Is 9 years too much of an age gap between siblings?

Question

My daughter will be 9 years old when I plan to have my second child. Is this too large of an age gap and will my daughter be resentful of a baby because she had always been an only child? She has some baby cousins which she is wonderful around and very attentive. Do you think that she would be different with a sibling or would she be attentive to a new baby in our home as well? Please help I have absolutely no experience with this as I am one of 3 and we were very close in age.

Answer 1

yes... me and my sister is 9 years apart sometimes 10 depending on the month we' re 25 years old and 35 years old..... and we're just starting to see eye to eye with in two years ago... but we love each-otherr webenefiteddeach-otherr.... she watched me when I was little.... took me to school... paid a bit of my college tuition... andI'mm now doing the same thing for her children.... your daughter will like having another child... she would probably feel jealous at first...(like I was when my nephew who is 9 years apart from me was) but she will be alright

Answer 2

Personally i find it a very large age gap. I don't know how old she is now but i think 6 years is the farthest gap between children. But that is just me.

Answer 3

No, it's fine.  There is a 9 year age gap between me and my brother and a 15 yr gap between me and my sister (she was a surprise).  I've always gotten along with both of them, although I left home when my sister was 4 and I'd been more of a parent to her than a sibling when I was home.  

I didn't resent my brother, although I did feel left out on occasion.  Get her involved, but don't turn her into an in-home babysitter, remember that she has a life, too.

Answer 4

most "only children" with no siblings,

grow up to be stuck up.

not all,

but from the kids that i have seen,

it happens.

i was eleven when my half sister was born,

so it's fine.

Answer 5

i am 14 and my sister is 28 and i love it... she is like my best friend instead of my most hated rival... i am glad we are this far apart in age it made our awesome relationship possible.... it isn't too much of an age gap :D

hope i helped<3

Answer 6

well i'm 21, my brother is 17 and our half sister is 4

its a bigger age gap then you are describing. but we all get on fine. my brother is very protective of our sister.

Answer 7

I had my daughter when I was 21 and did not stay with her father.  He's very involved and we're good friends but not in a relationship.  I met my bf/fiancee over a year ago and we're now pregnant with my second child.  I'm now 30 and my daughter will be nearly 9 by the time the new one is born and we're planning on having another 2 after that!  

She is tremendously excited and wants to know everything about the pregnnacy as it goes on.  Every week (sometimes day!) she asks me, 'How big is it now mummy?  When are we going to find out if I'm having a brother or sister?'.

I think the key to it is to involve her as much as possible.  Get a book like The Pregnancy Bible that has pictures week by week of how the baby develops and how your body changes.  That way she can understand.  I also have a fetal doppler that I have used a couple of times so that she can hear the heartbeat.

Keep reassuring her that you love her and that you'll need her help when the baby arrives.  If she's anything like mine and into dolls, she's already looking forward to changing nappies.

Also as much as she loves her dad and her life at the moment I think she's looking forward to being in a complete family environment with my bf and the new baby.

Answer 8

no!!  me and my sis are ten years aaway!!  it dsent matter how old they are but they might fight alot growing up...

well hope i help!!!!

1o2o3o4o5o6o7o8o9o

Answer 9

No, I have a 8 year gap in me and my sister.

Answer 10

There is an 8 year age gap between my 2 sons.  I though this would be good but I was wrong.

My elder son loves his little brother so much but because it has been just us for so long through my whole pregnancy his behaviour was so bad, it took me ages to figure out it was because of the baby (duh) and he actually said he hoped the baby would never be born :( Shame, so I involved him so much it was unbelievable.  I paid for a scan so he could come along and see the baby and things.  Now that the baby is here (6 months old) he is great with him.  The baby loves his big brother so much its so lovely to see. My son is still jealous but he tries to hide it so well, bless him but I think because he's now sharing the attention he finds it difficult and is always looking for reasurance that we love him.  He actualy asked who I loved the best and I couldn't think how to explain it to him because he assumes that I should love him most so I simply said that I didnt know this but as soon as you have another baby your hear grows as well because you love them both the same (which is why your heart needs to grow) which i suppose is true lol.

Because of the age gap we are having problems finding things that we can do that my older son will like because he normally likes going to the cinema which you cant do with a baby so me and my partner take turns at doing more grown up things with him. And we had a special weekend away just  the 3 of us.  It takes a lot but its so worth it.  Especially when I see what they are like together, it melts my heart but it is hard.  

Answer 11

Nope.  I had an older sister who was 12 years older than me! We got along fine, and I think a 9-year-old would be mature enough to understand.

Answer 12

plz help im home alone with my injured sister answer my question plz!!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 13

The perfect age gap is what is perfect for you and your family, whether it's a year, three years or 9 years.

My husband and his brother are 9 years apart and my husband and his younger sister are 14 years apart. My husband and his sister get along the best out of all his siblings. We're there at her house all the time, using her pool, they always speak on the phone, they're very very close to each other.

