Is My Mother In Law wrong?

Question

sorry I know I just asked a super long ? but this is a serious one.

MY mother in law has always treated my daughters like c**p.If its not one its the other she treats like this. My brother in law has 2 kids and one really isn't even his but thats a dif. story and she treats them like royalty!She buys them everything they want and pretty much throws it in my daughters' faces by showing them the stuff and saying "look what I bought sis and bub" that is what she calls their kids and she calls mine and my hubby's by their full names. Don't know if this is sufficient(I think it is) but she treated my hubby like $hit when he was younger.When he got hurt he was told to suck it up,when his brother got hurt it was straight to the hospital. His brother always got pick of what to eat and Brian(hubby) got what was left...just on and on.

Well when my first daughter was born she did not want nething to do with her because she was a girl.When she started comin around she treated her like a boy,

Answer 1

Yes your mother in law is wrong, she is being mean and horrible and cruel i think you should stick up for your self when your in your own house, your husband should start sticking up for his wife and kids too

Stand your ground

Good luck

Answer 2

From my own experience with my exes mom, its probably the total opposite of what your thinking. She did the same thing with her sons but it was because their was a weak one who got picked on. So, she treated him like a baby and told the others to suck it up. If she didnt treat your husband that way and she doesnt treat your kids that way, I would take it as a compliment. It means that she knows that you are all ok and that your husband can take care of you all. My mom does the same thing with me and my sister and our kids. My mom favors my sister (who is younger than me) because my dad didnt want a second child and she feels guilty, like she has to make up for that fact. And she favors my sisters daughter because my sister and her daughters father arent together so she feels like she is losing out on something so she gets her whatever she wants while me and my kid just sit here getting nothing. it does kind of suck but in the end, it makes me feel good knowing that I am doing a good job as a mom and that people notice.

As far as favoring boys, shes just retarded. i have heard of people being like that. But just ignore it. i hope this helps.

Answer 3

You're not wrong. Why would you want someone who's so hateful and conniving around your kids? Besides she's a pill popper, that's not cool around kids.

Answer 4

Keep her away from your kids.  They are much better off without such a negative influence in their lives.

Answer 5

Sounds a bit like "Everybody Loves Raymond" I know what you mean in some ways my MIL-to-be babies my fiance and I wish he had a backbone with her sometimes because he is her older child. (only by a year but it bugs me anyway because he's almost 32)

Answer 6

Yes, definitely. She should treat everyone with respect.

Keep your kids away from her. She obviously has issues.  My grandmother (my mom's mother) was partial to my cousins, we just stayed away from her when we could. No sense in causing your kids to have some type of complex because of her bad treatment.  

Or you and your husband can confront her about it.

Answer 7

Sounds like she is verbally abusive.  I wouldn't let my kids anywhere near her.

Answer 8

It's sad but true that some parents play favorites. Not only does the child suffer, but his/her kids, too.

Sure it's wrong. It even sounds like talking to her won't help. She may get some sick satisfaction out of what she's doing. I don't know.

For your own benefit, it might help to try to talk to her about it, just once, so you can feel like you tried. If she's not receptive, I'd limit her time with them. It's not fair to your kids to feel less loved.

I'd say something like, I notice that you seem to make more of an effort with (your brother-in-law)'s kids and I wanted to know if I'm way off here, or if you have some reason for treating them differently.

See what she says, but don't be surprised if you have to defend your opinion and end the conversation with something like, I'm sorry this upset you, if I notice something like that again, can I point it out to you so we can talk about it?

Good luck, and I hope this helps. If it doesn't, you really should try to avoid her. In-laws are NOT immediate family, especially if their relationships with your children aren't healthy.

Answer 9

I hate to say it but your MIL sounds a brick short of the load in some ways. Who buys boys clothing for a GIRL?!! That is odd in itself, but the fact that she is playing favorites and so plain and blatantly saying she is in front of your kids- I don't know how you held back on her this long.

If it were me I'd tell her that because she can not respect all her grandchildren equally and the fact that she treats your daughters so disrespectfully (and I would site examples like what you gave here) that you are no longer going to subject your children to her negativity and attitudes because they do not need to be exposed to that. If she treated your hubby poorly chances are the negative comments about him probably fly around from her mouth as well and the kids, yours or anyone else for that matter hearing negativity about their dad (your husband) is totally unacceptable.  Until she grows up and gets it together to first treat your daughters like GIRLS and secondly to stop with her favoritism and negative comments and ways I'd make it clear you will not be visiting at her home and she is not welcome in yours until she can grow up and get it together- which will include giving up her obvious addictions to prescription drugs.

Grandparents should be happy with any grandkids they  have and treat them all like the blessings they are rather than something smelly they stepped in on the bottom of their shoe.  Take it from someone having issues with inlaws and draw the line and put a stop to it.  If she gets ticked and decides to cut you off or not see you again, good riddance. It doesn't sound like she's that much of an asset anyway.  Your children deserve better than that and need to be told that the things grandma does are not appropriate or right in how she treats them and it's ok if they feel hurt and angry.

Answer 10

She sounds crazy.  It won't do any good to exchange words.  

Just try to be the better person.  Your husband will soon realize.  If you are going to 'exchange words' with her, do it with a smile and sugary sweet voice.  She'll know what you mean, and you won't come off loooking like a SUPER B.

Answer 11

Sounds like the making of a good Dr Phil episode......

Yes, the MIL is being unfair and perpetuating the mental anguish seh put your husband through as a child.

Break off contact and wait for her to respond: then get your husband to confront her about it. Be supportive of your husabnd but he must take the lead in  this situation.

Answer 12

If I was you anytime I knew she was going to come over I would take the kids the kids and go somewhere until she leaves. Until she can grow up I would tell your husband that your kids do not need to be around that emotional abuse.

Answer 13

simple question:  why would you allow someone to continue abusing your husband and your children?

kick that byotch to the curb, eh?