Is adoption a good choice?

Question

I'm unable to become pregnant and my husband and I are thinking adoption. If anyone has adopted can you tell me about the process. I've done a bit of research but I'd like some feedback from people who have done it. We know what age group we want to adopt, we just want some insight on the process and what we may or may NOT expect during the process.

Answer 1

I know someone who did adopt and this is what he told me. Expect a lot of tests on you and your hubby such as psycological testing. You will have meetings with the agency and speak to them on a regular basis. Once you get approved, and have found the child, then you have to go through all of the legal stuff as well as child check-ups with a psycologist and mental evaluations and doctor visits. It is a long drawn out process. You will have to have lots of patience with it. They will want to know everything possible about you and your husband and your family. Make sure that the child's evaluations are legible and you can read everything in them. One couple I know adopted without being able to read their psycological evaluations and come to find out, she was having s*x at age 7, killing animals, and tried to kill them as well. She was 9 at the time. They had no idea what all was wrong with the child mentaly bc they were unable to read them. The child was marked unadoptable. Which is absured in my opinion. I believe they should have been helping her overcome her mental problems before letting her be adopted in the first place.

Answer 2

What you can expect will depend on where you are, where you're adopting from and what age group you're wanting to adopt.

We adopted two girls internationally who were 7 & 10 at the time.  Our process involved nearly a year of gathering documents for our dossier, then our dossier went to the country where the girls were & went through the approval process there & waited.  We found out about the girls about ten months later & a few months later we were there meeting them & integrating them into our family.  This process involved a homestudy, gathering birth certificates, marriage certificates, letters of reference and all kinds of other stuff as well as getting criminal background checks from our state and the FBI and approval from Immigration.  We were fingerprinted many times, too.

If you adopt from foster care, the costs are minimal (and most, if not all, are reimbursed), depending on the child you want to adopt (age, gender, race, etc.) the wait might be long or short.

If you do a private domestic adoption, the wait will likely be longer than adopting from foster care (again, depending on the child you wish to adopt).

If you are open to different races, special needs, sibling groups, older kids, etc. your process could be much quicker than if you want a healthy white infant.

Get some books from http://www.tapestrybooks.com or your library (create a reading list from tapestry & go to your library to borrow them).  Get together with other adoptive parents (see if there's an association of adoptive parents or adoption support groups locally) and talk about adoption issues.  Gather a team of supportive people (other adoptive parents, friends or relatives who understand adoption, counselors, etc.) that you can turn to for help or advice...or even just a person to talk to.

Adoption is a wonderful way to grow your family.  We have two biological sons & two adopted daughters.  It's a great family!

Answer 3

yes it is a good choice.

good luck =)

Answer 4

I to am unable to have kids so My husband and I decided to adopt.  We did not have much money so we did Foster to adopt.  It is the BEST decision we have ever made in our life.  It is time consuming and they need to know everything about you and every family member you bills, your money you bring home you have to have home study done and physicals.  But we did adopt my son and he is the love of my life we could not imagine our lives without him.  We got him when he was a few days old and he is going to be 5 in two weeks

Answer 5

Yes!  It can be joyful and heartbreaking and complicated, just like any other complicated process.  But the end result is worth it.

A note to Southern Girl: What a great answer!

Good luck, whatever you choose.