Invited to bridal shower but not wedding - isn't this rude?

Question

My best friend's sister-in-law, whom I've known for 12 years, is getting married this weekend. I was invited to the bridal shower/bachelorette party, where I paid for my own dinner and brought a nice gift, but I was not invited to the wedding. Isn't this horrible etiquette? I feel used.

Answer 1

Girl, you werent actually "invited" to the bridal shower if you paid for your own dinner!

The bridal shower "invite" was rude, and so was not inviting you to the wedding. Double rude. Shame on them.

Answer 2

Extremely rude and in poor taste.  You should not invite people to the bridal shower who are not invited to the wedding.

Bachelorette party not as bad, because it can be just a girls night out.  And maybe they can't afford to have everyone invited to wedding.

But if you are inviting someone to a bridal shower where there is gift giving involved, that is so completely rude to not invite them to the actual wedding.

Answer 3

For me personally, yes, I would be very hurt . Sure gives 'ya a strange feeling when your money was good enough for a shower present and then get excluded for the big event where all the fun and food is .

Goes to show you can't tell what folks think about you .

Maybe  your 'friend' can enlighten you . To just let it go and never find out is not my bag . I would want to know no matter who gets pissed .

Sorry to be so blunt .

Answer 4

Well, if I were you, I just wouldn't have gone to the shower, but it seems like you didn't know you weren't invited to the wedding at that point, so yes, inviting you to the shower was in extremely bad taste.

In general, if you already knew they were having a small wedding, and had maybe expressed interest in celebrating with the bride-to-be anyway, I don't think it would have been wrong to invite you to the shower.

Answer 5

definitely, I think it is ignorant for someone to just invite you to their bridal shower but not the wedding. Kind of like they have no idea what feelings or being "polite" is.

Answer 6

I've been invited to a bridal shower but not the wedding  before. At the moment, i thought it was so rude, but later once i got engaged i start to feel what she went through. she invited only 20 people to her wedding, which is mainly their family members, so you can tell it's least she could do based on her wedding budget. Don't be upset, everyone have there reasons, as long she is not inviting your close friends too :-)

Answer 7

Yes it was extremely rude!

Answer 8

I would give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that there was some kind of mistake.  Give her a call (or have your friend do it) and say that you really enjoyed the shower, and that you were concerned that you haven't received your invitation yet.  If it was an oversight, she'll be happy to get one out to you right away.  If it was rudeness, it ought to kick her into gear and if she doesn't send one to you, then she's a loser.

Answer 9

OMG! that is rude girl! ask ur bff whats up and tell her dont say anything to sis! u dont wanna stress her but thats weird. ur bff shoulda been like why didnt u invite 'rachel'? girl when u find out let us know!  

Answer 10

Yes, it is rude.

Answer 11

Yes, this is rude.

Proper etiquette for a shower guest list is those women invited to the wedding who are close with the bride.  Some people invite every single woman on the list to the wedding, while some just invite those that know the bride or groom well.  (You know, leave out those random 12th cousins the Mother in law INSISTS on inviting.)

In June, I was invited to a shower for my husband's friend's younger brother.  I thought it was odd b/c I don't know the bride will and my husband isn't friends with the brother.  Come to find out that my other friend was invited and she didn't even know the brother had a girlfriend, let along was getting married.  

So needless to say, I didn't go to the shower.  And the wedding is in a few weeks and we were never invited.  So I am really glad I didn't go.  I feel that was wrong to invite people not invited to the wedding to the shower.  It's like you're looking for extra gifts.  

I find it add that you have known the bride for 12 years and she obviously wanted you at the shower but didn't invite you to the wedding?  

That bride should read up on etiquette on theknot!!!

Answer 12

Yes. It's in poor taste and ignorance about the most basic ettiquette to invite people to a shower and not a wedding. You are right, they used you and yuo have reasons to feel insulted. Money grabbing people wiuth no manners are the worse kind. I'm sorry about this.

Good luck

Answer 13

Well it depends on the situation.  If it's like a huge wedding and everyone else is invited, then it's a bit rude, but if it's a very small (family only) type event then the bridal shower is more a chance to celebrate with friends and it's understandable I think.

Answer 14

Wow...Thats totally rude. I got married 6 weeks ago and I think thats so inapporpriate. You don't invite people to your shower unless their invited to the wedding..That is extreamly greedy.  

Answer 15

It is in very bad taste for the bride to have not invited you to the wedding!  Depending on how close you are to the bride, I would confront her about it...AFTER the wedding, and let her know that your feelings were hurt by her actions.

Answer 16

Yes it is very rude of her to invite you to the shower but not to the wedding. Mostly all the people that go to the shower always go to the wedding. Do you know of anyone else ,from you friend, that she knows if anyone was invite to the shower and not the wedding?