Is Modern Man the Victim of Mixed Messages?

Question

He must be considerate and sensitive, yet at the same time strong and assertive.

A lover who will take the lead, be confident yet at the same time, satisfy her in every way Cosmopolitan can describe, and be a failure if he doesn't.

His material success is unimportant compared to his sense of humor and his stunning smile, but at the same time, he does have a pad in the Hamptons and drive a nice new Mercedes.

Can Men Be What Women Want...when women don't seem to know?

Is Modern Man the Victim of Mixed Messages?

Answer 1

This is not a modern problem, it is something that has been going on for a very long time, we are simply more aware of "problems" now, which I am not sure is such a good thing as all we have accomplished is to make the world a scary difficult place to live in where we are constantly feeling like we must be perfect and too many things all at the same time.  

So yes Modern Man is a victim of mixed messages, however so is man in almost every era I suspect.  

Answer 2

If one watches Hollywood movies or Television or reads these so-called women's magazines, then the answer is "yes". Those mediums are sending out mixed messages.

I have found that, sadly, many young women have unrealistic views on what a man is supposed to do or be. I'm sure that can be terribly frustrating for a guy. ♥ ∞

Answer 3

men are supposed to be an actor in a one-man show, who has enough costumes to play any part the "audience of one" dictates

Answer 4

Only if you believe the messages rather than having a mind of your own.  "Real men" eat quiche, drive economical small cars for the economic benefit not the status and really don't give a c**p about what anyone else thinks or says about it.  As bella said earlier, if you find a woman who is more interested in the image you project than the person you are ... walk in the other direction.

Answer 5

Men still face the sexist standard of being success objects - strong and infallible protectors, unable to bleed.

Answer 6

I just pursue a woman who knows what she wants.  I hear women contradict themselves all the time.  That's a sign that I don't need to bother with them more than what's necessary.

My current gf is not schizophrenic. She does not want me to kick trees ,step on bugs, be sensitive, eco-conscious and patronizing to Banana Republic all at once.  A modern man or woman only suffers as much as he/she allows themself to be forced to compromise on what they truly believe in.

Answer 7

Yes, It is a difficult time for men who try to live up to an artificial ideal.  Perhaps they should just live their own life and find their own way.  Women are told what they are supposed to like in men, but often find that this standard doesn't make them happy.  Eventually it all comes down to the individual.

Answer 8

I don't give a flying c**p what women expect us Men to be. I will do as I please for the rest of my life. WOMEN will NEVER control this man.

Answer 9

Some women do have unrealistic expectations of men.

By the time they've figured this out, it's too late.

And some women primarily date jerks

The rest of them just learn by trial and error.

My advice to anyone dealing with indecisive women is just to let them be on their way. There are plenty of women to choose from. Too many women are looking for the whole package or someone who's rich, instead of someone who just makes them feel good. I work with a lot of women and I can't tell how many times some of them get stuck liking a guy who treats them like c**p just because the guy has a good career and makes lots of money.

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Answer 10

Mixed messages are all around us, affecting both men and women.

Recognizing them as contradictory is the first step in rejecting them.  Recognizing them enables you to NOT be victim.  

I also support everything Permaculture bella said.

Answer 11

you hit the nail on the head.  we are expected to be everything that they see on soap operas & MTV.

Answer 12

Men will always epic fail.  It's the sad fate for all men, as women are the more primitive and primal creatures as they claim certain features are necessary in men.  Of the two, men ,though enjoys s*x searches for a women who suits him and is beautiful and complements him.  Women wants a human bag to carry around and flaunt.  

So to answer your question we are victims of mixed messages, but we don't have to be.  You can choose your own path and look for women who are looking for your qualities.  

My opinion:  Evolution of thinking ->  Women want strong brutish men

then wants good looking men that look handsome and speaks well,

and now women wants men who have money, security.

Men:  Men wants s*x... real men commits and want kids

Men wants s*x...  real men looks for other half

Men wants s*x... no longer physical attraction but now a necessary emotioal output for expressing true love.  

The truth is ... Men will more likely get with a not so pretty girl more often a women getting with a not so pretty man.  These are the victims of mixed messages the leftover men who don't get chosen and don't know what to do.

Answer 13

'He must be considerate and sensitive, yet at the same time strong and assertive'.

Don't see any contradiction there at all, they are complimentary traits, not opposing ones.

'A lover who will take the lead, be confident yet at the same time, satisfy her in every way Cosmopolitan can describe, and be a failure if he doesn't'

Don't see any contradiction here either, unless you are suggesting that Cosmopolitan is saying that a man should not be confident and try to satisfy his partner?

'His material success is unimportant compared to his sense of humor and his stunning smile, but at the same time, he does have a pad in the Hamptons and drive a nice new Mercedes'

Now you are either being a drama queen, or you meet the wrong women! For most, I believe it is about having a fully rounded partner, who is capable of supporting himself, or if not, in contributing to the household in other ways if that is what the couple decide. As for the Hamptons and Mercedes, how many 'regular' people ever actually attain this, the wealthy tend to date the wealthy (or the exceptionally beautiful) they have more choice that is all. Don't see the contradiction here at all.

'Can Men Be What Women Want...when women don't seem to know?'

Now for me this is the best thought of the whole question. Men should be who they are and be selective in who they chose as partners. A lot of women know what they want in a man. For those who don't, then leave them alone. For those who don't need and want a man to be a man, then leave those women alone too.

Is Modern Man the Victim of Mixed Messages?

Only if he reads all the cr** that comes his way. Be a man and only read those messages that reinforce your own views. If somebody doesn't know themselves well enough to be honest, open and direct, then, don't read their messages at all.

Answer 14

yes men are the victims of mixed messages.Women expect "prince charming" (which are the things you described) they want men to be perfect and when they don't get what they were expecting,they become upset.

no woman will control me.

Answer 15

The ultimate victim of these mixed messages is likely to be Western Civilization, particularly the English-speaking part of it.  If the pop culture sets a standard very few men can meet and still keep their sanity, more men will say "F___ it!", go their own way, and leave Western women and the System to their own devices.  Mike Hunt's answer is a case in point.

Answer 16

Just be yourself, that's all.  

Answer 17

I don't think it's a mixed message so much as I think men are expected to be everything at once.  We're supposed to work 60 hours a week and make tons of money for the family but still do AT LEAST as much work with the kids, for instance (to add to everything you already mentioned).  

Answer 18

i hate things like this dont be so foolish why do you just believe the media. why not be an individual person with your own mind. you could say that women need to be this that and the other to get men.

how many men do you know like the one you have justy described but there are millions of people out there in marriages and comited relationships. stop worrying about stupid things like this and live in the real world.