Is a 6 year old , old enough for the chapel of rest?

Question

Our daughter lost her great nan who she was very very close to , when we had to tell her she had " gone to heaven" she was devastated that she was not able to say goodbye and after a few days is still adament that she has to say goodbye to her nan, but we are stuck as wether or not to let her see her nan "sleeping" so she can say goodbye properly.

Can a 6yr old handle this type of emotion? as far as she is concerned that would be her nan just sleeping and waiting to be taken back to heaven again.

It would break my heart to mention the "died" word to her as she defiantly doesnt understand that part of life yet.

Any opinions on this would be great

thank you

Answer 1

I can tell you from my own personal experience with my 3 children that it is better to just be honest with them. To tell a child that their loved one is sleeping is very confusing for them. I was just honest with my kids, as hard as it was. Of course my 2 youngest really didn't get it, but I bought some books on the subject- there are some great ones on Amazon.com and at Barnes & Noble bookstore. My oldest was able to understand much more and she knew that her grandpa was dead and it meant she would never see him again here on Earth, but that didn't mean he wasn't still in her memories and in her heart! Just try to explain in very basic terms that she is dead which means what I just said, and that its ok to feel sad or angry or whatever feeling they have! Children need to be given a chance to grieve in their own way. Perhaps you could do something special too such as have her write something to her great Nan, and attach it to a balloon, or draw a picture, or anything she would like! That really helped my kids. Hope this helps and I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

If she wants to go let her go and say goodbye.  It seems to me that your daughter knows far more than YOU give her credit knowing.

Answer 3

I wouldn't ! Look up waterbugs and dragonflies on the internet and read it to her, or buy her it at a christian bookshop! It really helps explain death to kids, and adults too!

Answer 4

I think it all depends on the child. If you think she can handle it then it might be ok but you are going to half to explain it better. This kinda thing can be hard for a child. My aunt passed away last month and I didn't take my kids cause I thought that they would play and act a fool at the service. But they are boys well the older ones are I also didn't think that they were ready .