Is a good feminist a bad mother?

Question

Daughter of feminist icon Alice Walker (author of The Color Purple) thinks so. Here are some quotes from an interview with Rebecca Walker:

“I think sometimes of that group and that feminism as being close to a cult. I feel I had to de-programme myself in order to have independent thought”

“My mother is very ideologically based, and her ideology is much more important in many ways than her personal relationships”

“My mother’s a crusader for daughters around the world, but couldn’t see that her own daughter was having a difficult time. When Rebecca became pregnant at 14, Walker wasn’t shocked: she calmly picked up the phone and arranged an abortion".

“...mother and daughter are estranged with little hope of reconciliation. ...Their last meaningful exchange...ended in Walker sending a terse e-mail in which she resigned from “the job” of being her mother...”

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article3866798.ece

Is a good feminist a bad mother?

Answer 1

No, just a very poor father.

Answer 2

It depends. I know feminist that love their children dearly and they come first but I also know feminist that put everything else first in the name of feminis and I think they should had had their tubes tied.

Answer 3

Yes I know two women who have been left scared by their mothers convictions.

Answer 4

To dumb *** stepford wife:  

They should make do and clean other peoples houses?  what magic mushrooms are you on?   You clean other peoples **** not me.

Answer 5

yes i think so,

my mother for instance is quite firm in many aspects and i think she is right.... she is still a good mother, it had nothing to do with her being a feminist... i guess it is easy though, igven that my father agrees with her views

Answer 6

First of all, it would be prudent to note than even traditionalist females don't let men actively parent children, so you can bet feminist mothers won't. The bad stuff starts from here.

A good feminist need not necessarily be a bad parent, but she is surely not the ideal mother. Feminists have spent their lives fighting for women (many of whom already have equal rights, but don't know when or where to stop), so they only grew up and worked seeing the world one way: as an evil, male-dominated patriarchal society about to gobble up all the pure, virtuous women.

And I would be surprised if they didn't pass on some of their ideas to their children. All parents influence their child's social and religious beliefs.

I know many students in my school who're constantly made to feel apologetic for their gender and existence by their parents. Constant comparison with swotty sisters was common. Even teachers, especially female ones, never fail to mention (by implication, often indirect) at least once a month how boys are problems to be solved and girls angels to be cared for. The fact that boys in my school consistently, year after year, outperform girls does not matter.

It happens in any school. In my school, they boys get punished if the girls make noise. We have to undergo the classic corporal punishment: kneel down in front of the prinicipal's office, get a good whack on both hands with a wooden footrule and stern talking-to from princie. All for a crime we didn't commit. And the girls are only forced to sit and read something.

You only have to look around. The world is an unrelenting pep-rally for girls. One teacher in school, years ago, had the audacity to state exactly what you posted earlier: boys and men are inherently more violent, shabby and disorganized. I could see the reaction. The girls were sitting with inflated egos and puffed-up chests (not written in a preverted sense) while the boys were squashed in their seats, silently apologizing for their existence and their gender, guilty of a heinous crime: being born male.

"Go girls, boo boys!" "Boys are stupid let's throw rocks at them!" are popular and common phrases.

THIS is what causes misogyny.

Men aren't misogynist by default, unlike what feminists have been promotng for decades and promote today.

You can bet your life that if a feminist mothered a boy, he would, at an almost regular basis, be made to feel guilty for being born male.  And if she mothered a girl, she would feed her with these ideas about inherently violent males and virtuous females.

Which isn't good at all, because at some point in life, both genders have to work in the same office, and these ideas will create a disturbance.

Answer 7

I have said it many times.

Feminism puts womens rights before the rights of children and the rights of men.

Feminism believes only women have "rights" to equality. Children and men do not share those rights.

Answer 8

I'm no feminist. That's my disclaimer.

I truly believe that every child needs a father. A father who is active in their life. That being said, feminist women don't generally believe this. I think that a lot of feminists don't believe that men are necessary to raising children, so I think that the more ideological you are (in regards to feminism) the less attention you pay to reality. Sometimes what you think is ideal isn't what's best for your child, feminist or not.

Answer 9

definitely - and a bad feminist as they shouldn't have children in the first place

Answer 10

This doesn't say anything about feminists. It says something about ONE feminist who let her politics get in the way of her family. It can be the same for any ideology; my mom is so fervently pro-Israel that I can't even bring myself to say that I support a Palestinian state.

