Is a guy at 18, and a girl at 24 too young to have a baby willingly? and live together?

Question

My girlfriend thinks we shouldw ait to move in together, yet she is making obvious signs that she wants a baby. she thinks i'm not prepared. i'm 18 and ready and willing to support her and a baby. i'm still going to go to college, and i have a few secondary ways of getting money, little computer repair thing. and other things of th sort. so, what do you guys think? are we unprepared? or too young?

Answer 1

well, im not a fan of planned babies.

i personally think, itll happen when it happens.

but i dont think that in your situation it would be in your best interests. considering you dont have steady jobs and you are still going through school. You should just sit down together and answer some questions like

will you REALLY be able to support a baby?

like with diapers, formula, doctors.. i know from expierence, they are Fing expensive.

Living together i think would be nice.

but if you're going to plan a baby, make sure you can support it; for the childs sake.

maybe ask your parents for their advice?

also, you are never to young to be a parent.

you just have to be mature about it.

Answer 2

First, it may not be that you won't be great parents at such a young age, but it is true that you can not provide to your child the same type of support that you would be able to if you waited just a few more years.  She's 24, and it's understandable at her age to want to settle down and begin a family.  That usually happens to females in their mid twenties.  But a man who owns a home, is financially stable enough to start a college fund, savings for future needs (cars, special education if the child turns out to be disabled in any way etc), and the stability in a relationship to ensure longevity is a better choice than a man that has recently graduated high school and has no immediate means or history of stability.  It doesn't mean that you don't love your girlfriend, or that you wouldn't be a good father, but you would be a better man and a better husband and father if you put your foot down and became determined to be the man you need to be BEFORE you begin your journey into fatherhood.  Hope that helps

Answer 3

Hey Steven,

The best indicator of the future is the past. If she has previously moved in with someone and tried to make a go of it, and then ended it, she sounds as though she isnt really sure about what she really wants. Sometimes, women think that they want a child, when what it REALLY is, is that they are feeling unfulfilled - like they are not on the path that they are wanting to be on. Please, you are much too young to be committing to anyone, let alone becoming a father. Wear a condom, and give yourself a chance to really experience life before being bogged down with someone. I promise you, in a few years you will appreciate this advice. If your girlfriend is pushing for a baby, she is not respecting your right to live your life and pursue your dreams. I dont think that either of you are ready to settle down at this point. Good luck!  

Answer 4

U r advised to wait till u settle in life. if u still feal that u can shoulder this sort of responsibility with all its pros and cons then go ahead.  

Answer 5

well it doesnt mean that she want a baby i am 18 and i had just moved into a house with my boyfriend but it doesnt mean that i want a baby.

if you feel this way about moving out sit you girlfriend down and talk to her. but if you both cnt afford to move out maybe you should say home for a bit until you get some money good luck xx

Answer 6

1. Have you graduated high school?

2. Are you married? Do you have a boyfriend who is guaranteed to stick with you through the pregnancy and then be part of your child's life once he/she is born?

3. Do you have a steady, dependable, well paying job?

4. Do you have your own place to live?

5. Do you have enough income to pay rent (or mortgage), utilities, bills, and personal expenses?

6. Do you have enough disposable income to support a child (buying diapers, formula, clothes, a nursery set, child care, etc).

If you've answered "no" to any of those questions then you shouldn't be planning on having a kid any time soon.  

Answer 7

You should wait. Usually when people have babies really young they wish they had waited. Finish school, get a good job, buy a house. Then you can better provide for a child. Children are wonderful, but a big expense. If I had it to do over again, I would have waited till I was thirty.

Answer 8

unprepared....YES too young....YES. i had a baby at 18 and it was the hardest thing to do. stay in school, get your education,(i wish i did) and find someone whos not willing to rush into LIFE ALTERING things.

Answer 9

I'm 25 and my husband is 23 he wanted a baby and I wanted to wait he said he was ready so i said okay come to find out we've got twins!!  I don't think he was prepared for that we both work good full time very well paying jobs and we DON'T pay for daycare!!  They are a LOT of money and a LOT A LOT of time but if you really think your ready well then what are you asking us for?  lol i would get married FIRST and then have the baby : ) good luck dude!!  

Answer 10

Emotionally it is a little too young

Legally there is nothing wrong with it

I would highly recommend waiting, especially if you are still at college - finish that first and then see how you feel afterwards. Remember you want to give your future children the best possible start in life. Educated parents is just one act of love you can do for your future children

I guess the biggest thing to think of is the "what ifs?"

What if your girlfriend has a complicated pregnancy, or goes in preterm labour? Did you know that babies born before 30 weeks cost approximately $250,000 in hospital visits? Can you afford this? Can you afford the loan?

What if your baby is born with a disability, either physically or mentally. Will you be able to cope with this emotionally? What about financially?

What if its twins?? Double the work and double the cost!

If something happens to one of you (you or your girlfriend) does the other person have enough education and a solid career background in order to support the entire family? What happens if you hurt your back and can't work for 6 months? What happens if you are in a care accident and break your leg(s) and can't work or help out with the baby for a few months? I work in a hospital - and there are so many things that happens to everyday people. There are so many lives thrust into turmoil because the husband is out of action for a year, and the mother has no education to go out and get a job.

I am not trying to scare you, but I am trying to be realistic. After working in a hospital, I can tell you these things happen ALL THE TIME. They are not a rare occurance, and I believe parents should be as prepared as possible for any "what ifs". I think you need to at least wait until you finish your education so that you don't have to rely on secondary income. Has she finished her education?

Goodluck, I don't have anything against your age but I do hope that you think of your babies future and how you are going to support them in case the unthinkable happens. You cannot foresee and prepare for everything, however an education for both parents is the best start you can give to your future childs life

Having a child is to live for the child - their needs have to come first. The biggest act of love you can perform for your future children is to ensure that you are stable enough (emotionally and financially) to give them the best quality of life possible before they are born. If you knew that waiting just a few more years and finishing your education, buying a house, having savings in the bank etc would greatly improve your childs quality of life, wouldn't you want to wait?