Invite ex to wedding?

Question

ok so me and my bf of 2 years are now engaged. The thing is that his desparate weak ex will not go away and im about to kick her ***. But my fiancee wants her to come and he knows that I cannot even bare the thought of that *****. so my question is should I let hin invite her, or if she invites herself what do I do because I do not want to kill her @ my wedding. thanks.

I know this sounds brutal but she put herself in this situation by aacting like the little girl that she is!

Answer 1

Why is he adamant about allowing his ex to come to YOUR wedding?! You need to tell him you do not approve and stand your ground about it. If you are not comfortable about having her there, then let it be known. She could cause unecessary drama on your dream day!

Answer 2

i would def not left my boyfriend invite his ex no matter how long they went out for. i hate my boyfriends X a wicked lot too. tell him straight up that u want to have a fun great wedding and that his X has nothing to do with ur relationship or ur wedding, Tell him that she only wants to come because she wants him back. That if he really does love u adn only wants to be with u then he shouldnt be inviting his X to ur wedding. if she shows up uninvited tell her to get out. if she doesnt leave i'd punch her in the face but u dont wanna end up in jail so u can tell the people that u are renting the hall from that there is a person there that u do not want and they should take care of it.  

Answer 3

If they do not have kids together (as in a life tie)... Then there is actually NO reason that she should be at your wedding. Its YOUR wedding too... You should question his reason behind inviting her... He needs a dose of "do unto others as you want done unto you"...

I am not trying to be negative, but you two should really discuss this, its not only disrespectful to you but to the relationship you both have...  

Answer 4

DON'T invite her.  It's your wedding, don't let her ruin your day. Why does your fiance want her at the wedding?

Answer 5

NOOOOO!Thats why they are exs.They need to go away.How dare your fiance still talks to her.Extremely rude.

Answer 6

how can you marry someone who wants to invite someone to your wedding and he knows you hate her?  why would you even associate with a guy like that?

Answer 7

No,Why Should You Let This Women Ruin Your Big Day?

This Sounds Like A Disaster Waiting To Happen..

Answer 8

If she is just pathetic and wanting to come, you are the one with the man. I actually don't know why she would want to come. Hmmm

In fact, if you hate her...let her come to witness what is likely to be a painful moment.

But if you have any reason to believe she will misbehave express this concern with your fiancee. No need to see your bridesmaids administering a beat down. You want your bridal video to be memorable but not quite that memorable.

When you speak to your fiancee say " You are willing to be sensitive to his vouching for her behavior and assuming the responsibility."  He may not want to do that. And he may make the choice to skip extending that invitation.

Answer 9

No, but do not tell him point blank. Just play it off first and be like, "well we will see if we have enough room". Then when the day get's closer or when you need a final count just be like, "too bad she cannot come and my friend cannot either, we went over guest". Make him know that he could not invite her and you yourself could not invite your friend. And if he persists which I think he will not be like, "h**l No". LOL. Good luck.

Answer 10

Yikes! He seriously WANTS to invite her?? NO! I wouldn't let him. In fact I'd be curious as to WHY he wants her around anyway.. if they have kids together, I could see why, but typically you dont invite ex's to weddings! If she shows up uninvited anyway, ignore her, You dont want to look like you are "fighting" to keep your husband.  

Answer 11

i think that you should, if your fiance wants to bring her. and anyway, YOURE walking down the aisle.. she isn't. make that known (:

Answer 12

If you want to make your spouse happy by being the bigger person maybe you should, but I believe you should have an understanding with the ex. Letting her know that if she gets out of pocket she will be dismissed! And a plus is that your family and his will be looking out for your happiness on your day. Just let them know the deal and they'll keep a eye on the chick!

Answer 13

This has NOTHING NADA to do with HER.

This is TOTALLY between you and your fiance'. TOTALLY.

From now on out, he needs to be listening to YOU. And if HE cannot HE needs to go, SHE is not the problem.

If y'all don't end up together HE is the reason not an ex HE cannot say no to.

I would straight up tell the person I am supposed to live my life with, YOU INVITE HER YOU MARRY HER. It's her or me?

You totally take the power away from her and give it back to you and yours.. And if yours ain't gonna respect you HE has got to go.