By spacing siblings so far apart, it can mean an in-home babysitter, assuming you trust your daughter, and an extra set of hands. At her age, she can help get diapers or wipes for you, or clothing, etc. It would also make it easier in the school months, since you'd only have one child to look after, much easier than having two in the toddler years (I will be experiencing this soon enough).

The only downside, my husband says, to having widely-spaced siblings is that he didn't like "growing up alone". By the time he was 5, all his siblings had left and he felt very very lonely, being the "only child", and this is why he wanted his kids close together, so they'd have someone else to grow up with. Our kids will be 20.5 months apart.

Answer 14

No. I had NO siblings and feel like I missed out and got the short end of the stick!

People with siblings joke and say you have such a wonderful life but its LONELY. I say have a child with whatever age gap you want just have one quick!

Answer 15

I can speak from some experience on this question. My parents had my little brother when I was 13.  The biggest things to watch for are the attitudes about what kind of care this baby will need!  I'm sure the 9 year old will watch the child here and there. I don't assume for long periods of time, but it happens. The thing to REALLY watch out for is relying on the eldest child as a "built-in babysitter." This causes much confusion and sometimes resentment toward the youngest.

a quick side note: If you are going to have the 9 year old in the room while the birth is taking place, have her sit somewhere away from full direct view of what's going on. Let her see, but not see. It's a great experience to see life come into the world. But the images can be scary and eventually become "the best birth control" EVER produced! This has been viewed as both good and bad in my life. I'm now 28 with no kids and unmarried. All by choice as i'd rather be somewhat "set" before I bring my own into the world. The relationship between two siblings in a bigger age range isn't usually too bad.  Although, times do get tough when the older one starts to get their own things going on. As the younger one will still want to "just spend time" with their sibling, and the eldest will see these cries as an invasion of what they have going on. Nip this in the bud with a great deal of family activity together right away. If you don't already have a lot of this, step up now before the new child is conceived. It will help to avoid a "forceful" feeling of it later on!

Hope I was able to help! Good luck!

Answer 16

This is right time to plan to have second child. Your daughter is now 9 yrs old. she 'll take care her younger brother or sister as well as you. this is right time.. so don't waste time ... take a chance...... Wishing  your daughter for her  Brother.

Answer 17

There is 8 years and 3 weeks between my sister and myself and it SUCKS!  I'm 26 and I'm starting a family and she's 18 and starting college.  We aren't close as we have nothing really in common.  As children it sucked because I always got presents like my sister that weren't really for my age.  I had to share all my neat toys that weren't for her age group and she ALWAYS had to be included with my friends over and stuff and trust me at 16, you DO NOT want an 8 year old tag along.  In highschool I also couldn't join any clubs or really have a lot of friends as both of my parents worked shift work and I had to babysit and NEVER got paid to do it.  I ended up being a mother more than my mother to her.  I seriously would NOT wait until she is 9, unless you have no choice and it just 'happened'.  Anymore that about 4 years and it really is a big adjustment for the older child and it really isn't fair.  I went from being an only child to a big sister and I had to share everything, including my room and my parents.  I was never jealous of her, but looking back, I really got the short end of the stick.  She was more of my parent's favourite and got anything and everything.  I was the accident and the babysitter (how I felt).  Even today my parents pay more attention to her and her accomplishments and are closer to her.  She's 18 and still lives at home and they pay for everything, even though they are divorced. I have a 21 month old daughter and a son due in Sept and they never come to see them, but they will go to see her and take her places.  I moved out at 17 because I couldn't really stand it anymore.  I'm hoping that as she becomes older she loses some of her attitude in thinking she's all that and a bag of chips and we can be closer when and if she decides to start a family.  I'm very down to earth, easy going and don't really need much in the means of material things and she's VERY superficial and loves attention and craves to be better than me in everything, so I let her because I don't really care.

All that is the result of the difference of 8 years and my parents affluence on her.  WE both suffer because I never got all that I needed and she's got an inflated sense of value.  Unless you can treat them fairly and love them the same even though they are that far apart, I'd say don't do it.

Answer 18

no probably not

because theres a 9 year difference between me and my brother

its acutally good because she can also take care of the baby

and i think that by age 9 she'll realize that she might no get all the attention

Answer 19

WAYYYYYY to large of a gap. me and my sissy are 5yrs apart and its hard to get along. imagine what 9 years would be like

Answer 20

i would have to say yes, but the reason is is that at such a young age of your nine year old he may not be able to understand having someone new in the family as opposed to having seen at a younger age, i would say the right amount of years between another child is when your other child is up to age 6 and after 12, that way if before 6 he wont need to understand because his knowledge of the world is not as high and after 12 he will know enough about sharing (between ages 7-11 youre a bit self centered) to share the attention with the new member.