Is This At Least Decent?

Question

Um, I Wrote this and wanted to know what others thought about it.... especially the ending.

http://atiwolf.deviantart.com/art/Do-Pillows-Hug-Back-92423211

Thanks for any criticisms?

Answer 1

It's Okay

Answer 2

It's not bad for getting while falling asleep.

You're good, especially with really going into details.

I don't get the wine part, if it's wine, wouldn't that be alcohol?

A good sturdy and precise beginning.

I like the showing the typical girlfriend, "Is she cuter than me?"

I think when you wrote, "Don't tell be to be myself" I'm sure you meant "Don't tell me to be myself."

I'm not sure about the ending, it's good, the only thing is that was that all a dream? Was talking to Allie a dream or did you fall asleep talking to her and then woke up later?

Those and a few spelling mistakes here and there, no one's perfect.

It was very good and well thought out, the details and setting and everything like that. Not too bad.

Great job! Keep it up!

I think you might have something there, fix a few things maybe here and there, tweak it up a little, you could have something.

Good luck!