Is Her First Skating Competition Her Last?

Question

Our eight year old skated in her first competition this week and though she was very nervous, she did compete (Alpha Level). She left the ice and said she loved it and wanted to do it again. She ended up placing 1st out of six skaters total.

Now two days later she's decided she can't take the nervousness at all and doesn't want to compete again (she's been taking group lessons for 2 years, is in Freestyle 2, and had some private coaching off and on). We've been told she has natural talent, but we don't want to force her to compete again. We were hoping that her courage to compete and her abilities would give her self-confidence but instead she doesn't want go through it again. Should we just drop it? Is there something we can say to help her? We know it's so normal to be nervous, but we also want her to do this for herself, not for us. She also said she "might" want to compete at her home rink but that's three competitions from now (spring or summer next year) and her coach wants her to train for one that is three months from now, to get more experience.

Thanks for any kind words!

Answer 1

You might want to talk to her coach about it.  Explain that your daughter doesn't really want to compete right now and you don't want to push her.  The coach (if she/he's a good coach) should understand.  If your daughter is on the fence about competing again, the coach might be able to say something to her that encourages her to try it again.  

If she really doesn't want to compete right now, just let her take lessons, do some testing, do a club show/exhibition, maybe even join a synchro team, and just have fun with it.  After she forgets some of the nerves (and sees her friends competing & bringing home medals), she just might want to give competitions another try.  :)

Answer 2

push her not to the breaking point but push her so she knows that she can belive in herself take her to a stars on ice exhibition or a big skating competition so she can feel inspired if that doesn't work dont take her out of skating she would definitely regret it just space skating let her do some other sports and also skating on the side

Answer 3

As she gets farther removed from the nervous feeling, she will remember the excitement and probably change her mind.  Don't push it though, some people thrive on the competition and others don't.  That doesn't mean she shouldn't skate and test and do what she loves and has a talent for.

Answer 4

I would not take her out of skating, there is more to skating then competing, let her keep testing. Does your arena have ice shows? Most likely your daughter will be in a group number with her friends and that may take the edge off her being so nervous in front of crowds.

There is also synchronized and compulsory teams that she may do well at also. She could possible go to the Olympics in synchronized skating  when she's around 16+ old and or some colleges have scholarship for synchronized skater if they have synchronized team there.  She's so young and if she enjoys skating and does well at it no need to take her out because of stage fright.

I have two older daughters that have been skating for 17 years and have competed and tested to their senior level and are now coaching making a good income. Their father and I felt that keeping our girls in skating and having them coach was a good backup up plan to a college education.  

Best of luck with your daughter.  .

Answer 5

Just give her time.  Let her enjoy skating and she may change her mind on her own.  Also, remember how we all used to say things when we were younger only to take them back later!!  :)  It is possible that once she sees all her friends at the rink skating in competitions all over the place, she'll get the itch to do it again too.  I did that -- I felt so left out when I first started skating and wasn't ready to compete.  I wanted to go too!!!  Everyone was spending weekends in hotels with swimming pools and coming home with medals and I was left practicing alone at the rink for the weekend.  :(  I don't really know of any skater who claims to not get nervous before a test or competition-- no matter how many they do, but after doing a few, you learn how to deal with the stress, how you respond to the stress and how to get it to work for you rather than against you.  

Maybe she just enjoys the skating and not really the "hoopla" that goes with it.  I had a skater in private and group lessons who caught on very quickly and had some promise.  She just couldn't get herself to perform in front of people.  I didn't pressure her, but I think her mom did a little.  I choreographed a program for her, just to have something to work on for fun -- and if she did decide she wanted to perform, she'd already have something she was comfortable with.  She did a group number with me for our clubs annual Christmas exhibition, but couldn't be on the ice alone.  She really had no interest in competing or testing, other than watching her friends skate.  I think she really liked skating and really liked the friends she made at the rink, but mom wanted her to do it all and she just knew deep down that didn't want to.  She only skated for about a year and a half, but I think she got burned out on it because mom had her at the rink all the time, trying to get her to practice.  We were all pretty bummed when she stopped skating cuz she was a great kid!  If it were on the child's terms, she may still be skating, but now, according to mom, she enjoys showing off for her school friends on their skating field trips, but that's the extent of her skating.

Give her time and maybe let her ask you about competitions.  If she's still skating and at the rink, she'll hear others talking about it and may become interested again.....especially if they're skaters she knows she can beat!  :)  haha  I'd talk to the coach with your daughter present and let the coach know that your daughter doesn't really want to compete again because she gets so nervous.  The coach should be understanding of that.  If your daughter knows you spoke to the coach about it, maybe she'll feel like that is some pressure off of her and she'll feel a little more free to just skate.  If she doesn't want compete and gets pushed, she'll probably shut down on skating all together.  If she's allowed to work it all out in her head on her own, she might decide to give it another shot.

Good luck to you and your daughter!!!  :)