Is adoption really that simple? I tell people I can't have a baby myself so I will not have kids,?

Question

they say why don't you adopt? From my understanding it is a long and diffficult process. Can you tell me about it. I would be interested but my husband is 46 and I am 34 I have had a couple different jobs in the past year and husband is type II diabetic. Can that cause a problem?

Answer 1

Foster care offers adoption (even new borns). Foster care notified me before my son was born so I was actually there at the hospital when he was born. I was the first to hold and feed him and was the only one who care for him (is birth-mother never saw him) He came home from the hospital with me. Forster care helped with his financial needs, ALL court costs & attorney fees! Now Adoption Assists program (AAP) will help me with his expenses until he is 18 or 21 if he is in school. I was 33 and a single mom when I adopted my son, 6 years ago. Good luck it really is easy via foster care.

Answer 2

Ignorant people always say "Why not just adopt" as if it is a simple matter of walking into an office and walking out with a baby. I got that a lot in the years where we were childless. It's complex, and expensive, but worth it if you want to be a parent.

Answer 3

It is a very long, sometimes difficult process, but it is worth every 550% of the effort in the end.

Answer 4

What all them said. Its all true

Answer 5

the question you need to answer is do you want to be a parent?  if you and your husband both do, and you have a loving environement to offer a child, then do it.  do your research and make sure it's something you really want to do.  it's not an easy process by any means, but it's worth it in the end.  the home study will ask you questions about your jobs and health, but as long as your income can support the needs of a child, and your husband's condition is controlled, i do not see any problem.  my husband had just had a colostomy and was wearing a colostomy bag when we adopted, and had a reversal surgery a month after we brought our daughter home.  the social worker asked about it, and how we planned to deal with everything, and we answered honestly and that was the end of it.  our adoption took 45 days from start to finish.  this was with the agency paperwork, homestudy, and birthmother match and the birth of our child.  i know that's very quick, but if you educate yourself and know what you're doing and go with a good agency and have a great attorney there's no reason why anyone should wait years.  i believe the average time for a couple to be paperwork ready to delivery of their child with our agency is on average 8 months to a year.  not that much longer than a pregnancy.  if it's what you want then go for it.  this is not something you want to look back on and wish you had.  good luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 6

No one who has ever been through adoption has said it is easy!

But then, neither is pregnancy.

If you want to be a parent, get started now.  Look in the Yellow Pages under "Adoption" and call a local agency.  Get an adoption Homestudy done to see if you would qualify first.  Some people obviously do not get approved!

Your 2 jobs and your husband's diabetes are no reason alone to disqualify you.  Think positively -- go ahead and apply now.  Then you can decide all the details about which agency to go through, international or domestic, etc.  Your homestudy can then be adjusted accordingly.

But don't wait too much longer --  you are reaching the age quickly that one or both of you may not qualify.  The cut off age is different for each agency (if domestic) or country (in international).  Some say both under 50, some say one under 50, some say both under 45, etc.

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

I agree with another person who suggested foster care first.  That is what we did.  If you are considering US adoption, the wait can sometimes be long.  By fostering, we got to know caseworkers, supervisors and other people involved with the state Human Services Department.  And by taking babies, sometimes you might get a newborn who will end up being yours.  Down side - Not all babies is foster care are given up to be adopted, so you might have to let some babies go.  You must have a good mental and emotional outlook to be able to do that without being completely crushed.  Just know that the right baby will come along for you.  Be patient.  Adopting through the state is usually a small cost, they have done all the legal work, and your lawyer just has to handle the actual court activities.  We adopted twice, and the cost was small for us.  You just need to show that you can provide a good home for children, not be rich.  Even natural parents sometimes have health problems.  Just think positively.  Good luck!

Answer 8

We adopted both of our children from Korea. We wanted children so much, and expected it to be a very long and difficult process, however, it wasn't nearly as hard as we thought, and ended up only taking 7 months total for our first child and only 5 months for our second. This was definetly on the faster side, but it goes to show that not all adoptions take years and years.

There was a lot of paperwork at first, but the only really tough part for us was waitng for our children to come home after we recieved their referral (which took several months) However the wait was definetly worth it, we have had wonderful adoption experiences so far and plan to adopt again.

Your ages and husband's condition shouldn't restrict you from most programs. My advice is to research the different types of adoption (private domestic, international, foster-adopt, infant vs older child or sibling group), and once you decide on the type which is best for your family contact SEVERAL different agencies and discuss requirements, timeframes, fees, etc. Agencies can be very different, even with similar programs.

Adoption can be a wonderful way to start a family, and although it takes a lot of effort and paitience, if you really want to be parents it is definetly worth it. Good luck.

Answer 9

What a great question... and one I can answer.  I am 31 years old; and my hubby's 35; and we started the adoption process in October 2006.  I can't have children because I have endometrosis.  I am going to be very frank with you.  If you are going to adopt, you MUST and I can't stress it enough, you MUST have patience.  The adoption process is an emotional rollercoaster.  We are working with a private adoption agency, however, the children we can adopt are in the state Department of Family and Children services.  Our process has been almost 9 months, like a pregnancy.  But, I am happy to say we've been selected to parent a 22 month old; and we are getting ready to start our pre-placement visits with her this month.  So, all in all from the moment we submitted our application, took our parenting courses, had our homestudy; and starting viewing children over the internet, it's been about 9 months. As for your question regarding it being a long and difficult process, honestly, I feel 9 months is a long time, but, you may not.  Difficult... all I can say is yes, at times.  It really depends on the professionals (i.e. caseworkers, administrators) you deal with.  As for your different jobs within the last year.  The agency's do view your financial records to make sure your family's capable of taking on an extra person; and if your husband is healthy and taking care of his diabetes, that should not be a problem.  You both will need to have physicals and blood work done, just to make sure you have a good life expectancy and will be around for a long time to take care of your child.  I hope this info helps and if you have any other inquiries regarding the process, send me a personal email, I'd be happy to give advice or to answer your question.  Good luck!!

Answer 10

No that isn't an issue. If you can provide basic needs and a happy life...they will give you a chance. Yes its alot of paperwork but isn't a child worth every step of it.... I think so