinions on whether someone is "safe or out" in a ball game. Finally, have him make a list of things that make him mad. Then have him come up with an appropriate response, then do the roll playing mentioned above. It takes time and energy, but it does pay off in the long run. Good Luck!! (The poster of this comment (Cynthia McAllister) has copy wright on this activity as it is "in press" of an educational magazine.)

Answer 2

Perhaps you can make a funny game out of it.  Have him "pretend" he is angry. You say things like "What are those green things coming out of your ears? They look stupid." Then give him a response such as "That's an interesting question. Why do you ask?" Or "They aren't as stupid as the red ones coming out of your nose." Perhaps you don't want to teach him sarcasm. I had two sons that were just like yours in the anger department. That second comment is sarcastic and it is a personal decision you must make about whether or not to teach it to him. Using these "silly" comments for practice engages the creative thinking wheels instead of the aggressive wheels, and keeps him calm. After a couple of days with this technique, start making the situations more realistic, such as a disagreement over a toy, or a difference of opinions on whether someone is "safe or out" in a ball game. Finally, have him make a list of things that make him mad. Then have him come up with an appropriate response, then do the roll playing mentioned above. It takes time and energy, but it does pay off in the long run. Good Luck!! (The poster of this comment (Cynthia McAllister) has copy wright on this activity as it is "in press" of an educational magazine.)