Invited with no invit to wedding 1200 miles away, finally received it less than 18 days to wedding,do i go?

Question

Became friendly with best friend's coworker who invited me. We don't necessarily do things when best friend not there. Bride kept asking me if I'm coming...I kept saying I haven't received an invite, she kept saying she emailed me the info? 3 times and still not email. Wedding is 3 hr flight and 3 1/2 hr drive. I received a hand-delivered invite from friend with 18 days to go til wedding...rsvp was 4 months ago. I like the bride, fun and all, but this is alot of money to spend for someone who never really called me that much. Best friend says I'm wrong not to go. Thoughts?

Answer 1

Weddings are great, celebrating love is always fun whatever the background.  That said, you are absolutely not required to go to this one.  You should have been sent a proper invitation, and the same amount of time everyone else was allotted.  Its a tough situation but you are not wrong not to go.

Answer 2

i actualy think u are going to have fun if u go, and u know how busy and stressfull the weddings are aspecialy for the bride, why let your pride about getting a invitation stop u for being there for her? i mean she may really apreciate that u went even with her foregeting about ur invitation. have fun.  

Answer 3

You are absolutely not obligated to go - it's a lot of money on very short notice. If you choose not to, just send a pleasant card (and a gift if you feel comfortable doing so). Don't bring up the slacker invitation, just say "So sorry to miss your wedding - best wishes and congratulations!"

Answer 4

No. You send your regrets, and a card of congrats.

Answer 5

I agree with this answer

Send a card and small gift and just let them know you'd love to be there but cant make it!  

Answer 6

So this is your best friend's coworker?

Um No.  I would not go at all.  The only reason why it would be "wrong" not to go is that you kept asking her for the details so she may be counting on you being there.  But either way, I would still not go.  So what if you end up losing her friendship.  She's your best friend's coworker not your best friend.

Answer 7

It looks as if your coworker has been leaning on the bride to invite you, or you were a substitute for someone who had already declined...either way, you are not top of the list for the bride, so I would write saying that an  engagement made several weeks ago makes it necessary for you to decline, and you wish them all the best. No present - which is probably the reason for your invite! - and if your friend asks you why, say you contribute to charity and will dedicate the next gift to the couple!

Answer 8

This is an aquaintance, Hon, not a best friend or relative....

...my question is why couldn't you have gotten the particulars over the phone during the very first discussion on why you hadn't responded to an invite you hadn't received yet? At that point the physical invite would have been a formality only....nothings says you have to wait until the invite is in your hand before you know the exact deatils to make arrangements accordingly....

So, sounds like both the 'invite-tor' and the 'invite-tee' both dropped the ball.....now there is only 18 days to make arrangements.

Up to you if you feel it's too expensive, and as no, it would not be wrong for you not to attend.....yes, they did hand deliver an invite but the details should have been told to you from the very first phone call....and you should have asked. Good luck.

Answer 9

If you can't afford to go or don't have time, don't go.  We are having a destination wedding and plenty of people were unable to attend, that is one of the first hings you have to get comfortable with when you decide to have one, some people, even some important people, will not be able to make the trip.  Especially with that little notice.  Just politely decline.  She isn't a super close friend and she didn't let you know in time.  She should understand and so should your friend.

Answer 10

Send a card and small gift and just let them know you'd love to be there but cant make it!  

Answer 11

If you don't want to go, send a card and decline. If you can afford it and want to go, have fun! Easy decision...  

Answer 12

Do you want to go? Then go. If you don't think your time and trouble are worth it, then skip it. You don't need to explain to anyone why you're not going... just say it didn't work out. If you choose not to go, since you received an invitations you should, at a minimum, send a note of congratulations.

Hope this is helpful!

Answer 13

Here are my thoughts. Why did you feel you needed an invitation? If she seemed sincere about inviting you, perhaps she is just spacey and disorganized when it comes to invites. If you feel she is just inviting you out of obligation or it is half-hearted, send your regrets. You are not obliged to go to a wedding that far away if she is an acquaintance. Either way, send a sincere letter wishing her well and get her a gift, even a little one,