Otherwise your whole life will be this way. I am telling you.

How FREAKING hard would it be for him to respect YOU by telling her NO WAY are you coming to my wedding, go get your own life?

Not hard if he respected you and wanted you bad enough. Just saying.

Oh and congratulations on being engaged.

Answer 14

If they don't have children together that she needs to be there to keep an eye on then she shouldn't be at your wedding. In my opinion once a relationship ends the ex doesn't need to be in your life. Why is he even still in touch with her? He needs to get her out of y'alls life before you get married.

Tell him that if she is that important to you then, I need to rethink marring you. That will make him understand.

If she invites herself then i would have some one kick her out.

Answer 15

ABSOLUTLEY NOT. Why are you marrying a man that would put the wishes of his X over yours? If he is serious about spending his life with you he should realize that means putting the past in the past.

Answer 16

no, i don't think that u should invite her.she needs to let go of the past.. talk to your bf about how u feel with this situation and her coming to your wedding.if that dont help talk to his ex and tell her to stay away from u guys or else... ;D

Answer 17

I think that you need to talk to you husband to be and tell him how uncomfortable that would make you feel and hope he understands, not only that if she still cares about him it will be uncomfortable for her to. I think if he ends up dancing with him it would just be a big fight between the two of you that could have been prevented by just not inviting her. good luck.

Answer 18

if da ***** is gonna start trouble h**l no

Answer 19

Don't be fooled, you are the bride, it is your day, the groom is a prop, he shouldn't bring any drama to that day. Nothing should upset that for you. Go tell him that she can't come plain and simple because it will put a damper on your day.  

Answer 20

Put it to him this way:  He can invite whomever he wishes.  However, he has to recognize that his actions have an impact on you and if how she feels matters more to him than how you feel, then perhaps he asked the wrong girlfriend to marry him.

This puts him in a position where you haven't stopped him, but he has no choice but to stop himself.

As to keeping her away, give a photo of her to the ushers.  If she shows up, they ask her to leave and threaten to call the police.  But most importantly, no one should tell you on that day, b/c you deserve to just enjoy yourself.

Answer 21

Oh heck no ! If she's as immature as she sounds, I would not be surprised if she tries to make some sort of scene (either crying really loud or trying to steal a dance with your man). Absolutely nothing good can come out of her being there. PLUS, last time I checked, this is your day....... why on earth should you have to deal with having someone there taht yo do not want to (plus have to worry about her & also pay for her meal). No offense, but, your man needs to get a back-bone & tell her not only is she not invited but that he loves you & doesn't want anything to do with her. If she threatens to show up & crash, then have your man tell her that someone will be checking invitaions at the door & if she tries to come in , she'll get booted.

Also, I know different states are different, but my one requires a police detail at any event that has more than 100 people. You can always tell her that if she shows up, she will be instantly arrested for tresspassing.

Answer 22

bit strange inviting the ex to your wedding. fair enough if you are all mates still but in your situation i would put my foot down and say 'no way'.

Answer 23

Your "boyfriend" needs to stand up to his ex, or you will always have her around. Period. Talk to him about it and explain how you feel. If he knows that it bothers you and he STILL chooses to pursue this friendship, there isn't much you can do - either you fight and risk your relationship or you accept it as is and keep the peace.

P.S. Remember that it's not the ex that's the problem here, it's the person who chooses to associate with the ex.

Answer 24

NO, she should not be allowed at the wedding and your boyfriend should be wise and mature enough to know better.  It is different if she is nice and respectful.  But the fact that you have a problem with her and your fiance still thinks she should come is a slap in your face and completely disrespectful.  That is just opening the door for drama.

I would compile a list and if your name is not on the list, you are not getting in so that if she tried to invite herself, she will not be allowed to come in.  

Answer 25

Okay I am sure I am going to get crucified for this but I think if she is a close enough friend of his that he wants her there than she should be invited.  I have gone to the weddings of 3 exes and have a few on my guest list - we are adults and respect each other.  We don't have to like all the friends we both chose but we do need to respect each others decisions.

Your problem isn't with her but it's within yourself.  If you were more secure in yourself you wouldn't be concerned with her.