Is a destined love more appealing than a forbidden love?

Question

When reading or watching a story/movie, is the 'destined' or 'meant-to-be' love or the forbidden/impossible love more interesting to the viewer? With whom do the readers sympathize? Is the idea of the fated lovers, 'true love,' or love at first sight becoming less intriguing or less plausible in modern times? I notice a lot of contemporary stories involve cheating, adultery, or unfaithfulness, with the readers' sympathy driven towards the unfaithful relationship rather than the original couple. Is this a trend in modern literature? What cultural forces are at work? I am interested in any and all opinions, I really want to see the range of what readers/viewers think.

Answer 1

Definitely 'destined' or 'meant-to-be' true love because you wish that you had your true lover, but a lot of people don't. Forbidden love is too common but you can relate to it easier.

Answer 2

First, I'd probably point out that it's not just contemporary stories that deal a lot with adultery and unfaithfulness. These are themes that people have found universally interesting and distressing for a long time, so they tend to make good story material. Even the Bible's got adultery stories in it! Adultery may be something that has a heftier existence in the public consciousness at the moment, but that's not really the same thing.

Second, I'd probably summarize things simply. People tend to gravitate towards stories they can identify with (gravitate, not flock to exclusively). Cheaters and those who have been cheated, as well as people who are worried about it or thinking about it, on will probably be drawn to stories about cheaters, for one reason or another. And vice versa. Furthermore, forbidden love tends to be something that is short lived, especially compared to destined love, so it depends on the person's point of view and the timescale they are interested in.

Answer 3

In fantasy , the forbidden love is probably more interesting .

  In reality a true love is all that counts . How you arrive at it is irrelevant.

Answer 4

IN LITERATURE

You are probably right about literary trends leaning more towards dishonest and dishonorable relationships.  Art and life imitate each other to the degree that cause and effect sometimes become fused into a continuing circle without a detectable beginning or end.

We live in an age where people in real life flaunt all sorts of negative and hurtful behavior patterns on confrontational daytime talk shows as if they were something to be proud of, and infidelity is right up there on the top of the list - so it can hardly surprise anyone to find this reflected in popular literature.

In fictional reading, I DO prefer an honorable relationship between the characters, simply because that is what I believe in and practice in real life., so it is what I better identify with.

However, as to whether the lovers are an automatic match or have to struggle against some kind of odds to develop their relationship, I don't think I have an overall preference.  It depends on the writer's style and intelligence level, the way the plot is developed and laid out and most importantly how the characters, themselves, are developed and presented.

IN REAL LIFE

I have had two great loves in my own life - and neither involved any cheating or infidelity, but with the idea of dishonesty and dishonorable behavior out of the picture, they still fit the two scenarios you mention.

FATED LOVE

The first was love-at-first-sight and the marriage lasted 28 years.  (It would probably be 39 years, now, if he were still alive.)  I will always believe we have been mates through many incarnations over many centuries - maybe even millenia.

LOVE AGAINST THE ODDS

The second, my current boyfriend, was a relationship with some definite strikes against it from the start:

<> ... Educational differences - I have always valued a good solid education and was hoping to meet a college grad, but he was forced out of an abusive home at the age of 13 and his education abruptly stopped right there.  When we met on the internet, I could hardly decipher his messages through all the mangled mis-spellings and butchered grammar.

<> ... Geographic differences - We quickly discovered that we lived about 200 miles apart.

<> ... Economic problems - Once we realized that we loved eachother and wanted to be together for the rest of our lives, we also discovered that marriage would cost him the vitally important medical coverage that is keeping him alive.  So we just live together - which leads into the NEXT problem.

<> ... Religious problems - I am VERY SPIRITUAL, but not the LEAST bit religious.  He was once very religious, but turned more spiritual in his later years.  However, his children are all still very religious and strongly disapprove of me and our relationship.

So I have personally experienced both the easy-on relationship and the harder-to-get-into relationship and I would have to say that it is the quality of the PERSON, not the circumstances that make the quality of the relationship in real life.  As much as I loved my husband and thought we were forever soul-mates, if I could have him back alive and well today, I would not give up my current boyfriend for him.