Is adoption right?

Question

im 12 and im pregnant, i dont know iff i will be able to cope with a baby, even iff i would reli like to, i want my child to hav the best possible future, is putting it for adoptiona right and fair thing to do ?

Answer 1

If you feel that you can't take care of it, then it's for the best. You're still in school, so you couldn't take care of it during the day. If the father has no part in it, then I especially recommend it. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

well at 12 YES adoption is a great choice! my opinion is that obviously you are not very responsible to get pregnant at 12 years old!! so how could you be responsible to raise a child ... and your 12?? your still a child!! smarten you butt up!!

Answer 3

You need to get an abortion ASAP.

At 12 years old your body is still growing, being pregnant and giving birth could kill you.

Under NO circumstances should you become an abandoner.

12 year olds shouldn't be having s*x, you should be concentrating on your school work.

Answer 4

Giving your baby up is hard, but is for the best.  You are only 12 and are not ready to be a parent.  A baby needs a loving stable home and you need a chance to grow up.  Please make sure that you takes steps to avoid becoming pregnant again.  Many teen age mothers have several babies before the age of 20.  Please go an talk to a counselor who can help you with this.  God bless.

Answer 5

In my opinion, yes. At 12 years old taking caring of an infant is more than you could probably handle. Caring for an infant is a physically and emotionally draining 24 hour a day job. Also, it would effect your schooling negatively.

It's a personal decision that you'll have to come to terms with, but I believe it may be a good one.

I think you're too young to be sexually active in the first place, but if you continue to be, you should probably be put on birth control afterwards to prevent this from happening again.

Answer 6

Yes...adoption will be better than anything for the both of you. I had my daughter at 17 and I gave her up for adoption...I am lucky that the family that adopted her was willing to do an "open-adoption" where i still get to know her and talk to her. I phone her and write letters.  It is a wonderful thing. I still got to go to college and she gets to live on the beach and go fishing on the lake...she has a wonderful life with her family and I am happy to have given her that. :)

Answer 7

In your case I think adoption would be a very good choice.

Answer 8

I believe it would be more fair to both you and the unborn child to let someone else raise it. There is something called an open adoption you can do so you know what family has your baby. You get to choose them and possibly keep in touch with your baby. You need a future and so does the baby. Good luck, there is no easy solution to this problem.

Answer 9

This is so sad. I would recommend you do place the baby for adoption.  You are a child yourself.  I doubt you’d be able to cope with full time parent hood at 12 or 13. You might even be able to place the baby with a someone in your family, this is called Kinship adoption.  Then enjoy the rest of your childhood/teenhood. And don’t have s*x again in till you’re 17 or older.

You would not be abandoning your baby. You would be giving it parent(s) who are actually  ready to be parents. And can provide for the child unlikely it being cared for by another child.  Also since you were raped you need to go the police straightaway or talk to an adult you trust. This baby could be potential evidence if it turns out to be the father of your boyfriends.

Answer 10

at 12 you should not be pregnant i am very sorry for you.either get an abortion or give this baby up for adoption.at 12 you will not be able to be a mother who is ready for this very hard job.then get yourself on track.get yourself on birth control and use it all the time if you are going to keep having s*x at all.you really should not be having s*x at all.stay in school and focus on your education and future career.a baby should be part of a married mom and dads life not a 12 year old child! good luck!whoever knocked you up should be in jail it is statutory rape because it is illegal for children to have s*x!!!

Answer 11

I think you would be doing the right thing to put your unborn child up for adoption. You should be able to grown up and be a kid yourself. I think that would be the best thing you have every done.

Answer 12

No one can answer that for you.  Do you have support from your parents?  That's an awfully huge decision for a 12-year-old to make.  Talk to trustworthy adults who can help you know what ALL of your options really are.

Answer 13

I was a child given up for adoption by a young teen mother and it was the best thing for both of us. I had a great life being raised with 2 parents and brothers, and my BM life didnt end at 15.  If you cant give the baby everything it needs and deserves (and at 12 I dont think anyone could) would it be fair NOT to give it a better life? Definitely dont go looking for parents on the internt. Find a repuable agency and deal with them. Good luck!

Answer 14

yes because you of the child does not want or can't take care of the child anymore you should put it up for adoption. even though you might feel bad sending the baby to someone else,if its what is best for you you should do it. it's okay.

Answer 15

i had a friend once in this situation. her mother adopted the baby, but the friend still raised him. maybe see if your parents or anyone in the family can adopt the baby. or if you have the support of your family, keep the baby. it would be horrendous, yes. but if you can get help giving the baby all the support she/he needs, that baby will be able to know you and love you. it's a better option than adoption if it can be done. if not, go for adoption. it will be terrible on you, but if it's best for the baby, it's best for the baby.

please dont even listen to the people saying to get an abortion. dont kill your baby because of someone else's mistakes. and as far as the person saying you could die in childbirth..... you sound like a good mother wanting the best for her baby. and a good mother never ever EVER puts anything above their child, not even their own life.

sorry to be a bit preachy.

although just consider things carefully, if you believe your baby would be better off with another family, go for it. if you pray, pray a lot. talk to others who have been in this situation. talk to your family. seek guidance from every trusted source you have.

whatever you decide, good luck.

Answer 16

Hi Jessica,

You are in a serious adult situation right now.  After reading your other question, it's even more serious.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

You may not realize it, but you are also a rape victim.  First, you need to report that!  You should tell your parents, a school counselor, a teacher, or another older relative that you trust.  A police report needs to be made immediately and your boyfriend's father needs to be held accountable for what he did to you, regardless of whether or not he is the father of your baby.  The rape was not your fault.  You are still a child, and he victimized you.  

We cannot tell you what to do about the pregnancy.  That is ultimately up to you.  Don't let others talk you into anything you do not want.  I encourage you to independently research your options and think long & hard.  It will affect both you and a  possible child for the rest of your lives.  

The first pregnancy-related decision you need to make is whether or not you wish to be pregnant at all at this time.  If not, then it may be possible to terminate the pregnancy depending upon how far along you are.  

If you do wish to be pregnant, then you can wait until after the child is born to explore your options of who will parent your child.  Do you have a good family support system?  What are your boyfriend's feelings about all this?  You might also consider extended family members in your decision.  You should know that adoption to an outside family will have permanent, negative effects on both your child and you.  Don't count on adoption agencies to give you any of the negatives pertaining to adoption because they won't.  They will tell you there are not any.  Those who have lived it will tell you otherwise.  Agencies exist to sell babies to their clients.  And one more bit of advice - there is not a real option called "open adoption."  That legally does not exist.  Hope some of this helps.

Good luck Jessica,

julie j

reunited adoptee