Personally, Rebecca Walker annoys the h**l out of me; apparently she goes to colleges to lecture undergrads about the importance of planning to have babies. It's an important lesson for mothers-to-be, obviously, but my college girlfriends and I are too busy trying NOT to have babies; we can hear it some other time.

Answer 11

Yes, they make bad mothers.

Any ilk that places priority of a cause over that of being a parent is a failure.

Hardcore feminist seek to indoctrinate not educate, children are not soldier to be used in a cause they are children to be cherished and encouraged. Far too many women are missing out on their greatest moments because they ignore nature and place their children second or third in life.

Answer 12

What percentage of feminists do you think are "crusaders around the world"? The independently wealthy ones? OK...so the other 99.999999% of feminists merely like to live their lives as equals. I don't march. I don't demonstrate. I don't teach girls in third-world countries.

I cut my daughter's green beans into little pieces each night so she can pick them up and eat them, because she likes to feed herself now. I read "Good Night Moon" to her before bed.

Isn't it ironic when the raving zealots accuse normal people of zealotry?

Answer 13

yes.like communist,meanies.they need to leqarn how to chill and treat their child like a good ol happy american mom that takes them to movies,parks,etc

Answer 14

Alice Walker was very famous is known for choosing her dedication to feminism over her daughter.  You forgot to mention that Rebecca is a third wave feminist herself and a mother, and planning to have more children, showing that she thinks motherhood and feminism can exist.  She rejects how her own mother treated her not how feminists treat their children.  Motherhood is a prevalent issue for third wave feminists.  One bad mother does not mean that all feminists are bad mothers.  Stop generalizing!!!!!

Answer 15

The same argument could be used for any parent who holds strong ideological ideas on a wide range of subjects, be it feminism,socialism, environmentalism, veganism , even some religious views .

People who hold strong views make what others would see as sacrifices themselves to try attain their ideal life, so its no surprise to say they would want their children to try attain these ideals too.    But to say 'a good feminist makes a bad mother'  sounds like  typical tabloid sensationalist lazy journalism to me, because its never that simple or straight forward.

Answer 16

This woman is obviously a nut job and she offered her daughter up as sacrifice for the cause.  A person who chases  any  pursuit(a movement, a cause, a hobby, a career, a religion) at the expense of his/her child/children is irresponsible and selfish.

Answer 17

I think that any person for whom ideas are central to existence - I'm talking about activists and "academics" rather than people who merely identify with a particular position - are basically destined to make bad parents.

Answer 18

It is easy to say that this is true , but it is not always the case. If the feminist is extremely pro feminist and are against everything that is different , then yes, because of beliefs, they will be biased in the upbringing of their children ,depending if the child was male or female. They most likely teach their daughters to despise or mistrust men , and their sons, that they are not worthy of her love. All extremist are a cult in some fashion, and as most cult have in the past have shown, their judgement and wisdom on matters will likely end up causing many undesired results within society. Any one who is extreme one way or another caused harm to their own cause , but moderation and understanding of both sides must be taken into account. A moderate feminist can be a wonderful mother , but if the feminist is said to be an extremist then most likely her judgement would be clouded and she will not raise their offspring with wisdom and compassion as they really should.

Answer 19

This is my question, Why can't a Feminist just know that she has the options of being a working mom if some emergency comes along? I don't think that all working women are doing so because they cannot afford to stay home. My husband was making $24,000/year when we got married and we made it work. We had a nice apartment, but we made it nice. It fit into what we really could afford, we drove old cars(that worked fine) we didn't have cable or internet, we moved close to his job so that we didn't have to spend a lot on gas. We shopped at Aldi instead of the local grocery store and we were never on any government support programs. We qualified, but we didn't want to feel as though we were on welfare. ALSO, we had money to spare! It can be done on one income, you just have to make sure thhat you don't have a huge expensive house payment and huge car payments. We are almost debt free too(except for our new van we just bought)! We are planning on buying a house for $35,000 and fixing it up. I think we will appreciate it much more when it is done than we would a house we didn't put our sweat and blood into. This is a big investment for us because if we spend $20,000 fixing it up, we could easily sell it for $135,000 and make a $100,000 profit. That's a lot of money where I live!

So where I am getting at is, most women don't have to be working mothers, they just need to budget and find other ways to make money like selling their old clothes, cleaning other peoples houses, doing art projects, etc.... It isn't hard at all to live with what little your husband makes, just down size what expensive things you have. Materialistic things don't make you happy, it is the freedom to watch your family blossom and bloom into beautiful human beings!

Answer 20

That's a good question.  I guess so, if the mother is so extreme that she puts an ideology before her child.