Is What My Husband Did Abuse?

Question

My soon to be ex-husband would tickle me about 3-4 times a week, and I know that normal tickling isn't abuse at all, but I have severe asthma and when he'd start tickling he wouldn't quit until I had a full-blown asthma attack. I'd beg and plead for him to stop, but there wasn't a single time when he quit before I had an asthma attack... ever. Then he'd apologize and ask if I was okay. It was so bad I'd worry I was going to land in a hospital or worse. He would even do this while I was pregnant. Now, whenever anyone even acts like they might tickle me, I have a panic attack. Am I over-reacting, or was he abusing me?

Answer 1

If you told him to stop because it was bothering  your asthma, then you d**n right it was abuse...divorce him...sounds like hes trying to make  you really sick you end up in the hospital...

Answer 2

Sounds like abuse to me. He knew you had a pre-exsisting condition and did something that could threaten your health and your life. You expressly told him to stop and he didn't. He didn't respect your boundaries. Thank god he is going to be your ex.

Answer 3

it was abuse and your not over reacting even when your been tickled and you cant stop laughing and they wont get off its the worse feeling so i feel awful for you to go through asthma attacks aswell.

It was even worse he did it too you when you were pregnant putting you and your child in danger. Maybe it was not physical punching and hitting but it was still abuse

Answer 4

I wouldn't go as far as to call it Abuse, but what i would say is"Is he F'ing crazy", i mean he knows that u have asthma, and he persists in tickling u nonstop, what is wrong with him, and worse yet he did it while u were pregnant, he's really crazy.

He needs to stop with all the games, and u need to talk to him seriously about your attacks that you have, let him know if he doesn't stop you will have to leave him for a while until he can stop with it, your health is more important than him!

Answer 5

well I think that you are right on making him your ex. if he was doing this until you had an attack you could have died, so yes I would say that this is some sort of abuse. My brothers used to tickle me until I peed my pants, and now when my husband tickles me I kind of pee a little, so I really understand. You are not over-reacting it is just what you are afraid of and this is what you have to overcome.

Answer 6

As a fellow asthmatic I know exactly where you are coming from. Yes, it was abusive if he proceeded with ANY action which he knew would result in you having health problems, especially one as severe as an asthma attack. It is terrifying when it happens, and you are gasping for a breath that just won't come. That was abusive.

But as a fellow asthmatic I have a piece of advice for you. Go to your doctor and get onto a preventative medication. It sounds like your asthma is way out of control, and there are medications out there that can keep you more stable, and lessen the chances of an exercise induced attack. And that's coming from someone who's asthma had landed her in hospital, with complications. Since the preventative regime, I haven't even had more than a mild attack for 7 years! Do this for yourself, because you do have a choice here. Take charge of your health, like you have chosen to take control of your life. You are worth it!

Answer 7

I think he has some freaking problems!

Answer 8

Its definately not okay. Talk to him about it.  Have a great night!

Answer 9

It was abuse. He had to prove to himself that he had that power over you.

Answer 10

that is abuse. if he did not stop when you ask him to then it turn into abuse, that is not funny when it gets that bad, myg,father would do us kids that way he would not stop if we were crying sometimes i lost my breath, that is abuse.

Answer 11

if you had that much of a problem with the tickling, told him to stop and he knew about your asthma then i would say that qualifies as abuse

Answer 12

Well, he might do it for you to have s*x with him or he just wants to make you laugh

Answer 13

That is abuse.  Tickling mercilessly is actually a sign of sadism.

Answer 14

Definitely abuse. He wasn't thinking of you only himself and what he wants to do. Most people don't like to be tickled until they cant breath for crying out loud! I tickle my boyfriend all the time, but he likes it generally and I know when to stop. And that's not when he passes out from lack of oxygen!

Answer 15

Dictionary.com defines abuse as follows:

a·buse verb, a·bused, a·bus·ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1. to use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one's authority.  

2. to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way: to abuse a horse; to abuse one's eyesight.  

3. to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign.  

4. to commit sexual assault upon.  

5. Obsolete. to deceive or mislead.–noun

6. wrong or improper use; misuse: the abuse of privileges.  

7. harshly or coarsely insulting language: The officer heaped abuse on his men.  

8. bad or improper treatment; maltreatment: The child was subjected to cruel abuse.  

9. a corrupt or improper practice or custom: the abuses of a totalitarian regime.  

10. rape or sexual assault.  

11. Obsolete. deception.—Idiom

12. abuse oneself, to m********e.

So, according to the second definition, I would say yes, it is abuse

Answer 16

Sometimes I think that if you can't decide "abuse or not abuse, abuse or not abuse??" then it was probably abuse.

However, more specifically

If it had only happened once, then I would have told you no. But because he has done it multiple times, then yes. This is abuse.

Answer 17

Ummm, yes, I would think.

Answer 18

8he's weird

Answer 19

he knew what he was doing was wrong, and the apology was not for real he just say that to put you at ease... Next time he tries something like that let the hospital and police know whats going on!

Answer 20

How horrible.........but I give you most the blame b/c you obviously never had a very serious convo about it or Im sure he would have stopped...

Answer 21

If somebody wilfully and purposefully does something that leads to physical pain or sickness to another, it's abuse in my opinion.

Answer 22

He was abusing you, yes. Do you even have to ask? Good for you for making him your EX.

Answer 23

It was abusive and dangerous, be glad he's an ex.

Answer 24

I think deep down you already know. It is abuse. And thank god he is your ex!

Answer 25

If you tell someone not to do something that's hurting you and they keep doing it, thats abuse.

Answer 26

Sure, its abuse.

He blatantly disregarded your serious health condition and continued tickling you for his self entertainment.  

Answer 27

Its abusing a power when someone does something when you tell them to stop.

Sooooo YES! he was!

What a bad boy! thats mean :(

Answer 28

He sounds like a total psycho. Get rid of him.

Answer 29

Aw, well that sux, but I don't think it is abuse. I mean if he was like hitting you and stuff  then yeah he was...But sometimes guys do NOT know when to quit. 98% of them are retarted and can't get the message! (I hope your all right by the way!)

Answer 30

according to manitoba law that is abuse *** well as domestic assault. no person shall touch another person that has not welcomed the touch. open to interpretation but the first day zero tolerance for domestic assault was passed, i was hauled off to jail charged with it. i hugged my then wife! that was assault? got 90 days for it too!